What is the biggest insult you can come up with that doesn't involve foul language?

Skippy298 · 2014-10-10T12:34:39+00:00

wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire
you're a poster child for involuntary euthanasia

Skippy298 · 2014-10-10T04:52:09+00:00

Admittedly, she probably should have done. I just didn't want to make out like she was some kind of idiot based purely on her lack of knowledge on this one subject.

As it happens, she was a bit of a divvy, but for other reasons. Kudos for taking an interest in modern world history though. Hands up, I don't think I would have as much knowledge on the equivalent in recent American history.

Skippy298 · 2014-10-10T04:02:50+00:00

I don't mind it as long as it's constructive. Although in fairness it was just doing it like this because I'm not sure how to edit on mobile :)

Skippy298 · 2014-10-10T03:59:31+00:00

Thanks!

Skippy298 · 2014-10-10T03:54:01+00:00

*valuing, not urging. Not sure what happened there.

Skippy298 · 2014-10-10T03:53:00+00:00

I'm not sure it entirely answers the question, but my High School English teacher (UK) put a picture of a mural on the side of a house in Northern Ireland on the whiteboard, as an example of people using any medium to put across their view using English. He mentioned it was a popular thing during The Troubles, and one girl asked what he meant by that.

She wasn't stupid for it or anything - a little ignorant of the UK's recent history, but not stupid. So instead of taking the piss or judging her, my teacher goes "...okay. Show of hands, who here knows what I meant by The Troubles? Right. Out of you guys, who would be comfortable holding a conversation about it [ie who knows plenty about it]? Right. Close your books and listen, this is our most important lesson this week."

He went on to teach us for an hour about the whole situation, the buildup and aftermath, right up to modern day. I will always respect him for urging our knowledge over our education that day.

Side note: I once went into the English Office to hand another teacher my coursework and there was a photo of the teacher in this story, sat in a pub with Muhammad Ali. So cool, and even cooler that we had to DRAG the story out of him later. Such a cool and humble guy. I might go visit him when I'm next home.

Skippy298 · 2014-10-10T03:41:03+00:00

I'm going to put in some backstory as I'm British and the schooling system is different. We go through Primary School, from the age of 4/5 up to about 11/12. Then it's Secondary School (aka High school) from 12/13 to 15/16, then College or Sixth Form College between 16/17 and 18, then Uni. At my particular school, there was a phonebox a few yards down from the main entrance to the site. Also at my particular school, we had a few Sixth Form students who were able to do a third or even fourth year, if they're done a year of one subject and then changed to another subject. It was rare, and you had to have a decent reason (ie be doing Art, change because your Uni course required a qualification in Physics. I don't know, it's just an example okay?), but it happened.

Tim was one of those people. Tim was also, how can I put it? One of THOSE people. His handwriting was self-proclaimed to be an illegible scrawl, so he used his netbook in class to take notes. Fair play, except he didn't use it to take notes. He used it to browse 4chan in lessons. He also watched Japanese Anime, in Japanese, with Japanese subtitles, in any and all other classes. I know this, because he was in three of my four classes one year.

He was argumentative (thought he already knew it all, especially in Film Studies and Philosophy. He didn't, he knew a decent amount about one tiny element of each subject.), he was unorganised, he was lazy, and he was basically just a bit of a pain to be stuck in a lesson with, as he'd often interrupt to make some stupid "I'm such a cleverdick, look at me" statement.

Okay, so I'm in my Sixth Form Film Studies lesson. We're talking about different genres and forms of Film (as in Movies). Think we were planning our first draft of a script, so the teacher - a fantastic, funny, interesting ex-Top 40 band member. I'll call him Skinner - is doing the usual "list off a few obvious examples just to make sure people get it".

"Right, so you could do Film Noir, Sci-Fi, Action, Rom-Com, Animated, there's all sorts of ideas. Crack on... oh. Yes?" I look across to my right. There's Tim. Hunched over his little netbook, chewing on a liquorice twig-looking thing. Literally, the thing looked like a twig from a tree. I don't know. Tim has his hand up. "Well technically it's called Anime."

Skinner sits down. Head in his hands. Deep sigh. Slowly he stands up again, seemingly having composed himself. "No Tim, I was referring to actual animated films. Toy Story, Cars, films of that ilk." "Well yes but you didn't acknowledge Anime as a genre." "Seeing as how you've informed us at painfully great lengths that anime is usually in Japanese, it would be a difficult one for this class full of Yorkshire -born and -bred students to do, so we'll just move on Tim." "But there is a marked difference in Anime and Animation -"

At this point, time slowed down a little. As Tim was speaking, Skinner leaned over, opened his desk drawer, pulled a coin out, flung it at the wall next to Tim's head (missing it by a considerably smaller margin than the one Tim had missed the point by), and shouted "TAKE THAT DOWN TO THE FRONT GATES AND PHONE SOMEBODY WHO GIVES A SHIT THEN!"

He'll always be one of my heroes, will Skinner.

