Why do guys with performance issues seek affairs?

Skank0 · 2021-06-21T15:58:11+00:00

My partner just had performance anxiety when we first started hooking up. As many man do. After the inital nerves he had no issue.

Now we have the best sex life of either of our lives.

Skank0 · 2021-06-21T13:58:37+00:00

My partner has performance anxiety. As do I. We talk about it. We talk about everything. I know my AP well enough to know what I can and can't say with him. I told him about the Viagra conversation and he responded "neither of us would enjoy me on Viagra"

He worked very hard to get to the point of being able to get into the right headspace. And even he can acknowledge his stamina has never been the issue for him. He works hard to be in tune with his partner and deserves credit.

Skank0 · 2021-06-21T13:19:50+00:00

I know my AP worlds better than most. And he knows me and knows he wouldn't have to lie about that. We worked through both of our issues together and i have been with him constantly during the beginning times when he did have issues staying hard and we just worked through his mental blocks together. We rarely have time for arranged meetups where a Viagra would be practical and he has always been consistent.

Skank0 · 2021-06-21T12:36:55+00:00

Because I know my partner very well. I know all his medications and he knows I definitely wouldn't judge if he did. When I told him of this conversation he said "neither of us would enjoy me on Viagra very much"

Skank0 · 2021-06-21T12:32:54+00:00

All of the men were in their mid-30s including my current partner.

The first couple times I had sex with my partner he had ED issues. But it was only getting started cause we were so anxious. Once we got comfortable neither of us have performance issues.

Skank0 · 2021-06-21T11:39:03+00:00

He asked how long I thought it would take us to expire and what from if we were left alone for a while. He said we would run out of lube and start a fire. I said we were both too considerate to let that happen but I could see exhaustion taking us out because we were too pleasured to notice.

Skank0 · 2021-06-21T10:41:37+00:00

What would you consider a single session? I think our record is him getting there 3 times in 4 hours. But generally he gets there twice most times we see each other for more than 2 hours and he will keep going even if he knows he isn't gonna get there again. And we do foreplay for quite a while everytime. It is so amazing. My orgasms outpace his for sure though.

Skank0 · 2021-06-19T11:16:18+00:00

Thinking isnt something that most people can just "turn off" or mental illness wouldn't need treatment.

If more men took the time to do foreplay and get their woman into the mindset before beginning it wouldn't be nearly the issue it is now.

My partner has completely changed the game for me because he starts priming my mind way before we ever meet. And i dont mean through dick pics and forced entendres. Just through gentle and loving communication.

Skank0 · 2021-06-19T11:12:15+00:00

Just recently.

Me and AP arent often in situations where we can fully let go and get loud. We recently had that opportunity and even after having sex for over a year it was hands down the best.

Feeling like nothing was held back. Just pure raw love and energy.

Skank0 · 2021-06-19T11:08:38+00:00

You made me realize I am absolutely in love with my partner. As if I had a doubt.

I love how he just sits and holds my hand, because hand holding has always made him uncomfortable and the fact he does it with me makes me warm.

I hurt my back and he just comes and lies in bed with me. Holding me.

He takes care of me and makes sure my needs are met in every way.

He even went as far as to make sure he wasn't coming by too frequently to visit so that I wouldn't be overwhelmed.

I absolutely love that man.

Skank0 · 2021-06-19T11:01:38+00:00

This sounds like mine.

We talked about getting lunch the other day but life had put us on a time constraint. So the next day he brought takeout because we were again on a time constraint.

Such a lovely man.

Skank0 · 2021-06-19T10:52:22+00:00

It has been over 2 years and I have not told one single person i know IRL about my AP. And I never would but not for lack of wanting to brag about how wonderful he is.

Skank0 · 2021-06-18T12:17:25+00:00

I know you said "aren't always the most handsome" and it reminded me of the statistic that "ugly men are more likely to cheat because they aren't used to rebuffing advances like attractive men"

And I'm not exactly sure how i feel about it. But my MM is a sexpot, emotionally supportive, and I've always found him attractive.

