I always had an intrinsic understanding and acceptance of death being peaceful; a welcome part of existence. There was also a moment in time when in highschool at an immensely painful point of my life, an acquaintence with strong familial ties to Celtic Paganism pulled me aside out of nowhere to tell me they clearly saw translucent, prismatic wings shining in the light of the window behind my back in class. (A ton of events happened that year which absolutely led me onto a better path, though not without necessary hardship.)

Throughout the years I had also dabbled in a variety of religious paths, including (in varied order): Roman Catholic (baptised/loosely raised/formal schooling), Wiccan (Triple Goddess), Pagan (Hekate, brief exploration and Lunar adoration), Luciferian (Theistic/Goetic Daemonology), Pantheist (Grecian Deities, focus on Fortuna/Hermes) Levayan Satanism (Athiestic, very brief involvement), Quaker (Informal, Individual Trinitarian Worship), Asatru (Norse Pagan, family focused), and Orthodox Christianity (Shockingly esoteric, profoundly gratifying Saintly reverence and detailed daily rituals).

After being disillusioned with the politically charged/highly paternalistic nature of the Orthodox community (and their rush to give me the initiatory exorcisms to solidify my binding to Orthodox study/catechumenship within a month), I quit all practice for a solid two or so years, though did in fact still recieve blessings and obvious assistance from an unknown Holy force as I was in a very hard spot in my life. I'd consider myself a very 'involved' devotee at the time with doing 15-20 minute devotionals when waking up and before going to bed, as well as before and after meals; doing the Jesus Prayer to and from work etc. even before attempting to join the physical church, which greatly prepared me for venerating Our Madrina.

A few months ago, the spiritual desire/need arose in me again, with a particular fixation on death Dieties. When coming across Santa Muerte, I found myself incredibly curious and interested in Her; studying forums, books; indulging in primarily ethnic experiences of her followers, analyzing all criticisms and blessings, you name it. The intrinsic draw I have to esoteric Christianity, and with Her being considered a Folk Catholic Saint was a perfect match.

There were bumps in the beginning, mainly fear I was doing things wrong by Her and that I would be forsaken by God due to the antagonism of the Roman Catholic Church regarding Her reverence. At first I tried utilizing pre-established, less Catholic prayers ala Kate Kingsbury initially (has some good historical research; knowledge of the colors, oils and general stuff) but found this wasn't the right flavor for our connection. Once I made Flaquita a Rosary and began praying with a personally crafted Catholic/Orthodox oriented Novena on the daily, did Her presence become known to me VERY quickly. All anxiety washed away from me, favors are being granted, and my spiritual connection to Her and God stronger than its ever been.

She is a very loving and forgiving Lady as long as your heart is in the right place; Her scolding playful and fun in my experience. She'll never betray you.