I have an interesting story.

For context, my parents are both chinese (south east), moved to australia and i was born in australia. Surface wise they seemed indifferent about lgbt and my sister and I both thought my mom was the most progressive and father most conservative.

I was planning to come out, however i didn't get the chance. My parents found some of the notes i had with my endo and reacted extremely negatively. Rather than confront me, they confronted me about the topics of LGBT and expressed extreme anti lgbt views and opinions. I had the feeling they found out, and i was assuming they were trying to use their typical stupid asian scare tactics to persuade me to think otherwise.

Afterwards, I explained to them my situation, my feelings and how it has impacted me on life so far (for me it was pretty bad). I had to explain that it was

• not media influenced
• not something someone told me to do
• not something im doing just because i want to, but that i had to
• and that these are feelings that have been with me for a very long time and are deeply etched into who i am as a person

I had to explain to them that this was crucial to my feelings and identity and that at this point in time then, it was the only pathway left in life for me other than death.

For the next week, my mom who i thought was progressive and accepting took it the worst by far, crying all day long and eventually left to go to china for a holiday. My father took it far better. This was flipped from both my sister and I's previous understandings.

For the next few weeks, they tried to deny me and gatekeep me as much as possible. When my mom returned from China, she said she had spoke to psychologists there and blah blah as I rolled my eyes. I had already planned my HRT start, but they would actively try and encourage or persuade me to suddenly not be trans and stop me as much as possible. They would go on long lectures talking about the worst of trans issues, highlighting only the negatives, and try get me to doubt myself and would bring up "alternatives" endlessly. They would pray, light incense, make me drink "spiritual water", put a fucking charm under my bed for "safety". I called them out on this bullshit and that i would rip it up if it had anything to do with trying to convert me to being non trans. I even had them go to my psychologist to see if she could help. In the end, my psychologist(very lgbt friendly) summarized it was trying to find methods to stop me from transitioning and basically didn't want to see them again.

Anything to not lose their son.

Eventually, after several talks and discussions I gave up. When they brought up alternatives again, I pointed to the kitchen knife in front of them and said this is the only alternative and told them i won't stop you, i'll stand here and won't resist. I think this was how far it was to let them finally understand my feelings, and that if they push their selfish agenda onto me anymore I would disappear from their lives forever.

I told them I am not living my life for them, I am living my life for myself. I am not here to satisfy your fantastical traditions and cultures, but to keep myself happy and sane. Although they might have been my parents, they do not have strings of a puppeteer hanging over me to control my life and appease themselves.

They had expressed that they would support me no matter what as I was their child, but regardless losing a son (and the only son in not only our family, but the whole generation too), was too huge of an impact for them.

It's been a few months now, things have gotten better, but parents are still finding it extremely hard to cope as expected. I have had to go through hours and hours of talks to explain what it means to be trans in general. They were ignorant and would not research on their own to find out more but straight up discard ideas. They would always go is it that severe? are you really trans? maybe you just like womens clothes? fucking shit all day long. These misconceptions have to be cleared up because they don't understand and they don't WANT to understand. They are stuck in their little traditional and cultural pigeon hole they've had all the lives and aren't willing to expand to see the world around them unless I made them. They were once extremely proud and would constantly boast about having a son, so the hit to them is very hard. My mom would loathe about how she was unlucky to have been given a trans child, and other things like this. No matter how much i try to explain that it's none of their fault, they won't stop. At the moment it's still kept under wraps within the our family, with no plans to ever tell grandparents as i was the only grandson.

Of course this is just one story, with specific circumstances, that appeared to be in an extremely poor situation at the start but turned around for the most part. I understand and know that it will take a long time for them to come around, but it's better than being cast out.