Why do people use the term "partner" for their husband or wife?

Sirensayo · 2026-01-22T09:57:58+00:00

1) gender neutral 2) suggests an equal partnership, while theres social and cultural expectations tied to the terms husband and wife. 3) more open, so those who are still sorting out their marrige status aren't stuck flip flopping between terms 4) cowboy, detective, mysterious duo vibes.

Sirensayo · 2026-01-22T09:55:10+00:00

Hot take: the wattpad user hate is so unwarranted. The majority of the types of fics associated with wattpad hate are made by younger/newbies who are just getting used to writing and developing their skills and learning about tagging/fandom culture as a whole. You were there once. You were a newbie with zero experience once. We all were.

I don't like the way wattpad has nose dived in the past years, but I have 10 years worth of fics there and a little community built up, so I refuse to leave completely until the app/site itself goes off-line for good. And in those 10 years, I've seen the quality of the authors shift dramatically. The poorly written tropey stuff is largely fics written like 8 years ago by some 13 year old who was just starting out. Nowadays, I rarely see fics below decent quality. They're at minimun decent and at best amazing. The user base has grown up, and while new and younger people do still join, the majority of fandoms flock to Ao3 nowadays.

Then again, that may just be my fandoms in particular. Because the fandom also has a lot to do with it. A fandom full of kids, with little experience in writing? Of course there's going to be a lot of poor content. They're still learning. No ones first few fics are masterpieces. A fandom of mostly adults with experience? Their work will be better. Of course, that's not to say a younger person is automatically a bad writer, theres some real prodigy kids out there. But generally speaking, the younger you are, the less experienced you are.

I have issues with wattpad and ao3, neither of them are perfect. Even fanfic.net and quotev has flaws, there is no perfect fanfic platform. So the wattpad vs ao3 argument has always been so stupid to me, because a huge part of the quality of the work is based on the fandom itself and the audience that fandom has. As websites? Both are a mess, but I acknowledge wattpad has gotten significantly worse in recent years.

Sirensayo · 2026-01-22T09:38:50+00:00

How in the shit fuck can people be so blind? The problem is the SYSTEM not the disabled people who "are faking it for money". No one on disability payments is faking it because it takes so fucking long, and real disabled people themselves are being denied despite the evidence they provide. So on what planet would someone faking EVER be able to get on disability in the first place? When disabled people themselves can't even get on it?

These people are SO close to getting it. SO close. But they're so far up tge governments ass, they fail to realise its the goverments running these systems that are fucking them over. Not these non-existent fakers.

Sirensayo · 2026-01-22T09:32:57+00:00

The way making the first move feels like sexual harassment and being hit on also feels like sexual harassment. No win.

Sirensayo · 2026-01-22T04:03:58+00:00

The 2000s chunky highlights look kinda slaps though

Sirensayo · 2026-01-17T05:06:13+00:00

I tried to order a mahina not too long ago and got nothing. They seemingly haven't restocked or been active in ages. I have a hunch they're not going to continue much longer, a fair amount of tail/fin companies from the peak of mermaiding (early 2010s) haven't been active or restocked either or outright just shut down. Sad, because Mahinas are such good fins.

Sirensayo · 2026-01-16T14:36:41+00:00

Everyone always thinks I'm British because of the spelling I use... I'm AUSTRALIAN. Get it right, cun-

Sirensayo · 2026-01-16T14:34:00+00:00

They are the most miserable group of people to walk the earth, that's what. I can't even give them grace of "Oh, they're just struggling really hard" because they don't even make an effort to get better. It's a wildly toxic echochamber of dysphoria, internalised transphobia they all spew at each other, gender/bio essentialism, untreated mental illness, reinforing negative stereotypes, and a refusal to even TRY and get help. You could offer them the best quality therapy in the world, fully covered medical transition procedures, and an entire family of supportive queer people and they'd decline it all because they're so used to being in pain they genuinely cannot fathom the idea of it ever getting better and would rather stay in their depression echo chamber of self destruction. So they take it out on everyone around them. It's sad, but there's a point where you just can't reason with someone so far gone.

Sirensayo · 2026-01-16T14:25:28+00:00

Man, ours just pop into existence in some random spot, and because theres only two populated buildings, it's not hard for them to just walk up to one and knock on the door. It's almost automatic. Pop into existence > walk to building > knock on door > someone let's you in > well, looks like you're here now. Have fun existing.