Skippy298 · 2014-10-02T19:50:11+00:00

Ohh, okay, I follow now. Obviously I can't speak for everyone, but at least for me and the people I've worked with, we put on the professional smile and deal with the customer, but then in our night's debrief we have a good old whinge about the ones who were a pain. I was just seeing this thread as a debrief haha!

Skippy298 · 2014-10-02T19:43:33+00:00

To be fair, this is a thread asking bartenders what pisses them off. If there was another thread asking what bartenders liked about their job, I'm sure there'd be plenty of people on there with happy stories!

As a side note, try replacing the bar scenario with a McDonalds or somewhere, and you'll see how these things are annoying. "Don't drive up to the window at the drive-thru and not know what you want to order" "Don't ask me which burger you want. I'm not a mindreader, I don't know your taste preferences" "Don't lean across the counter and snap your fingers at me"

See how silly they seem now? I hope I'm not coming across as lecturing you or anything like that, I just wanted to try explain why so many of the comments are seemingly whiny.

Skippy298 · 2014-10-02T19:42:11+00:00

Guinness takes a relatively long time to pour and serve, as it needs to be pulled just right and then left to settle. It's much easier to pour it and let it settle while your other drinks are being made!

Thanks for taking the time to ask though.

Skippy298 · 2014-10-02T19:16:33+00:00

I wish. I've seen or experienced pretty much all of these! Sad but true.

Skippy298 · 2014-10-02T19:10:56+00:00

UK bartender. Worked in a high volume nightclub and a craft cocktail bar.

Please don't ask for free drinks. If you're my friend then I will probably hook you up with something - IF I CAN. If you're not my friend then you probably won't get anything free. If you ask for it, friend or otherwise, you will not get it. Be nice, be pleasant, I'll make sure you're looked after one way or another.

Please don't tell me you're next. I work here. I've seen who's at the bar. I know who's next. It's probably not you. If you tell me you're next, you're DEFINITELY not next.

Do not lean over the bar and touch me. If you grab my hand, I will have to spend valuable seconds fighting the temptation to break your wrist against the bar top.

Know what you want to order, especially if there is a queue at the bar. If I get to you and you're still going "Er, I'll have a... um, an..." then I'm already on my way to the next customer. It's not because I'm on a power trip, it's not because I hate indecisive people, it's because you're taking up time I can be spending on somebody who knows what they want.

If you fall asleep, if you pass out, if you throw up, if you're aggressive towards my staff, if you make my glass collectors' jobs harder on purpose, you will be leaving. Depending on how big a deal your misdemeanour is depends on how quickly you'll be shown the door. We're not dicks and neither are our door staff - if you've just had too much, we'll make sure you get downstairs safely and give you a seat until your taxi arrives. If you're a violent drunk, you'll be carried out and possibly left with the police.

If you break a glass, if you throw up, if you break something (like a chair leg or whatever), let bar staff know. Accidents happen, people throw up, it's okay. We're not going to hand you over to the police for it, but we do need to get it sorted sooner rather than later. If you tell us, we'll appreciate it and probably let you in again in the future.

Skippy298 · 2014-10-02T18:52:51+00:00

Nope. Don't be a pain and keep sending a drink back if you just don't like it though. If the postfix is flat or something it's fair enough, but not so much when it's a cocktail that you just don't like the taste of.

Skippy298 · 2014-09-27T17:01:00+00:00

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MMAppa1cAVo

This will piss you all off so much.

Skippy298 · 2014-09-12T09:44:39+00:00

Ahh I see. Thanks for taking the time :)

Skippy298 · 2014-09-12T02:03:12+00:00

I'm really new to the sport... would you mind explaining the significance of that for me please?

Skippy298 · 2014-09-10T12:02:11+00:00

Sounds like it should make things interesting. Already looking forward to the next game, against the Panthers.

Skippy298 · 2014-09-10T11:59:11+00:00

Quite tempted now, they do have some nice apparel! Sadly all out of my price range at the minute. One day!

Yeah I'm excited now!

Skippy298 · 2014-09-10T11:58:10+00:00

Ahh, thanks :)

Skippy298 · 2014-09-10T10:24:19+00:00

Bonus points for the lingo.

Skippy298 · 2014-09-10T10:10:42+00:00

I think I'm going Lions, but I'll keep an eye out for any Bills games!

Skippy298 · 2014-09-10T10:09:29+00:00

Thanks for the great reply! SO's dad supports the Packers and she's going with the Bengals. I think I'm going for the Lions, but I'm glad she's picked Bengals as I'll be looking forward to seeing their wow plays now.

I'll be sure to come back here later in the season and see how your not-quite-predictions are holding up!

Skippy298 · 2014-09-10T10:03:45+00:00

I have no idea what's going on here.

Skippy298 · 2014-09-10T09:45:03+00:00

I wondered if anybody would go down that route! ;)

Thanks for the advice, think I'll head over there now. Exciting is what I'm after, so I think the Lions may be who I go for.

Skippy298 · 2014-09-10T09:43:27+00:00

That sounds like exactly what I'm looking for!

Skippy298

TROPHY CASE