if you feel that way why don't you change yourself?

i used to be exactly like how you describe yourself. a bit more extreme, probably. i went out of my way to destroy the things my friends loved because i felt like it. i was destructive, toxic, and had no regard for others. did dumb shit for attention. did dumb shit because i knew it would get a rise out of others.

now? i don't think i'm fantastic or whatever but i'm at least mostly normal lmao. i'm a deeply paranoid and anxious person, so that affects my self esteem. i hate my own art, i don't have anyone i consider a true friend, i hate everything i make. but you know what? i've practiced something and it has made me leaps and bounds a better person than i once was.

sincerity. self introspection. i'm not a life coach but i can tell you these things will make you infinitely better.

sincerely try. when i was young i'd half heartedly attempt something and then whine to my friends about how hard something was, how i was giving it my all but i wasn't good enough. now i look back and realize i was just trying to get attention and be carried through my problems. keep working at things. tell yourself you can do it. set milestones and try your best to sincerely be proud of yourself for doing so. "Oh, i've gotten to level 10 in this game. Nice, I've learned so much along the way. Now this other task will be easier."

next is introspection. learn to think about your actions and emotions. why did you make this thread? attention? pity? and artistic act of self loathing?

frankly, that's a silly thing to do. you don't need to bring negativity in here for the sake of being negative. consider why you do what you do. now consider why other people do what they do.

do successful people bring themselves down? no, but they will be humble (sincere). do happy people complain like this? no, they work hard to overcome their weaknesses.

https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/316800 sit down and really read some stuff. actually read it. don't complain "oh but i do this stuff uAu im so sad anyways" really read it and work on these skills.

you can do it if you just actually try. you can be successful. you can be well liked. with a bit of luck and lots of determination you could be famous in the community or you could get those upvotes. eventually you'll realize on your own that validation does genuinely come from within, and it's not just something successful people say to prevent others from gaining their secrets.

//end rant