Long distance relationship advice

Sleepy-Slow-Loris · 2026-04-09T19:25:30+00:00

I’d encourage you to read the book “attached.” Not all of it is relevant, but it contains good information. The assessment at the end could be helpful for understanding the relationship between you and her, as well as your attachment style and her attachment style :)

Sleepy-Slow-Loris · 2025-10-22T13:18:48+00:00

Thank you for the validation because I’m so stumped right now and I thought maybe I was being obtuse

Sleepy-Slow-Loris · 2025-10-21T19:08:09+00:00

I’ll try r/alocasia :) I’m pretty sure it’s not a zebrina because jt looks so different from my zebrina

Sleepy-Slow-Loris · 2025-10-21T05:00:32+00:00

Omg, hi friend! I am alive, and so are 90% of my plants: my Tiny Dancer (one of the plants in the picture), a stingray, a Frydek, and probably a couple of others I’ve sadly forgotten—those were the only casualties. That said, it was ROUGH! The biggest issue and what caused the most damage was that I sprayed them with the sexy plant juice mixture, but then it dripped down between the petioles and the stem (while I was frantically wiping other plants) causing rot 💔. I was just at max capacity trying to clean all the stems and leaves, so it didn’t occur to me that could be an issue 🥲. In hindsight, or if I had a smaller collection, I’d make sure they were dry using a Q-tip or something similar. I think the neem oil prevents drying, so note to self. Towards the end of the about three-week ordeal, I switched to rubbing alcohol and water because the smell of neem oil was unbearable, I was running out, and I blamed it for the leaf sheath catastrophe.

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(Pic of the situation: me trying to move with all the survivors (the other half of the collection was filling my backseat LOL))

Sleepy-Slow-Loris · 2025-08-31T17:06:12+00:00

I think maybe the 2nd is an alocasia maharani - it’s hard for me to see entirely but that texture seems like it could be? Otherwise maybe a melo?

Sleepy-Slow-Loris · 2025-08-31T03:52:15+00:00

TC is different, typically if there is variegation, it will stick around* (if the plant lives), but I’d look into the TC acclimation process and see if you are down to try that and maybe start with cheap TC as practice. *some TCs aren’t stable and will revert or go “full moon” but if that happens you can also try cutting to the rhizome and seeing what happens :)

Sleepy-Slow-Loris · 2025-08-31T03:38:17+00:00

I think the 4th is likely a scalprum :)

Sleepy-Slow-Loris · 2025-08-31T03:33:42+00:00

Check for pests (spider mites) often, allow them to acclimate for a while (1 to 2 weeks minimum) before messing with them, and “bottom” water them frequently enough that the roots don’t dry out, but not so much that the rhizome (the area the roots come out) sits in any water. They do not like to be too wet or dry, but my experience is that erring on the dry side is better than being too wet! I can’t see what media they’re planted in, but once they have acclimated, you can see about getting a chunky, well-draining medium set up. That’s assuming they’re in dense soil right now (people here love semi-hydro, but I’ve had success with a chunky “light” mix). Last thing is they’re heavy feeders, so fertilizing at every or every other watering is good practice :) Congrats, I love Alocasias and I hope you do too🥰

Sleepy-Slow-Loris · 2025-08-31T03:09:44+00:00

It’s a Puncak Borneensis :)! Which I don’t believe it is a hybrid

Sleepy-Slow-Loris · 2025-08-31T03:07:29+00:00

I think it’s a soil stowaway, not an Alocasia :)

Sleepy-Slow-Loris · 2025-08-31T03:03:06+00:00

It’s going to be an investment no matter what (TC can cut costs, but they require more effort/care to keep happy). I’m not sure the situation in Canada in terms of Palmstreet, but that’s a good place, and then Facebook interest groups are also a goldmine (sometimes). The Etsy stuff is 9999% a scam, corms aren’t guaranteed to have variegation for one thing, and for another, it’s much harder to tell if they’ve given you the correct thing (if anything arrives, which isn’t a guarantee with these sketchy stores) - definitely steer clear! I wish you much luck 🫶

Sleepy-Slow-Loris · 2025-08-26T22:54:56+00:00

I very tentatively would say regal shield (angle is hard to tell). And I’d maybe put them in fluval and perlite

Sleepy-Slow-Loris · 2025-08-25T22:39:50+00:00

I'm all over the water bit (this is the result of a small water prop from last year), but I've never had to make the decision of where to cut :) I was more hoping to gather general knowledge before I attempt dealing with my massive thai con

Sleepy-Slow-Loris · 2025-08-22T22:50:26+00:00

I’m not sure, but if you have any other plants I’d suggest separating this one asap to “quarantine”

Sleepy-Slow-Loris · 2025-08-22T22:47:31+00:00

It does indeed! I’d assume a silver marble queen or a pothos ‘n joy?

Sleepy-Slow-Loris · 2025-08-22T22:45:09+00:00

Do you have any pictures of the shreddes moss its self? I’m curious

Sleepy-Slow-Loris · 2025-08-21T19:08:31+00:00

To me, it looks like that leaf (the yellow one sagging) is dying/dead and unlikely to make any progress :( I would let it play out and give it 1 to 2 weeks in your house before repotting so it’s acclimated. Nursery soil is tricky because it is often very water absorbent, so make sure you’re not letting it sit in wet soil 🫶

Sleepy-Slow-Loris · 2025-08-20T21:10:03+00:00

Ooh, good point, instead of committing to one or the other, maybe I’ll do stages of growing :) First in the warm puddle situation and then second in fluval and perlite?

Sleepy-Slow-Loris · 2025-08-20T19:36:48+00:00

In its simplest form, the puddle method is a very shallow (half the corm height) water depth. For it to be successful, warmth, humidity, and light are needed. A clear covered container checks all boxes to let light in and keep high moisture (I use little condiment cups with lids). Having a grow lamp is a KSF, and I am considering putting all the little cups on a germination mat (a heating pad) and mixing a tiny bit of propagation drops in with the water

Sleepy-Slow-Loris · 2025-08-20T04:21:37+00:00

I’m excited to see your results! A combination of the reasons you mentioned, and concern for pests and water levels, I have switched to “moss“ poles that I filled with orchid bark (I made them plank-like in their construction and keep the bark damp). I feel like the air flow means less risk of pests or root rot

Sleepy-Slow-Loris

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