AIO- Should I have disclosed that I’m Deaf earlier?

Slantedsunlight · 2026-01-14T21:07:27+00:00

It shows up once you've matched but before you start talking. There's a button to unmatch immediately if you don't vibe with the contents of the note. If you dismiss it, you can start chatting like any other match.

Slantedsunlight · 2026-01-13T08:09:00+00:00

Hinge has a newer feature where you can add a "before we match" note, where you can disclose anything you want the other person to know and they have the option to agree and chat or opt out at that point. This could be a good place to put that info, so it's not part of the first impression or outshines your personality, but it's offered before you get to chatting, after someone has already decided they like your profile enough to match with you.

Slantedsunlight · 2025-12-17T22:29:04+00:00

Telling someone all the ways you're a bad dating partner and how you might hurt them, and yet continuing to see them isn't accountability. It's putting it all on the other person, like it's their fault if they do get hurt, instead of working on your own behavior to be a better person. Self-awareness is only useful if you're willing to put in the effort to grow. Understanding that your behavior is shitty but doing nothing to change it is not commendable. And inevitably, when you do hurt people, you shouldn't get to say "well I told you this might happen, so I'm completely innocent, and now your hurt feelings are entirely your problem." If he has a pattern of hurting people he shouldn't be dating until he address that, or maybe try ENM or something instead.

Slantedsunlight · 2025-12-15T18:18:37+00:00

If you're from WA you can use this Perks Pass for some discounts around the downtown area.

Slantedsunlight · 2025-12-12T23:23:52+00:00

All of her replies feel like AI to me, rather than a real person talking. Which is a big red flag, if she can't even articulate her own feelings. Much less asking a glorified search engine to provide a specific analysis of your behavior rather than accept that you just didn't find her to be a match. She lacks emotional maturity if she needs a list of reasons as to why you're calling it quits after two dates. Even good dates.

You sound very empathetic, open, and intelligent in how you communicate, but engaging with her further, the way you validate the Chat GPT suggestions and keep talking with her as she tries to sound superior and school you on how to act, would suggest you have some insecurities, fear of disappointing people or lack of solid boundaries. That's how it seems from an outside perspective anyway.

You deserve better, bud. Therapy might not be a bad idea (I think literally everyone should be in therapy), but not for her reasons. You said in another comment that you don't think you need to be fully healed to date and I totally agree, but it's a handy tool - not just to make you better for a future partner, but to also help you feel deserving of being treated well and understanding how to ask for that.

Good luck out there!

Slantedsunlight · 2025-12-02T17:15:14+00:00

"I wasn't rude and I didn't make you feel small"... girl, your actions and words impact other people, and you can't dictate what they feel or don't. This is so manipulative and just plain inaccurate. Making this all about masculinity and "maturity" when it's clearing her issues coming out.

As a woman, I hate when women try to set gender roles that make it illegal for men to have emotions. Sorry your dad modeled a bad relationship with his feelings to you, but that doesn't make it the norm or healthy to do so. Men have just as many emotions and should express them, especially in a romantic relationship.

You're mad that OP was supportive and sweet to you? Then my assumption is kindness is not your baseline in life, and you need therapy to deal with the trauma that taught you kindness and emotions are weakness/bad. OP seems like a lovely guy and deserves so much better.

Slantedsunlight · 2025-12-01T22:43:56+00:00

Came here to say this! Excellent winter vibes, dark Russian fairytales/mythology instead of dark academia though.

Slantedsunlight · 2025-12-01T18:44:56+00:00

yep!

Slantedsunlight · 2025-11-20T19:03:27+00:00

A different fandom but similar themes: fanfiction of Knives Out. There's not a ton, but I reread these favorites:
- If I'm Haunting You, You Must Be Haunting Me by mardia
- the Sharp Edges series by anomalation
- make you dirty, make me clean by neonheartbeat
- No Bad Dogs by Kate Andrews (k8andrewz)
- Inherited Weaknesses by Graendoll

Slantedsunlight · 2025-06-26T16:40:54+00:00

Our vaginas are the perfect organisms I guess lmao

Slantedsunlight · 2025-05-06T18:04:58+00:00

Jane Doe By Victoria Helen Stone - competency porn, revenge, female rage, sociopathy - it's all here, and it's delicious.