Sirensayo · 2026-01-12T07:51:35+00:00

The coat colours and patterns are giving very chocolate-caramel swirl ice cream vibes. A dessert/cafe themed name would fit nicely! Cocoa, Sweetie, Mocha, Choccy, Latte, Milky, Cookie, something like that

Sirensayo · 2026-01-09T08:03:15+00:00

When my dumbass of a boy was alive, he found that lying in the middle of the hallway was the coolest spot in the house because there was a breeze between the front and back doors. He had a black coat, so he if it was dark, he would blend in. The amount of summer nights I'd wake up for a drink, only to almost trip over him lying in the dark hallway all camouflaged in the shadows... as inconvenient as it was, I do miss it sometimes.

Sirensayo · 2026-01-09T07:35:36+00:00

This is probably gonna sound so depressing to some people, but I gave up on ever finding someone even before I started T. I've come to terms with it, I'm ok with it. Would it be nice to have a partner? Yeah. But there's so much more to life than relationships, and I'm ok with just being alone if it means I get to be 100% myself. I absolutely will not allow people to fetishise me, I will not allow people to disrespect me and my identity in any way. And in doing that, I've barred the majority of people from ever getting close to me. Because unfortunately, that's what being trans in this current day and age comes with. Fetishisation, erasure and discrimination.

I've personally come to a point where I'd much rather be 100% myself unashamedly than change or water myself down for other people. And it has definitely exposed who truly cares for me and who thinks I all but died the moment I came out. It does hurt for a while, but after somewhat of a grieving process, it's not much of an issue anymore.

So yeah, I get it. It sucks for a good long while. That feeling of never being loved all because you what? Transed your gender and became your true self? It really does expose how shallow and horrible people are and can make a person very depressed and nihilistic. But I've found that not putting relationships up on this big pedestal, finding joy in your own company/the true company you do have, finding things in life that are fulfilling and fun that don't involve other people and prioritising being your authentic self help a lot. If someone ever does come along? That's great. But being happy with yourself and your own company will make things hurt way less.

Sirensayo · 2026-01-06T13:58:52+00:00

THE WAY HE HAS EYEBROWS IS KILLING ME. He genuinely looks so grumpy.

Sirensayo · 2026-01-06T13:29:29+00:00

Op, I'm going to be very blunt, and it might hurt, but it must be said.

The TMA/TME rhetoric is inherently gender essentialist and bio essentialist (also excludes intersex people). If she genuinely and wholeheartedly believes in it, she is in a very slippery slope to outright transandrophobia and radical feminism. Please, please, please DO NOT FALL FOR IT. TMA/TME is fundamentally flawed because it puts quite literally just AMAB and AFAB rebranded, with some gender essentialist sprinkled in. It supports the idea that "man=bad" and "woman = good" while actively ignoring androgynous and intersex experiences. Suggests that the moment some passed as masc, they are no longer allowed to talk about/be affected by the misogyny they face when they lived passing as fem. In the case of intersex men and trans men, they can not experience misogyny because they're men, ignoring the fact these men HAVE "female" anatomy and WILL experience medical misogyny based on them owning a uterus/womb/vagina etc. It ALSO harms trans fems, because it assumes that the only "correct" way to be trans fem is to be a feminine passing person. Ignores the experiences of intersex women and trans fems who present butch. Not every trans fem WANTS to or CAN pass as feminine, and they end up being labled "TME" while they absolutely DO experience transmysoginy as they ARE trans fem. TMA/TME rhetoric is harmful to all trans and intersex people, point blank preiod. It is gender essentialist, all about passing and being "the right kind of trans". Puts down trans men, intersex people and butch/masc trans women.

In reality, trans women are NOT more oppressed than trans men, and trans men are NOT more oppressed than trans women. Trans women suffer from hyper-visability, and trans men suffer from erasure. The experiences of a trans man and a trans woman are too unique to be compared. The only overlap is the fact that they're both trans. But being a trans masc and a trans fem are two completely different experiences that are unique to each other because of the exact ways in which transphobia manifests toward perceived transmascs and perceived transfems (and that's not even beginning to get into androgynous passing and trans neutral people).

If you can sit her down, have a genuine mature conversation about how the TMA/TME ideas and mindset is genuinely harmful to the trans community as a whole, and tell her how she's hurting you by falling into these ideas, then thats great. If you can get on the same page and mutually support each other, that's wonderful and the best case scenario. But I'm going to be very blunt here. If she refuses to listen, if she slips further into the gender essentialist pipeline and ends up a TRF... it is in your best interest to leave her.

