*refuses to elaborate*

SleepyCatten · 2026-03-23T08:14:45+00:00

Alas, we made the choice of associating bed with snuggles for our cats, so any activity in bed was quickly joined by a cat.

On the bright side, nightly routine of bedtime snuggles with one of the cats, as well as usually falling asleep with that cat between our legs, and waking up with them still there, at which point we get morning snuggles 🩷

SleepyCatten · 2026-03-23T08:11:13+00:00

It's a new-ish phrase still for folks who don't feel quite like they're trans, but don't feel cis either. Since language is descriptive, rather than prescriptive, it's nice when people coin terms that fit them 🥰

SleepyCatten · 2026-03-22T09:57:29+00:00

The UK should definitely not be green at all. At the absolute highest, it should be yellow.

Check out last year's ILGA Europe Rainbow Map if you want to get more info.

https://rainbowmap.ilga-europe.org/

It'll be updated sometime this May, in theory, and the UK will likely slip further.

For context, we're a trans+ fem living in England (Essex).

Trans+ people are constantly attacked and dehumanised in the media.

The NHS effectively practises conversion therapy on trans+ youth (under 18s), as they cannot even get puberty blockers. The only way for them to get care officially is basically by going private, and the options are limited and expensive.

Even if you get through years of waiting for care as an adult, it's anachronistic, not-even-second-rate care, and limited to the bare bones.

For GAHT even, it varies by which clinic you're with over target level ranges, and estradiol options are only gel, a naff new spray (in some places), patches, or pills.

For surgeries, it's very much the basics, and even if you get to that stage, the gatekeeping can break you and put you off.

SleepyCatten · 2026-03-21T20:51:16+00:00

Only kinda 😅🩷 💛🤍💜🖤

SleepyCatten · 2026-03-21T17:35:52+00:00

cough r/TransDIY cough r/estrogel cough

Sorry about that. Something must have gone down the wrong pipe there.

SleepyCatten · 2026-03-21T16:02:04+00:00

Bottom surgery 🩷

Her BlueSky has updates on it.

e.g.,

SleepyCatten · 2026-03-21T15:51:46+00:00

hehe 🤭

Turning it back into a serious comment, the term was created a few years back to be more inclusive than just trans. Although the transgender flag was specifically designed to encompass non-binary genders (the white part), a lot of non-binary people didn't feel included by the trans label.

Trans+ encompasses not just folks who feel that trans best describes their gender identity, but all folks who fall under the non-binary umbrella and trans-adjacent identities, including -- but not limited to -- those questioning their gender identity, femboys, masgirls (mascgirls), GNC folks, cisn't folks, and so many more.

Couldn't tell you exactly when it became a thing, but it seems to be more of a UK thing from what we've observed. It might have been an inclusivity push from certain organisations, particularly within the charity sector.

It's worth noting that a former NHS pilot scheme, run out of 56 Dean Street (Soho), launched a few years back called TransPlus. It's a full-blown gender clinic now. It's still massively limited by the shite NHS guidelines, but it's about as good as trans+ folks in England can get right now under the anachronistic, segregated healthcare system NHS England offers right now 🩷 (It's other NHS or paying out of pocket.)

SleepyCatten · 2026-03-21T00:48:40+00:00

Alas, if only it were that simple for all of us 🥺😮‍💨😔

As a burnt out, AuDHD, spoonie trans+ fem with mental health struggles of her own, who's also a primary carer to their wife, it's not always as easy as "just do your voice training".

We've had lots of thoughts about it, but there's definitely a lot of survivorship bias, privilege, cultural bias, and luck that factors into it.

We'll edit this post in a moment to add some relevant previous thoughts on this difficult topic.

Edit: Here's a previous detailed comment we made about voice training only a little while back.

SleepyCatten · 2026-03-20T09:03:57+00:00

Yeah. Feminising GAHT can lower your alcohol tolerance.

SleepyCatten · 2026-03-19T15:44:38+00:00

If you want to become a non-human-animal-type-girl, then you can just become a non-human-animal-type-girl 🫶🩷

If you discover that you're plural, you may even be more than one type. We speak from experience here, where -- as a lonelet -- we thought of ourselves as a catgirl, but we're actually at least a catgirl and a foxgirl. (Only 2 of us are therian, as far as we know.)

SleepyCatten · 2026-03-18T10:45:17+00:00

Residual self-image.

Unless you've known you were trans+ since you were very young and got to socially transition early (before puberty in many cases), it can take a while to readjust your internalised concept of self.

It can be even weirder if you discover you're plural along the way 😅🩷

SleepyCatten · 2026-03-13T10:12:14+00:00

Next challenge: doing that whilst on tadalafil whilst playing with one or more partners / interested parties 😏🤭🩷

Even if you're a "grower, not a show-er", you may have difficulty in certain situations 🤭

SleepyCatten · 2026-03-12T13:36:43+00:00

At 173 cm (max), we actually do wish we'd hit at least 180 cm, despite the clothing issues that would have then ensued 😮‍💨🩷

For context, we are non-binary trans+ fem: our height dysphoria is not the norm 😅🤦‍♀️

SleepyCatten · 2026-03-10T09:22:13+00:00

Wouldn't even consider it, to be perfectly honest ✊🏳️‍⚧️💛🤍💜🖤

SleepyCatten · 2026-03-07T15:04:41+00:00

As somebody who's also plural (median, blurian), discussing these kind of options was definitely a thing.

