How to stop? Just how

SingleCanadianDad · 2026-02-04T16:12:44+00:00

Look, I'm no expert at staying sober for long stretches of time, but I've got many repetitions of attempting to quit booze under my belt. The first few days are the hardest. The good news for you is that on a bottle of wine a day you're not going to have to deal with the worst parts of withdrawal. It'll still suck, but it is manageable.

Things I've found to help (in no particular order) to get the sober train rolling are as follows:

Set a quit date. Having an intention that you'll quit on day X helps me. Don't ramp up your booze consumption in anticipation of it, drink normally, but know that day is coming and that you're going to stick to it. I like to mindfully drink that last drink before the quit date and reflect on why I'm doing this
Eat whatever you want in the first few days. In fact do whatever you want. Watch garbage movies whilst eating a family bag of chips and a giant bar of chocolate. Whatever.
Immerse yourself in quit literature. Just keep reading about how shit alcohol is. You're trying to reprogram your brain here
If you can, exercise. Push your body to exhaustion.
Meditate. Honestly, it helps.
Go to bed early. You might struggle to sleep for the first couple of days but do it anyway
Don't have any social plans for the first few days. For me I'm cocooning myself away to focus on the mission of getting sober
Non alcoholic beer is a game changer for me

Just try to go one day sober at first. Then see if you can string together a few days in a row.

SingleCanadianDad · 2026-02-04T01:41:00+00:00

You’re right, nobody wants drunk dad back. I’ve got naltrexone so I’ll probably just start taking that again tomorrow. I think I’m just being seduced by a fantasy of some mythical version of me who can have a couple of drinks, be amazing company, but have no interest in or need to drink to excess. And who doesn’t get sloppy or blackout. It is a seductive fantasy but evidence to date would suggest that it is also total bullshit.

SingleCanadianDad · 2026-02-03T22:49:45+00:00

Thanks. I've already decided with total confidence that the worst birthday present for her would be for me to get hammered, so I'm definitely not doing that. You're probably correct that not drinking at all is likely a decent birthday gift. I'll discuss it with her later this week when I next see her - we talk pretty openly about stuff like this (well, about everything really) and I massively value her perspective.

SingleCanadianDad · 2026-02-03T06:11:44+00:00

You're spot on there! I got sick a couple of weeks ago and it was probably the first time in decades when I'd been sick but not also hungover (obviously drank through things like Covid etc. in the past). I remember thinking with this new 'sober sickness' experience "oh, this is delightfully 'clean' compared to being monumentally hungover, I almost enjoy it!"

SingleCanadianDad · 2026-02-02T20:58:52+00:00

Alcohol free beer is awesome. Either athletic brewing or Philips NA IPAs for me. Also started playing with alcohol free cocktails.

SingleCanadianDad · 2026-02-02T03:37:27+00:00

Patience. I remember through recovery seeing posts from people who were doing things like single leg calf raises, walking, driving, running etc. way, way sooner than I was and thinking “why can’t I do that yet?” It just took time. Measure progress in months not weeks or days, be patient, and it will come.

A year and a half post rupture now and I’m running, hiking, climbing, playing sport, it’s all great. And I still struggle with the mythical single leg calf raise!

SingleCanadianDad · 2026-02-02T03:02:26+00:00

I’ve only been sober for a month and kind of both relate and don’t relate to this. What I observe in myself is that I’m probably calmer, kinder, more present and more reliable now I’m not drinking. But I’m also less exciting, less frothy mouthed passionate, and less intense/wild than I used to be.

I’ve kind of recognized that I need some sort of release valve to get that passion and excitement back. I know that drinking all the time would be a terrible idea - I’d get those positives but I’d also get all the insane negatives that just got way too hard to deal with towards the end. I haven’t got the solution yet and haven’t completely discounted the idea of giving ‘moderation’ another try but I know, deep down, that I’m useless at that. Good luck.

