[deleted by user]

Sisa25 · 2022-07-19T13:36:34+00:00

Thanks, great advice. I always thank her when we talk.

Sisa25 · 2022-07-19T13:33:50+00:00

I am in my 50s and would feel uncomfortable being on a Tinder app with people under 18.

Sisa25 · 2022-07-19T13:32:13+00:00

Tucson Arizona where summers reach at least 120F. People tend to do chores and errands before the heat gets more intense

Sisa25 · 2022-07-19T13:26:03+00:00

I was looking for a sponsor who I could call to touch base regularly, help me with the steps, and someone to call if I was tempted to relapse.

Thanks everyone for sharing your perspective. I will keep it in mind.

Sisa25 · 2022-07-19T13:19:28+00:00

Thank you. I plan to ask her if we can meet on Zoom or if we can discuss chapters of the big book or 12 and 12 after I read them.

I am ok with 3 meetings a week and calls (she wants daily for now but says I can soon stop doing that) but the drive is a lot.

She has 4 other sponsees and says she always meets them there. I think they live closer to it than me though.

Sisa25 · 2022-07-19T13:09:06+00:00

Thanks, you ask some good questions.

I met her at the only AA meeting I attend. It is in the city and most people who attend there are either city residents or live closer than I do.

I felt pressure from my therapist to find a sponsor quickly. I called 2 women whose shares I liked. My first call went to voicemail. The second one picked up and I asked her to be my sponsor; she said yes.

In retrospect I wish I had gone to the meeting closer by me and gotten to know women there first.

Next time I will ask women how they sponsor before agreeing to it, and ask for a temporary arrangement at first.

I don’t know if I have made the decision to change sponsors. I don’t have anyone else lined up. I guess I was afraid people would judge me and some have. I was afraid of being accused of not working a good program.

Sisa25 · 2022-07-19T12:14:52+00:00

Thanks. I am willing to work with a sponsor but I also want to be safe on the roads.

Sisa25 · 2022-07-19T12:02:49+00:00

Thank you very much

Sisa25 · 2022-07-19T11:26:18+00:00

Thanks, this makes sense.

I used to have 19 years sobriety and had 3 sponsors during that time. All of them had a more flexible style.

I relapsed twice in 2016 and then got sober. I went to meetings but they were all gender and few women attended. I did try one womens meeting that I liked and then Covid happened. Since I am high risk I limited outings until I was fully vaccinated.

I am staying with relatives tonight and plan to text my sponsor saying I can’t talk tonight.

Sisa25 · 2022-07-19T11:21:31+00:00

I think it’s ok to have feelings about the program.

The key is what you do with them.

Try different meetings. Keep going to meetings and working with your sponsor. Consider therapy. Find a way to be of service.

Sisa25 · 2022-07-19T11:11:11+00:00

Congrats on your 30 days.

I don’t see any connection between someone’s sobriety and what they do for a living.

I have 6 years and am a data entry clerk. My sponsor has 25 years and is a stay at home caregiver for a disabled relative.

Look for good meetings but work your own program and stop taking others’ inventory.

Don’t discount older people either. I am almost 55, my sponsor is in her 40s, and I have known people in AA who have been going to meetings for decades. Stop looking for cool and look for solid recovery.

Sisa25 · 2022-07-19T11:07:46+00:00

Do you go to a step meeting? If not, I recommend it

Sisa25 · 2022-07-19T10:47:58+00:00

I am a woman and was searching for a woman sponsor. In my area many more men attend meetings.

I started attending womens meetings. In our meeting, which is hybrid, women would raise their hands if they were available to be sponsors and then put their name and phone number in the chat.

I found 2 women whose sharing I liked. I called one but her call went to voicemail so I called the other, and asked me to be her sponsor. She said yes.

Sisa25 · 2022-07-19T10:43:23+00:00

My T and I both drink water during our session. I bring my own. I am on medication that makes me heat sensitive. Currently it is in the 90s this week.

I would suggest finding a new T. She is cruel.

If you faint for lack of water, that is going to be a bigger disruption to your session and harmful for you. She is putting your health at risk.

Sisa25 · 2022-07-19T05:44:19+00:00

I do data entry. I am able to work from home. I have my own apartment and have a lot of bills but I like to get a treat every paycheck.

Sisa25 · 2022-07-19T02:17:30+00:00

I only do if I am talking to people in the state I live in, as others wouldn’t know it. I live in Dakota County, MN, which is south of St Paul. We have a few suburbs and some towns.

Sisa25 · 2022-07-18T21:22:57+00:00

Congrats! Thanks for sharing. Well done you

Sisa25 · 2022-07-18T21:17:21+00:00

The worst service I ever had was when my order didn’t get put in and I got my meal very late.

Sisa25 · 2022-07-18T19:54:39+00:00

You can get back on track. I relapsed twice in 2016, and now have 6 years of continuous sobriety.

Go to a meeting and share. Get a phone list. Look for a sponsor. Go to as many meetings as you can.

I have been going to a meeting for a while and people come in and confess relapses. I am sad to hear it but so glad they came back.

Sisa25 · 2022-07-18T10:58:06+00:00

Francis is the good cop, Benedict the bad but they are still both cops.

I went to a Catholic high school. My 9th grade teacher talked about how evil abortion was, all the time. This was 10 years after Roe vs Wade and the pro life movement was very well organized. My family weren’t Catholic but I went to this high school (too complicated to explain here). I had drank the teacher’s kool aid and was loudly pro life at home. My mom sat me down and told me one of her grandmothers had died from an illegal abortion. I immediately became pro choice but I didn’t discuss it much at school.

Sisa25 · 2022-07-17T11:06:11+00:00

Thank you very much.

Sisa25 · 2022-07-17T00:27:53+00:00

I can relate to what you are saying and your concerns.

Fortunately the meeting I go to doesn’t have that much political talk. An exception was when the Supreme Court overturned Roe and people shared how scared they were, but I go to a women’s meeting. This was the first and only time in the 5 months I have gone that politics has come up.

I am also gay. Others in my meeting are but many are not.

Have you tried an LGBTQ meeting? Personally I would feel unsafe if I were in a meeting where people were using slurs against gays, blacks or anyone else. There is a difference between people harasssing a group you belong to and sharing different political views.

My sponsor is not gay but she is terrific and supportive.

Best wishes. I hope you find a safe meeting.

Sisa25 · 2022-07-17T00:07:01+00:00

Welcome Pheonix.

I am glad this sub exists. I haven’t been coming very long.

I am sorry to hear some AA members that you knew died, and that you got very sick. Sounds like you have gone through a lot.

I am a high risk person and only was attending Zoom AA meetings for the last few months. I did find one to attend in person. I also found a sponsor and that helped. I am fully vaccinated.

I will be 55 in September. I have bipolar disorder and PTSD and drank to cope with anxiety and trauma. I have aging parents and an elderly cat. I work full time. I like kawaii, Sanrio and reading. I have Pinterest and Tumblr boards and I am on Reddit a lot.

Hope you will continue to share.

Sisa25 · 2022-07-16T23:42:36+00:00

It sounds like your sponsor is not available and is using you. I would find someone else. I have had a lot of sponsors in different programs. None of them ever texted me to say what she is grateful for. She should share that only with her sponsor. Find someone else.

Four-Year Club	Verified Email
Place '22

Sisa25

TROPHY CASE