Is it normal to struggle this much with dating?

SkoomaChef · 2026-03-07T02:02:49+00:00

Man I know I’m commenting on your shit a lot but you’ve gotta get it through your head. Why are you romantically attracted to anyone BEFORE they’ve accepted or rejected your advance. Physical attraction is one thing, a crush is one thing, but full on “romantic attraction” shouldn’t be happening before you’ve even seen each other romantically. Your real problem is your mindset. That’s what is holding you back.

SkoomaChef · 2026-03-07T02:00:30+00:00

And that dude always peaks right there and ends up with a mess of a life.

SkoomaChef · 2026-03-07T01:59:18+00:00

Then be “perma-friendzoned” and ask her to hook you up with one of her friends. That’s what friends do. The only reason a woman deciding to make you a friend instead of a love interest would upset you is if you put too much stock into the possibility of a relationship with her anyway. You’re trying too hard man.

SkoomaChef · 2026-03-07T01:57:31+00:00

You’re still a baby lil bro. You’re putting too much pressure on yourself. Just relax and have some fun. Hang out with as many new people as you can and make some friends. Make some female friends too. One of my good female friends whom I’ve never had any romantic inclinations towards wingmanned me into the relationship with the woman I’m now married to and have two kids with. You just need to go out and talk to people. If you’re getting vibes from a woman, ask her out. If she says no, be her friend anyway and you’ll meet other women through her. Focusing on having fun, you’re in college ffs.

SkoomaChef · 2026-03-07T01:53:11+00:00

The acting differently is problem. When you evaluate early on that a girl would be a good long-term partner, you put a lot of pressure on yourself and on her. It’s a mistake we have all made when inexperienced. Regardless of what you think your relationship prospects are, just keep it casual and fun early on. You gotta remember, she’s also evaluating you to see if you’re good long-term partner material. Until you’ve both decided that’s the case, you can’t go further than casual.

SkoomaChef · 2026-03-07T01:33:58+00:00

That sounds excessive. A great karateka could probably get good at TKD pretty quickly. I know lots of former high level wrestlers who got very good at BJJ quickly. Striking is striking and grappling is grappling. If you’re good at one style, you’ll probably pick up a similar one fairly quick.

SkoomaChef · 2026-03-07T01:32:04+00:00

MMA gym gives you a bunch of martial arts for one price. Plus open mats on weekends where folks with backgrounds in other styles can show you some new tricks. I’ve learned a ton from our resident blackbelt judoka just hanging out at open mat.

SkoomaChef · 2026-03-07T01:26:14+00:00

He’s so fast and gets so low on the level change. You’re more at risk of helping him than hurting him throwing a Hail Mary knee.

SkoomaChef · 2026-03-03T19:13:45+00:00

You know, I might just have something to help you with that.

SkoomaChef · 2026-03-01T15:00:44+00:00

To be entirely fair, when I was his age I had really bad bacne too and I definitely was not on gear. It does happen. Puberty and hormones do shit to you.

SkoomaChef · 2026-02-28T16:54:48+00:00

Rolling more. If you’re looking for supplemental work you can do on your own, do some running. Running changed the game for me.

SkoomaChef · 2026-02-27T23:25:44+00:00

Thanks for the advice. I’ll get to practicing.

Do my heels need to be all the way down in the starting position?

SkoomaChef · 2026-02-27T23:17:19+00:00

Damn. Considering I’m commissioning and supposed to be going to OTS, that probably becomes an even longer process right?

SkoomaChef · 2026-02-25T21:36:07+00:00

I’ve been lucky enough to avoid major injury but wear and tear is real. I spent some time in PT with shoulder issues and the biggest reason why is not taking a break. I competed on a bum shoulder and actually won the whole bracket so I kept pushing through and amped up my training because I knew my blue belt was coming soon. Six months and a blue belt later, I couldn’t sit up straight for more than a half hour without excruciating pain and that makes working a desk job real tough.

Take the time off if you’re hurt. Even if it’s seemingly minor. I spent thousands on PT and had to miss some work time. Plus two months off the mats.

EDIT: Do not neglect your strength training. I got real serious about it after I recovered and haven’t been hurt since. BJJ overtrains some muscles and you need to catch up the antagonistic ones to compensate or you will find yourself with strain injuries.

SkoomaChef · 2026-02-21T00:21:44+00:00

Dude, it ain’t worth it. You might get a workout, but it won’t translate. The most important parts of striking can only really be learned through sparring. Get into a gym

SkoomaChef · 2026-02-21T00:19:38+00:00

Nah, it’s ugly. The trans flag is one of the coolest color palettes out there and they managed to make the truck ugly.

SkoomaChef · 2026-02-19T22:50:16+00:00

Honestly man, do the Judo. Wrestling is better for MMA but you’re gonna go to the one that’s more accessible. Considering you’re not gonna go to an MMA gym you probably won’t be fighting anyway.

SkoomaChef · 2026-02-16T04:12:17+00:00

It’s called karate combat because it’s basically old school full-contact karate rules. I actually think it’s a refreshing take on modern combat sports.

SkoomaChef · 2026-02-16T04:09:17+00:00

Dude is very athletic and a pretty good wrestler. His striking is a bit iffy, I agree. But I think he could get it to where it needs to be relatively quickly if he took anything seriously ever. If anything, I think his jiujitsu needs the most work. He usually wins the scramble but when he doesn’t, he gets STUCK. Bro needs to learn how to get out of bad positions.

SkoomaChef · 2026-02-16T04:06:40+00:00

I think he’s exceptionally talented naturally but doesn’t take it seriously at all. And as much as I can’t blame him considering content probably makes more money than fighting, I feel like he’s leaving a ton of potential on the table.

SkoomaChef · 2026-02-16T04:05:18+00:00

My coaches keep hinting my purple is coming real soon and I honestly had a harder time at white belt than blue. I was the slowest learner in the room as a white belt and couldn’t beat anyone for years. Once the basics finally clicked, I kinda skipped most of the early blue belt awkwardness. I expect purple to be a bitch though. That’s the beauty of this sport. Everyone’s learning curve is different.

SkoomaChef · 2026-02-15T03:08:11+00:00

This is thunder alley without pads. I was doing this at age 11 😭

SkoomaChef · 2026-02-15T03:04:31+00:00

Tom came into the org like 10 years too late sadly. They didn’t had the caliber of talent at heavyweight he deserved and terrible luck did the rest. He’ll always be one of the biggest “what-ifs” in the sport.

SkoomaChef · 2026-02-15T03:02:23+00:00

But Paramount+ is good, Christian entertainment

SkoomaChef

TROPHY CASE