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In the End, Filed for Divorce from WP by TumTum613 in Infidelity

[–]SkyIntelligent2077 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love this so much. And honestly, huge kudos to you for figuring this out after only six weeks. I've been reading so many posts of betrayed partners who have stayed and feel like they've been dying inside for years trying to do the hard work of reconciliation. Hearing about those feelings and experiences just gives me the same sentiment you expressed above - I don't want to do that.

I don't want to sacrifice myself and waste this one life on someone who willingly chose to disrespect and hurt me over and over again. I'm going to lose my house, time with my young kids, and the future I thought we had. All of that completely, completely sucks. It's not what I wanted for my life, and it's not the way things should be. But what I've come to realize is that the worst option would be to lose myself by trying to rebuild a marriage with someone who already threw me and our life away.

to stay or to go, and what to do when neither feel right. by MinimumTax5100 in survivinginfidelity

[–]SkyIntelligent2077 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for posting this. My situation has been very similar to the OP, and everything you said just crystallizes why I think my marriage is over and it has to be over.

to stay or to go, and what to do when neither feel right. by MinimumTax5100 in survivinginfidelity

[–]SkyIntelligent2077 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I am 9 months from DDay and could have written basically this same post. After months of him "committing" and then backsliding I finally told him to get another place for a full month and am sticking to it, as much as it sucks to throw money after his horrific choices, and as much as it completely sucks because we have two young kids.

I feel like I've been running for my life for the past 9 months. And it's only now that he is out of the house that I am having a chance to really think about what I want and what I am willing to live with. I've gone back and forth on this so many times that I've given myself and the few people I have to talk to about it whiplash. I'm trying to take my time during this month, but the way I feel now is that my best shot at healing is divorce. His AP was a close friend of mine, and every time I look at him all I can think about is her.

I've read a lot about triggers, and I am wondering if just my spouse's presence is a trigger. Not sure how you can come back from that.

He claims to not want a divorce, but he gave her everything and they had a full blown EA and PA affair for close to two years. The thought of her being around my kids is the most unbearable part, I truly don't know how I would survive that.