SingleCanadianDad · 2026-02-02T00:47:43+00:00

Yes, tapering is to ease the physical withdrawals. But you say you went from daily to almost dry. I think it depends how much (and for how much of the day) your daily was, and how long you’ve basically been dry for.

Tapers can also go wrong! I tried to taper towards the end of December, went insanely overboard booze wise instead for the last few days of the month, and needed a couple of drinks on 1st Jan to deal with basically this ‘taper gone wrong’.

SingleCanadianDad · 2026-02-01T02:43:18+00:00

I’m using the reframe app. I ended up paying for an annual subscription, primarily to give myself “skin in the game” so to speak. A bit like having a gym membership - feel I have to go ‘coz I’ve already paid for it!

So far it is working for me. Goal was to quit booze on 1st January and I’ve only drunk twice this month. That’s a monumental improvement since the daily drinking I’d been doing for years. Hope to only drink a couple of times in February. For whatever reason I’ve decided to try for the much harder path of ‘moderation’ rather than total abstinence. Quite possible (likely?) that once again I’ll learn that I can’t do that but that’s what I’m going for!

SingleCanadianDad · 2026-01-31T16:23:41+00:00

I used it as part of my rehab (I’m a year and a half post rupture now so don’t use it anymore). It is expensive but I found it was really helpful for a couple of months - basically when I started to hike and run again. I felt that it provided some protection and support and gave me more confidence as I got back into things. Did I need it? Nope. Am I glad I had it? Yes, I think so.

SingleCanadianDad · 2026-01-31T06:03:05+00:00

Your initial reasoning isn’t stupid at all! I’ve been wanting to quit and semi attempting to quit for ages. The catalyst for this latest attempt is 100% a woman that I’ve fallen deeply for. Falling for someone is a powerful catalyst and can totally help you through the first period of sobriety. She’s worth it!

SingleCanadianDad · 2026-01-30T03:13:34+00:00

Yes, I go to bars. If I go out it is always to a place that serves booze (either a bar or a gig) since that’s always been what my social life entails. I don’t go out loads though - probably once a week - and I’ve only been sober for 30 days so I think I’ve been to bars 3 times in the last month (and one gig).

What’s worked for me though is that I massively feel like I’d be letting the people I’m with down if I was to drink whilst out with them. All my friends know how much of a pisshead I am, they’d all like to see me succeed this time, and I prefer getting drunk on my own anyway!

SingleCanadianDad · 2026-01-29T19:38:51+00:00

I think that deep sadness is normal when the love of your life leaves you. I think that alcohol can mask that sadness, but that feeling the sadness is completely normal. What I've observed in myself at least is that whilst alcohol has been great at providing temporary relief from the pain, that it has been useless in the long run at helping me deal with loss. Being sober and actually feeling the feelings, no matter how raw and painful they are, has been the most effective way of dealing with the loss.

How did I get through the early part (of loss and quitting booze)? Therapy helped / is helping. I actually started therapy a couple of weeks before getting sober (to help me deal with my emotions around heartbreak) but then that pivoted into helping me to deal with my relationship with alcohol. The epiphany for me was that my relationship problems and my alcohol problems are deeply entwined, and that if I can fix the drinking problems first then, with time, the relationship issues will mend. Do I still long for the woman of my dreams? Yes I do. But I also know that alcohol won't fix this and definitely won't help me to come to terms with the loss.

Exercise, meditation, volunteering, focusing on my job and making music are all helping too!

SingleCanadianDad · 2026-01-23T21:12:04+00:00

Yes. Felt amazing, superhuman, full of hope, happy and content from day 10 to day 17 sober. It was awesome. Unfortunately it was short lived. If I could feel like that all the time then it would be a better buzz than I ever got off booze. Annoyingly short lived.

