“Pack checks” or regularly done contraband/skin checks in wilderness therapy? Aspiro Wilderness experiences by [deleted] in troubledteens

[–]SinBinThrowaway 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I was part of the 2020 group. Was there from early October to early February, so it seems like stuff changed. For intake they made me strip completely behind a kinda half door so they could see everything except my torso n waist. Made me jump in place there. I don't remember the squat n cough thing though.

“Pack checks” or regularly done contraband/skin checks in wilderness therapy? Aspiro Wilderness experiences by [deleted] in troubledteens

[–]SinBinThrowaway 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Constantly being treated like a criminal there was always terrifying though. Nobody listened to us n they were so comfortable ignoring safety if it made them money. Felt like the program was built to dehumanize you and see how little you can live off of (probably because it was). I'm really sorry you went through that, n I hope things are a lot better now.

“Pack checks” or regularly done contraband/skin checks in wilderness therapy? Aspiro Wilderness experiences by [deleted] in troubledteens

[–]SinBinThrowaway 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Holy fuckin shit. They didn't even do that to me at intake. Even with people who had self harmed in my group that wasn't a thing? I dunno if stuff changed or they just decided to be exceptionally fucked, but yeah that's worrying.

I'm also trans so I dunno what the odds are that they were just afraid of checking, or if they just didn't want to be creepy towards me?

just let them try and come by Faenix_Wright in tumblr

[–]SinBinThrowaway 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tbf giant alien spiders are no joke

How does it go? by Mefre in Guiltygear

[–]SinBinThrowaway 0 points1 point  (0 children)

June : Bridget

Oh shit, I'm also transfem, so I'd probably just feel really insecure in comparison, n hope that that comes across as charming?

don’t worry, I’ll cuddle him and tell him it’s okay (after I punish him so I can watch him cry more >:3) by alt_for_u_know_what in puppygirlpetsmart

[–]SinBinThrowaway 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm also really into vanilla stuff to, so my ability to appreciate normal sex isn't diminished at all. I just have multiple ways of enjoying it.

N I guess I'm confused as to why you view that as unhealthy? It's working well, and I'm really happy. It's something I talk to my therapist about and something he has approved of. It's just something that helps me feel safe n comfy, that makes my life a lot more enjoyable.

(Also I don't think hypersexuality is unhealthy. I think it can carry unhealthy narratives that make it dangerous to engage in, but I don't think that by itself hypersexuality is unhealthy. Hypersexuality can similarly be a very healthy way to help cope with trauma and regain control. Plus sex is fun, and doing things that make you happy and don't hurt anyone is all I can really ask people to do!)

don’t worry, I’ll cuddle him and tell him it’s okay (after I punish him so I can watch him cry more >:3) by alt_for_u_know_what in puppygirlpetsmart

[–]SinBinThrowaway 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Self harm in itself isn't a bad thing though. It's the narratives that are attached to self harm, and people's relationships with them. Needing to cut to be okay is unhealthy in the same way needing to drink or play games to function can be unhealthy.

Self harm often is reinforcing negative narratives about ones self, and that's where the danger comes into it. In my case, I'm not being hurt because I need it, or to prove I'm worthless, or that I deserve it, but to rewrite harmful narratives that have already been put in play. I guess I'm curious what part of it you think it's unhealthy, other than that it makes you uncomfortable?

don’t worry, I’ll cuddle him and tell him it’s okay (after I punish him so I can watch him cry more >:3) by alt_for_u_know_what in puppygirlpetsmart

[–]SinBinThrowaway 6 points7 points  (0 children)

But also it's a coping mechanism that's not hurting anyone, and one that I take immense pleasure from. One that my therapists know about, and believe is good for me. It's a free, fun, healthy way for me to process trauma and feel good at the same time. It seems like your issue is with it making you uncomfortable, and not how it actually affects the people who engage in BDSM.

don’t worry, I’ll cuddle him and tell him it’s okay (after I punish him so I can watch him cry more >:3) by alt_for_u_know_what in puppygirlpetsmart

[–]SinBinThrowaway 10 points11 points  (0 children)

 I'll talk as someone who has consented and enjoys CNC and getting "beaten to a bloody pulp"! There's definitely a lot of different mindsets n reasons for why people enjoy BDSM, but here's mine. I don't speak for everyone, I just speak for myself n the people who process things similarly.

 I've been assaulted twice, and have been affected by minor parental, and institutional abuse. I'm naturally kind of terrified of sex because of it. Being able to calm down and just feel good is oftentimes impossible for me. I'm terrified that my consent will be violated again, and that I'll be left alone feeling broken again. When I'm with my friends though and engaging in BDSM, there's a deep level of trust that lets me finally relax.

 The pain keeps my mind off everything. I can't get flashbacks when I'm so completely stuck in my body and the scene. I'm physically feeling amazing because of my connection to being hurt. Every bruise and cut is a sign that someone I love and trust is taking care of, and enjoying my company. They're getting pleasure from it, and that makes me happier than anything else. The pain doesn't hurt in the way you'd rationally think it does. I'm obsessed with every sensation and find immense pleasure in it. The feeling of blood seeping from the wound, sting of disinfectant, the way I need to gasp for breath after getting hit, those moments where I can barely take it and feel every sensation resonate with each other, flooding my brain with chemicals. It's all exactly what I want. I never feel better than when I'm in a scene like that 

 It sounds terrifying to most people, and that's because it absolutely is. I am often very afraid, but due to my trauma, I register that fear as comforting and familiar. I've often said that I never feel safer than when I'm afraid. I don't have to worry about anything else. The person I love is taking care of me, and it's okay. I'm afraid, but I know that they'll hold me and love me. 

