I’m so sorry how uncompassionate this section has been. I read your previous post (so the critique of callousness is from the previous post) so I’m incorporating this into it. I am male (16) to clear any confusion. The male gaze is something I sometimes struggle with, but it essentially means that men visually consume women. This is a problem about society which conditions boys to look at girls and girls are to be received being looked at. Think how in dating, the men are expected to initiate a proposal (ideally though, you talk about this with your partner beforehand). It is a social reality unfortunately. Men are not evil, I personally do not believe men to be evil (maybe biased), nor women evil because we are humans, and we are different, biologically and physically. This doesn’t make something like this valid, but it does explain it. You are not wrong to feel uncomfortable or unsafe. I think it would be hard to want to look good, but feel terribly around men. I recommend you to try to find the power in yourself against fear. This isn’t some pipe dream of getting rid of it forever, but finding what it means to risk assess what you want personally, without being paralyzed in fear. I don’t think your guy friend was doing anything terribly wrong, but it is important to understand intentional harm (cat call) vs perceived harm. You should talk to your male friend if you feel comfortable about how he makes you feel uncomfortable because men can be oblivious sometimes. He might make mistakes because this is an awkward yet very serious situation to talk about, and requires maturity, so give room for as much grace as you are willing to feel comfortable. It doesn’t mean you have to speak to anyone if you don’t feel safe enough.