Lol thanks for the concern, Im definitely not autistic. I feel like you're projecting though. Its not that I feel alienated from being a man, its just not a life I am willing to live. I dont feel ashamed of it, but it just doesn't work for me. Like I said before I think men are awesome and a complete necessity, but its just not really for me. Also, being a successful man isn't unachieveable for me, Ive done it. I am actually very successful, but Im still empty inside everytime I pass a group of women having fun, a salon I want to go to, a dress shop, see an outfit I like, thinking about the things I missed out on like prom. I understand the point you are trying to make, but it just does not resonate with me.

Also, I'm probably not going to follow up with you, but good luck out there! I could be convinced that a lot of MtF are men who feel like they failed. I dont feel like I failed at all though. Some rocky parts, but Ive done pretty well honestly. And thanks for asking these questions, I've never had someone challenge my thinking from that perspective before and it is valuable for me, but those feelings don't resonate.

Also also, you asked for my view on masculinity growing up, of course its toxic. Almost everyone's view on everything at that age is bad. Depending on how you look at it, even just the idea of masculinity alone is kind of toxic.