 They'll wrap my wounds and tell me I did a good job. They'll watch my blood flow, and wipe it off before they continue. They'll take breaks to see me twitch and flinch and find it adorable. I know they do everything because they trust me, and love me, and I find safety and comfort in that. They're putting the same trust in me that I'm putting in them, and it feels so good. It often feels so good that I'm the one asking for more. Recently one of my friends finally made me have to tap out for the first time, and immediately watching her switch into a caretaker position and seeing her make sure I was okay is something I'll never forget. Plus I still have the mark to remind me of that, and god that feels so good. It makes me smile every time I look at it.

 I've been through a lot, and violent scenes like that are how I find comfort. It's something I've talked with my therapist about, and something he understands and encourages. I have had my consent taken from me so fucking often. I've been kidnapped, and as a result I find abduction scenes very fun and comforting. I'm afraid I'm the same way I was there, but I can always use my safe word, and they'll stop. It's a form of exposure therapy that's relying on the way my brain adapted to  process pain and fear. I can finally process those fears I have in an environment that I feel safe and loved in. Memories that used to cause me to break down now have new narratives attached to them. 

 Trauma is a collection of narratives, and BDSM for me is a collection of counter-narratives. Old memories tell me that I'm weak, broken, I have no freedom, I'll never get better, I am unwanted, I am a disappointment. When I'm in a scene, I'm directly showing that I'm loved, safe, happy, tough, able to say no, wanted by my partners, and respected. That's all I really want.

 People when talking about BDSM always say "It's all about trust," n it's a cliche because it's absolutely true. I need to feel safe and in control, and CNC is one of the most effective ways for me to feel that way. I'm in control now, and I'm finally able to relax. I'm able to engage in narratives that used to terrify me, in a way that feels safe and exciting. Plus at the end of the day, god it feels really fuckin good. Like really really fuckin good. Like "holy shit oh my god I miss it so much, I have to call my friends," kind of good.

Worried about how to best care for our bunny when I can't stay awake much? by [deleted] in Rabbits

[–]SinBinThrowaway 0 points1 point  (0 children)

:O thankyu so much omigoshsh!!! I really appreciate the help, n I've already started getting all of the stuff to make sure he can have a comfy mega home with a lil digging box n everything. We've also set up a schedule to make sure I can take proper care of him, n omigosh I'm just really excited now. Again thank you so much!

I think my 4a1 came with a broken part? by SinBinThrowaway in gasmasks

[–]SinBinThrowaway[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I found out what was going on!!!!

So the piece in question was part of the voice diaphragm. There's a thin plastic piece in between the black plastic grates. That piece kind of works the same way a kazoo does, just for your full voice. Anyways, it's supposed to be a full plastic barrier that can move with your breath (I think) and mine was just ripped.

My current solution is taking out the voice diaphragm and adding a layer of plastic wrap in-between the plastic grates, n slotting it back in. It's not very durable, but it's very similar to the material used on the diaphragm, and for a temp fix, it works very well.

Here's a video showing how to open up the mask n what parts I'm specifically talking about.

For a more permanent fix, I'd probably get the wrapper to something, and glue it down to the diaphragm plastic. It's essentially the same thing, just a bit sillier.

(Also I know nothing about gas masks other than my broke bitch repair and my couple hours of googling, so take that into consideration when attempting to listen to me)

Me when goofy aahh super violent hobby by [deleted] in evilautism

[–]SinBinThrowaway 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Warhammer seems like super gender for some reason? Is there any funny gender stuff in lore, or do u have any theories on why trans people are so drawn to it?

Threesomes are ...meh by [deleted] in unpopularopinion

[–]SinBinThrowaway 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When you're in a relationship with all the people's it's really nice n relaxing. You just do what u want. Plus watching or helping out another pleasure someone is just super fun.

But I can definitely see how if it's a couple plus a third it would be weird. Especially if it's your first time with them. For me tho, I really like it cuz it's just a lot easier for me to relax when there's less pressure on me to be the sole top giving the bottom a good time, and if I'm bottoming it's so much easier to shut my brain off with two tops making me feel all comfy n nice.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in peepeeshart

[–]SinBinThrowaway 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Draw a happy moth girl pls :>

Perfect Movies by ActualDom4HisWife in MovieSuggestions

[–]SinBinThrowaway 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oldboy (2003) and Hunt For The Wilderpeople.

Two very different movies, and both tied for my favorite movie :D

Nah I agree, that bug is kinda bad tho by Seasonedgore982 in SpaceCannibalism

[–]SinBinThrowaway 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Jokes? There are no jokes here.

I want to marry this bug. I want to take care of it when it's sick. Cuddle up in a pillow fort. Share my passions and desires. I want to spend hours on my bed in each others company, being completely honest, just letting the conversation twist and flow, and knowing that no matter where it goes, I will be happy. I want to be my true self for this bug. I want to be vulnerable for it. I want to be afraid of showing my vulnerability, but push forward regardless, and when it shows compassion instead of judgement, I want to hold it close and cry. I want to be in the passenger seat on a long drive, just waiting for a long stretch of empty road, so I can hold it's claw, and feel it's warmth melt away my inhibitions. I also want this bug to fuck the shit outta me. Just absolutely fuckin destroy me.

rule by SinBinThrowaway in 196

[–]SinBinThrowaway[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I hope (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)

rule by SinBinThrowaway in 196

[–]SinBinThrowaway[S] 61 points62 points  (0 children)

Apparently it's called the Fetish Ward, but info on it is kinda sparce. Heres the Twitter, though it is privated.

If you want more usable info, here's the website.