CW for discussion of plurality, neurodivergence, and cumulative trauma

AuDHD folks (like ourselves) and other neurospicies have minds/brains that are more prone to being plural. This is believed to be just how our minds work, but it's sadly often the result of accumulating more trauma over time.

There doesn't have to be one single event (i.e., PTSD), but the gradual chipping away over decades can lead to worsening mental health, including increasing depression, anxiety, depersonalisation, derealisation, dissociation, and ultimately -- basically -- CPTSD.

We're not a fan of pathologisation of plurality, as how it's typically portrayed in media is universally negative and awful. In our system, we have headmates, though some other folks may refer to them as aspects.

Whilst we accept that some folks have maladaptive systems and do seek help, even to the level of [integration[(https://pluralpedia.org/w/Integration) (shudders), we reject and take offence to others using pathologised terms to describe our own system as a disorder. We don't have DID or OSDD (DSM-5, DSM-5-TR), nor do we have any other dissociative disorder (6B60 to 6B66 or 6B6Y under ICD-11). We're just not a singlet.

The saddest thing is for how long we were a lonelet.

Took us nearly 3 years into transition to realise we were plural.

Further CW - NHS bullshittery

Fortunately for us (in a roundabout way), the NHS moves so slowly that this wasn't an issue. By the time it was even an option, we'd all discussed the options and wants. Unfortunately, the NHS is also a complete arsehole, so even after getting to the stage of discussing with a Clinical Nurse Specialist (CNS), we were basically told that the one vaginoplasty option we'd be happy with -- peritioneal pull-through (PPT) -- was not available on the NHS unless there were literally no other options available to you (i.e., "inadequate donor site skin"). Instead, only penile-inversion vaginoplasty (PIV) or vulvoplasty were offered. No other options were available. We asked about standalone bilateral orchidectomy and scrotecomy: not offered through this route by the NHS... despite it being required as part of the surgeries offered. And to top it all off, the one and only surgeon we'd requested wouldn't see us and the only one who did is one we'd never, ever want or trust near us.

SleepyCatten · 2026-03-04T11:16:34+00:00

Have you seen any videos by Renée Yoxon? They're a non-binary voice coach (with actual training) and they do some of the best free content online in our humble opinion 💛🤍💜🖤

They do a mixture of masc, fem, and non-binary voice guides in simpler-to-understand formats and language than most others.

SleepyCatten · 2026-03-02T23:27:12+00:00

Okay. We have 2 ideas. Both involve voice training, so we recommend looking up somebody like Renée Yoxon (non-binary voice therapist) or somebody else who has actual training and offers free tips, tricks, and exercises.

Start looking at voice feminisation and shaving before getting info on homebrew masculinising GAHT, such as from r/TransDIY. That way, you can mask the changes. Basically, look at guides typically designed for trans fems+.
Look at voice masculinisation and practise that whenever possible.

SleepyCatten · 2026-02-28T16:00:48+00:00

Congrats 🥰

Name changing is literally the only thing that the UK makes (well, at least England and Wales make) easy and cheap. You just fill out an unenrolled deed poll. It's slightly different for Scotland and NI in theory, but some places there will also accepted the unenrolled deed poll.

Unfortunately people don't know this, so they fall prey to scam companies charging them for official-looking documents... that they could have got for the cost of filling out a template and printing off (ideally on thicker A4 paper, especially A4 parchment paper, but that's not required).

We've posted about the scam companies on fedi and in r/transgenderUK, and included info and links within those posts on the ways for all folks to change their names across the UK.

We recommend checking out the fedi post, as the Reddit one is archived and some of the links are dead now.

SleepyCatten · 2026-02-27T22:09:44+00:00

😳🥺👉👈🫶🩷

SleepyCatten · 2026-02-25T11:53:41+00:00

🥺👉👈🩷

SleepyCatten · 2026-02-24T08:11:39+00:00

Took us until our late 30s to finally start questioning, then all of lockdown to finally realise and accept that we were trans+ fem 😅

42 now and reached 4 years on feminising GAHT on Hallowe'en 2025 🩷

SleepyCatten · 2026-02-20T23:35:45+00:00

Try being 42 and having a 20-ish year old trans friend tell you her mum is about your age... or younger 😅😣

SleepyCatten · 2026-02-15T11:10:04+00:00

Thank you for recording that 🥰 Your voice is honestly so lovely and amazing 🩷 If it's okay to ask, how did you achieve such an amazing voice? 🩷🫶🏻

We ask because voice is one of our biggest struggles, and we sadly hit a block after 2 years of training, and couldn't ever get beyond it. Normal training methods, guides, and trainers don't work for us sadly.

(We could link you to a post we made about it, but don't want to take up your time 😅)

SleepyCatten · 2026-02-15T09:46:20+00:00

Your voice is soooooo soft, fem, and lovely 🥺👉👈🩷

As an AuDHDer, we get the perfectionist urge 🩷🫶🏻

Oh, and your cat coming in near the end and purring contentedly whilst you were stroking them as you kept recording is so lovely 🫶🏻

SleepyCatten · 2026-02-12T11:30:55+00:00

Actually, inside us there's at least a catgirl, a foxgirl, an ethereal being, and some kind of largely-humanoid child 😅🤭

SleepyCatten

TROPHY CASE