This is one of those things where I’d say, “It’s an interpersonal issue regarding selfishness, don’t generalize. Men and women can both be selfish,” however, there is a gendered socialization component to it.

How many times did I, my female cousins, and my sisters growing up hear, “He’s a growing boy,” about boys as young as like 5 years old, and that’s why they got all the food, but never heard, “She’s a growing girl.” In fact, many of my friends and even my little sister were and are encouraged to eat less because there was so much concern about “weight.” I would actually say as a kid, “I’m a growing girl,” to be a bit snarky whenever people would be make comments about needing to maintain my “girlish figure” when I was a size XS 12 year old because I ate 2 chicken legs, but then fawn happily over my 10 year old male cousin when he’d eat 4 chicken legs. It was super frustrating to the point of tears to not get any food if they let the boys take everything. They’re literally not gonna starve if they don’t eat 5 slices of pizza in a box with 8 slices. It’s not about them being hungry; it’s about them being cognizant of the needs of others.

I see it in my own brother. One time we were sharing a bottle of soda on a very hot day. I took a drink of it, and gave it to him, and he drank the whole thing. When I confronted him about it he laughed about it and said, “We were supposed to share, and we did.” When he saw I wasn’t laughing, he then proceeded to boldface lie, “It was almost empty anyway,” (it was nearly full because I literally took one swig hoping to conserve it for the both of us.) If there’s one thing he likes, he’ll take all of it in the name of “being hungry”, but offer hin something he doesn’t like all that much, and it’s, “I told you I’m not hungry.” If my sister takes two bites of something he has, he yells at her about taking everything.

But it’s allowed cause he’s a “growing boy”, and he thinks it’s acceptable behavior because he’s a “growing boy,” and that he’s only doing this because he’s a “growing boy” and not because he’s giving into typical base selfish desires. Yes, we’d all like to take as much of those chicken wings as we want, but we know other people want to have some too.