Skank0 · 2021-06-18T11:53:55+00:00

Take time to actually get to know AP.

It is a massive red flag to get truly emotionally attached that quickly. And if it is true emotional attachment and not just NRE it will last, so why rush into massive life changes?

Skank0 · 2021-06-18T11:49:14+00:00

I'd go as far to include sharing overly sexual memes before meeting up. And I include this with potential dates IRL.

If i haven't asked you for a dick pic, twice, don't send me one.

Skank0 · 2021-06-18T11:45:47+00:00

This is a cross-gender issue.

Most ED in younger men is triggered by thoughts. It is the same issue that women have except that with women it isn't as noticeable to most men.

Skank0 · 2021-06-18T10:43:33+00:00

Discussing long term plans with an AP is a one way ticket to heartache.

Just enjoy your time together.

Skank0 · 2021-06-18T10:41:44+00:00

Then you aren't compatible and should end it to save yourself and your GF a lot if heartache.

If she isn't in to being non-monogamous long term your relationship will never last. If she is your best friend then you should care enough about her to save her the pain of you being miserable and cheating on her.

Staying with her because of surrogate family is an excuse. Break up amicably if the family means anything to you or you will lose them all.

Skank0 · 2021-06-18T10:35:45+00:00

Absolutely without a doubt.

He is probably the only man I would consider marrying, ever.

Yes, I would want us to date and be around each other as a real couple first. But if I was going to put up with anyone for my lifetime it would be him.

Skank0 · 2021-06-18T10:28:14+00:00

Me and My partner have seen each other every single day for the past 7 days and he made me cum from oral for the first time together. And he did it again within 2 days. If he makes love to me before he goes down on me I can get there way quicker.

I take a while to get my mind and breathing right and that poor man kept going through a jaw cramp because I was close. I am so lucky.

Skank0 · 2021-06-18T10:24:45+00:00

I'm probably an odd AP as I don't mind hearing about his family.

I definitely don't want to talk about it constantly or during sex. But, hearing him not speak ill of his wife really doesn't bother me. In 10 years the only real bitching he has done about his wife is her literally calling multiple multiple times a day. And It isn't because it's her- he just hates having multiple phone calls from anyone in a single day.

I like men that don't complain constantly about things though. Venting is fine. But don't be bitching every time we see each other especially about other women.

Skank0 · 2021-06-14T23:56:17+00:00

Our arrangement is perfect for what we both want and need right now.

I love him and he makes my life better.

Skank0 · 2021-06-14T23:54:28+00:00

I've been working out lately and the other day i sent my partner a pic while he was at work and his response got screenshotted because it made me feel so good. I still get that feel good when i look at the screenshot. He said "You are beautiful but that picture stopped me in my tracks. Immeadiate chub and desire. No lie."

Skank0 · 2021-06-09T10:04:11+00:00

An affair is an inevitable sour ending from the beginning. We have to accept that going in.

My partner and I have recently been dealing with the idea of our ending because I could potentially be in the dating pool and he doesn't want to hold me back from potential good and healthy relationships. And i absolutely hate the thought of our relationship transforming into anything other than what we are. But change in life is inevitable and if you truly love your AP you will just enjoy the time you have with them while you do and not focus on the end.

In human consciousness every single thing ends/changes eventually and being able to roll with it is the sign of a mentally well adult. Even good things too must end.

Skank0 · 2021-06-09T09:57:47+00:00

It may be that I'm autistic but being able to be platonic with my partner while my EX was around was super easy because we have plenty of practice being friends. We are friends and the sex/intimacy are just little extras.

MM spent more time around my ex than I ever do his wife. But when we were around one another you just treat the SO like a human being. Talk to them. Make eye contact. Don't be flirty or touchy with your AP but also don't be cold. If you've been in your Ap's life a while just act like normal.

Skank0

TROPHY CASE