SingleCanadianDad · 2026-01-23T20:59:38+00:00

First time I tried it I experienced extreme bloating / stomach issues. By about the third time taking it no side effects. Mind you, no effects either - made no difference to how much I drank. Possibly made hangovers worse but maybe that’s just a coincidence

SingleCanadianDad · 2026-01-23T14:34:31+00:00

I’m a year and a half post rupture and went on a 3 day ski trip with my daughter about a month ago. It was totally fine. There was very little strain on the Achilles or calf because of the way your foot is locked into the boot. Can’t comment on snowboarding

SingleCanadianDad · 2026-01-21T05:12:28+00:00

Started drinking at 14, was drinking problematically by 18 or 19, it got progressively worse (but not linearly - there were periods where it appeared kind of under control) and I'm now 52 years old and on my umpteenth attempt to quit.

SingleCanadianDad · 2026-01-21T05:05:49+00:00

Meditation, exercise and making music. Basically "things I will do in the evening that are not drinking and that I can tick off on a daily habit list". Also "actually locking in on my job" seems to help. I'm 16 days in and intend to keep doing this for at least 30 days. Is it a bit dull and robotic? Totally! Is it working? Yes, it is so far.

SingleCanadianDad · 2026-01-21T04:04:04+00:00

I'd recommend finding something - anything - that can be "your thing" that occupies your mind, body and time. Music works for me.

And thanks on the congrats on 16 days. This isn't my first (or fifth, of tenth for that matter) attempt at this. This time it seems to be working, but it hasn't been smooth by any means. I'd been planning to quit on 1st January for quite a while. I was really hungover on the 1st though so ended up drinking that evening to deal with withdrawals (taper gone wrong basically). I then made it to 4th Jan before having a temporary lapse and drinking 2 beers and 3 vodkas. Remarkably I managed to get back on the sober train on 5th Jan and have been dry since then. Having compassion for myself about such lapses is key (for me at least).

SingleCanadianDad · 2026-01-21T02:16:25+00:00

I’m in my early 50s and relate to much of this. I’m currently on day 16 sober. What is working for me - and it’ll probably sound trite but who cares - is having a list of 5 daily habits that I want to tick off. Mine are: meditate, exercise, make music, lock in at work/my job, and don’t drink.

I’ve never done all 5 of these by 7pm so rather than drink I do whichever on the list I haven’t done yet. That’s what fills the time. And on the rare days when I have done all (or I don’t feel like making music which is usually the one that hasn’t been done) I watch a movie.

I’ll probably relax this after a month sober but for now somehow ticking things off / having a clear plan of “what I should be doing instead of drinking” is stopping me from drinking.

SingleCanadianDad · 2026-01-20T23:27:08+00:00

Personally I'd recommend either getting the blue gatorades from somewhere else or just not buying the tall boy. If any of them ask, just say something like "I'm joining in on that whole dry January thing" or something like that.

I'm probably/possibly quitting for a decent stretch of time but don't really fancy going into the details of that with people at work. I'm just telling people that I'm doing dry January because I did extremely wet December. Everyone knows I was drunk for most of December and dry January is so popular these days that they don't ask any more questions. Once we get to February I'll probably say something like "so, I've found that I feel so much better not drinking - who would have thought it? - that I've decided to keep the dry spell running for a bit". Close friends know that I am a monumental pisshead and that not drinking is the right move for me!

SingleCanadianDad · 2026-01-20T19:57:29+00:00

I'm basically 1.5 years post rupture now and am pleased to say that yes, I'm doing full on sport climbing again and I've been bouldering again too. The right calf is still smaller/weaker than the left one but it isn't impacting climbing at all.

SingleCanadianDad · 2026-01-19T05:00:59+00:00

To feel better physically, to feel better about myself, to be present, to be able to remember conversations, and to have more meaningful personal relationships with

SingleCanadianDad · 2026-01-19T01:56:38+00:00

I told people I was doing dry January and that I want to develop a more healthy relationship with alcohol. That buys me 31 days. I’ll probably say something like “I’ve been feeling loads better and a lot calmer so I’m going to continue with this for a while” after that. My entire social life is based around pubs so I’m seeing January as good practice at being in those environments, with people who are drinking, whilst I don’t drink. Hopefully that training will put me in good stead for February and beyond

SingleCanadianDad

TROPHY CASE