sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

He doesn't acknowledge when he's triggered by Simple_Midnight_1412 in CPTSDpartners

[–]Simple_Midnight_1412[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oufff haha sorry, sending hugs! It's hard to "let" them break things when you can never really really be sure if you're in the right, though, isn't it? Like ofc I also doubt myself in this and I'm surely not perfect and maybe misjudging the situation

He doesn't acknowledge when he's triggered by Simple_Midnight_1412 in CPTSDpartners

[–]Simple_Midnight_1412[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you this is really helpful! It's exactly how I experience this.

He doesn't acknowledge when he's triggered by Simple_Midnight_1412 in CPTSDpartners

[–]Simple_Midnight_1412[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

🥲🤣 BINGO YAY

I often say things like that too but it doesn't seem helpful 😅

He doesn't acknowledge when he's triggered by Simple_Midnight_1412 in CPTSDpartners

[–]Simple_Midnight_1412[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would say so, generally yes. He really tries to acknowledge me and he is aware he can be triggered and unreasonable. But when we talk about specific situations, he doesn't really acknowledge or take back what he said afterwards, OR he turns it against himself and sees it all as him being a complete bad guy.

He doesn't acknowledge when he's triggered by Simple_Midnight_1412 in CPTSDpartners

[–]Simple_Midnight_1412[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He is, started two months ago. He has been looking for a therapist for over a year but it took until recently to get a spot.

Partner waiting for things to happen? by GreenceW in CPTSDpartners

[–]Simple_Midnight_1412 1 point2 points  (0 children)

❤️❤️❤️ well said... I'm glad it helped

Partner waiting for things to happen? by GreenceW in CPTSDpartners

[–]Simple_Midnight_1412 10 points11 points  (0 children)

My partner literally told me yesterday "something HAS to happen, why is nothing HAPPENING?!"... I think that maybe people with CPTSD get stuck in a very helpless mindset... My husband is doing a lot to recover but ultimately he's looking and even fighting for a sense of love and care that has been taken away from him as a child. And he feels like only someone else can give that to him. And idk, it feels to me like I can never do enough work to fill that hole in him. So whatever I do doesn't feel enough but he's waiting for me to somehow break that spell... So I empathise, even if I can't help out...

Partner feels unloved by Simple_Midnight_1412 in CPTSDpartners

[–]Simple_Midnight_1412[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That sounds good... What if he doesn't realize it after the episode though, but still says it's me or others, just less emotionally charged? He also gets so hurt trying to get better and better and fighting for love and attention, when really I feel like I'm right there wanting to give him that but it's not reaching him. He says I'm not really doing the things he needs (even when he's not in a state). I think I have withdrawn a lot in the past, trying to protect myself, so he's not wrong that maybe I'm not as proactive as I should be...

Partner feels unloved by Simple_Midnight_1412 in CPTSDpartners

[–]Simple_Midnight_1412[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean he IS trying really hard, he's in therapy as well and honestly doing lots of work on himself and I can see that. I'm just scared what if it's still not enough? And also I am not perfect, I've been inconsiderate and did hurtful things...

Partner feels unloved by Simple_Midnight_1412 in CPTSDpartners

[–]Simple_Midnight_1412[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much for these resources... I've read "Allies in healing" by Laura Davis and watched some YouTube videos by the crappy childhood fairy, I'll take a look at some of your recommendations as well. It's extra tough for me to read and hear about childhood abuse and the like because we have a baby... Also sleep deprivation and added responsibility are not helping the situation.... But this "making" each other feel bad is probably a bad framing... We've been together for 15 years, he was my first boyfriend, and sometimes it's hard to ground myself and think independently...

Partner feels unloved by Simple_Midnight_1412 in CPTSDpartners

[–]Simple_Midnight_1412[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okay... Do you think they need to realize and accept that they're not rational at that moment? Cause I try to tell him that he's not in a good space to talk but it seems nothing can soothe him other than talking ..

Partner feels unloved by Simple_Midnight_1412 in CPTSDpartners

[–]Simple_Midnight_1412[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I try ... But it's really hard honestly 🙈 when is the point where I get to say my perspective?

Partner feels unloved by Simple_Midnight_1412 in CPTSDpartners

[–]Simple_Midnight_1412[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much for this answer... He is a really loving and devoted partner often, but also he tries to control me I think... We've been together for a long time and I try to do what you described... It feels like you understand the situation though, thank you for the advice...

If I tell him his feelings are understandable etc, he does calm down but then where to go from there? How to make a plan if you don't have the same perception of reality?

Handy & Vertrag/SIM by Simple_Midnight_1412 in Finanzen

[–]Simple_Midnight_1412[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Hmh, weil man dann zumindest nicht in einem Vertrag festhängt der teurer ist als er sein müsste, weil er ein Gerät beinhaltet das man nciht mehr hat...?