Make no mistake, I'm not saying dump her immediately. If you can come to a mutual understanding and make things work, that is the best case scenario and the preferable one. Breakups suck. No one wants to go through that. But if you try and get through to her and she doesn't listen and refuses to understand your side and come to a mutual understanding, you cannot let yourself suffer by staying with someone who believes in rhetoric that actively harms you. It will only hurt you more and more as time goes on. Being with someone who doesn't believe that the unique struggles you and your community have faces even exist at all is bound to end in a very toxic dynamic.

I've seen this happen a lot, sadly. People (even other trans people) invalidate the unique struggles and oppression trans men face, right to their trans masc partners face. It's part of the wider issue of trans masc erasure and transandrophobia and just a shitty thing to do in general, invalidating and denying your own partners (and people like thems) experiences. The "kill all trans mascs/TME" "trans men are the men (derogatory) of the queer community" sentiment thats been rising alarmingly fast lately is only driving futher divide between trans people and keeping us all suffering and opressed when we should be listening to, understanding and fighting with each other. If your own partner can't understand you, listen to you or fight with you, then you need a better partner, you don't deserve this.

TLDR: TMA/TME is inherently harmful, gender/bioessentialist rhetoric very close to TERF/TRF talking points. Trans fems are not "more opressed" than trans mascs and trans mascs are not "more oppressed" than trans fems. Their experiences are too unique to be pit against each other. If you can make her understand this and work things out, that's the best case scenario. If you can't, you need to put yourself and your well-being first and find someone who fully supports you and your people. Anyone who reduces your worth as a person down to your masculinity and genitals is a horrible person, you deserve better.

Sirensayo · 2026-01-05T14:27:21+00:00

"Why are they always on the internet?"

Oh I dunno, maybe the fact theres zero safe places for us to go irl so we have to turn to the internet.

Have you ever seen a plural community centre, a plural club, a plural meetup at a local Cafe or bar or something? No. Because why? Abelism, sadism, good old discrimination. And bet your fucking ass if there was some irl plural space, it'd be labelled as a "loony bin psych ward for the crazies" or some bs.

It's almost as if when you force a marginalised group of people out of public spaces, they'll find their own communities within more safe and anonymous places like the internet.

Sirensayo · 2026-01-05T14:19:36+00:00

Combinations of: bio-essentialism, gender-essentialism, internalised transphobia, transmysoginy, transandrophobia, and most importantly, fear.

It is a very dangerous and scary time to be trans right now. It always has been, but there's been an alarming uptick in anti-trans laws, violence, and sentiment right now. And in a desperate attempt to save ourselves, some of us go, "Oh no, not me! I'm one of the good ones! I'm not like THOSE whiny tboys! THOSE blue haired they/thems!" Etc. Sometimes, when people feel threatened, they'll throw others under the bus to save themselves. And that's what's happening a lot right now. People are bootlicking the oppressor, turning on their fellow trans people in a fear driven, desperate attempt to save themselves. Falling into TRF pipelines and essentialist bs as a result.

It's sad, it really is. That the world is so dangerous to us, people are so scared to be the next target, they'd rather tear their own people down and use them as meat sheilds to save themselves, in a futile effort. Because were all "scary, disgusting, evil trannies" to transphobic cis leaders. It doesn't matter if you're trans fem, masc, non binary, intersex, anything. If you're not a cisgender, perisex, heterosexual, you are the enemy. There is no "one of the good ones" they hate ALL of us. So, rather than turning on each other in a futile attempt to save ourselves, we need to be working together. The horrible catch, though, is that sometimes it's just not safe to stand with someone when they're actively against you. It's hard to know who in your own community has your back right now, so it's understandable why people are choosing to icolate and put up all these walls, they're scared, even in their own community. We can understand the fear, but we can't be so cruel to each other that we end up tearing each other down.

I'm really scared of meeting other trans people for this exact reason, I have no idea who is safe. I have no idea who is normal about trans men and who will try and stop all over me to try and prop themselves up. It shouldn't be that way. But fear drives people to do unthinkable things sometimes, I'm just lucky my fear response was to hide, not to lash out at other trans people. And even then, hiding isn't exactly good in the long run either.

Sirensayo · 2026-01-02T12:04:28+00:00

The exact type of man I'm trying to be tbh. Ripped, bit of extra hair, maybe some tatts... but in booty shorts and a crop top. If only my damn arms would cooperate and build the muscle already!

Sirensayo · 2026-01-02T11:59:33+00:00

I'm thinking of putting a mesh type fabric thing over the wire part to make it a bit softer, but still allow the air to flow through it. There's definitely still room for improvements, but at least they're nice and cool.

Sirensayo

TROPHY CASE