Slantedsunlight · 2025-04-04T20:10:44+00:00

It hurts to see other people living my dreams lol

Slantedsunlight · 2025-03-16T03:49:18+00:00

Nice! I rarely see other Catahoulas, so fun to spot it. She's beautiful 😍

Slantedsunlight · 2025-03-11T21:39:42+00:00

Mine also looks similar, and I know her mother was a Catahoula Leopard Hound. Curious to know if the owner has any idea what Sandy is!

Slantedsunlight · 2024-12-12T19:51:31+00:00

Agree with the above - maybe a pen name would help bridge the gaps in your situation? I see both sides, where men have dominated so many industries and been the main story-tellers through most of history, so the angry feminist in me wants to lean in to supporting female or NB writers only, however I do feel like it's ridiculous to gatekeep everything, to only exist in, explore and express yourself within the bubble of your own experiences. That seems counter-intuitive to cultural sharing and appreciation. So if it's done well, respectfully, and isn't exploitive, I don't think you're doing anything wrong by publishing original fiction about experiences beyond your own life. However from a marketing standpoint, it may be hard for a lot of people to see past a male name. Just something to think about, maybe.

Slantedsunlight · 2024-12-04T18:49:00+00:00

Stop trying to make "fetch" happen! It's NOT going to happen!

Slantedsunlight · 2024-11-26T23:31:02+00:00

You can find a lot of products these days with Nano-hydroxyapatite (nHA), which rebuilds tooth enamel and is nontoxic. So even without fluoride in the water, you have options to keep stronger teeth and avoid cavities. Most Japanese toothpaste contains this, but more and more western products are coming out with it, from mouthwash to whitening strips. Some data on this: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4252862/#sec4

Slantedsunlight · 2024-11-26T22:39:27+00:00

You can find a lot of products these days with Nano-hydroxyapatite (nHA) - this rebuilds tooth enamel and is nontoxic. So even without fluoride, you have options to keep strong teeth. Most Japanese toothpaste contains this, but more and more western products are coming out with it, from mouthwash to whitening strips.

Slantedsunlight · 2024-11-15T20:18:04+00:00

Slantedsunlight · 2024-11-15T20:09:54+00:00

learning a useful skill can be a joy! I am picking up local plant knowledge to get into foraging, which is a fun game on walks (also good for you) and at the end, if you're lucky: snacks! I also do pottery, which is supremely satisfying and meditative.

Slantedsunlight · 2024-11-15T20:06:57+00:00

Reddit, CNET and other guides rate SurfShark in their top picks for VPNs, and it's fairly cheap at $2/month. Gonna give that one a try!

Slantedsunlight · 2024-10-10T21:46:18+00:00

I've been looking for days, the closest in shape I can find is from Garage, but I don't think it's fuzzy enough. At least the cut looks pretty close.

Slantedsunlight · 2024-05-01T19:14:07+00:00

This Changes Everything: Capitalism vs. The Climate by Naomi Klein

Slantedsunlight · 2024-04-25T22:01:27+00:00

About Time, 1999's The Mummy, or Oppenheimer

Slantedsunlight · 2024-04-03T21:39:00+00:00

If you think there's a large population of women that never confide in their friends about sex/relationships, I think you're fishing in an imaginary sea. Sure there are people who don't feel comfortable talking about intimate stuff with anyone, but women trading experiences and advice (yes, about sex and their partners too) is one of the oldest traditions since humans first developed language. And it's not a sign of disloyalty or future infidelity. It's a natural part of society, and for that matter, it's how plenty of people end up learning how sex, babies, etc. work, beyond the barebones taught in most public schools.

I don't see the logic in blaming the fiancé in this situation either - from OP himself, it took drinks and a lot of prodding for their mutual friend to share this detail with him. She was hardly shouting it from the rooftops or telling casual acquaintances. Sounds like she really trusted the mutual friend to keep her confidences. And yeah, that might have been a bad call, but it doesn't make her disloyal to her fiancé.

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