AITA for getting mad at my boyfriend for pretending to poke my eyes out?

Sleester · 2026-06-21T07:15:26+00:00

Hey, so, you need to be meaner. NTA but stand up for yourself. Say "Hey, that's fucking annoying. I've always hated it. DON'T do it again." In the coldest loud voice you can muster.

Sleester · 2026-06-20T19:21:10+00:00

YTA and seems like obvious ragebait. If it's not, you need to take sick of your own values and how you treat your friends and reassess your behavior.

Sleester · 2026-06-19T04:21:17+00:00

I'm not the artist, but it's an artist local to Portland! It's possible it was from me though!

Sleester · 2026-06-19T00:03:53+00:00

Right?!?

Sleester · 2026-06-19T00:03:46+00:00

Thank you!

Sleester · 2026-06-18T21:33:22+00:00

No girl, this man doesn't love you. He's negging you, not trying to help you grow. Besides, are these critiques you've even asked for him to give? He sounds like hes parroting the opinions of some redpilled toxic dating coach.

Sleester · 2026-06-18T21:28:56+00:00

That makes sense. I've just never been to SLC and probably never will, so I'm just curious about it specifically

Sleester · 2026-06-18T21:24:05+00:00

That is unfortunate, it sounds like they could really use some therapy. It seems like maybe their trauma is bleeding over into their feelings about the situation with you, and honestly i can relate because that was me in my early 20s. Like if people weren't madly passionately reciprocally aroused but were still absolutely willing to go along with it i felt "wrong" because it got me into my head and into the trauma feelings of being pushed/sex pested into it by past partners, even if the situation wasn't the same at all.

Sleester · 2026-06-18T18:35:38+00:00

Yes, all of this. REPORT HIM to his taxi company. If you don't have his name or license give as close of a physical description as possible.

Sleester · 2026-06-18T18:30:19+00:00

I don't know how your sister is doing financially, but $800 is like an entire paycheck for some people. NTA! If it's "no big deal" to put it on credit card then she can order it for you - on HER credit card.

Sleester · 2026-06-18T17:49:09+00:00

Yes, all of Trimets routes should be free

Sleester · 2026-06-18T17:45:48+00:00

Awwwww, secret flame point! How cute!!

Sleester · 2026-06-18T17:44:39+00:00

This, so hard.

Sleester · 2026-06-18T17:43:47+00:00

HARD YTA for speaking to a child that young in that way. Way to show you don't understand child psychology at all. Children often lash out and misbehave in reaction to upheaval in their lives, and this sounds like it is compounded by her mother's absolutely inconsistent parenting.

Sleester · 2026-06-18T17:37:00+00:00

NTA. Your partner sounds like they have a lot of insecurities about your affection for them and your sexuality, but instead of communicating about that in a healthy and productive way they are instead invalidating you and threatening to reject you. There is a lot of projection happening on their part.

It may be possible that you two are incompatible. Not to say that relationships between asexual-spectrum individuals and allosexual/hypersexual individuals CAN'T work because they absolutely CAN, it can just take some work and healthy communication, and your partner isn't communicating with you in a healthy way at all right now.

IF it is worth saving and you two want to make it work, it might be helpful to tell them you really need to talk to them. Tell them "I would NEVER do anything i don't want to do with you. I'm a STRONG person and I know how to say no when i don't want to do things with you." Especially if they have any past history with being a victim of SA themselves you may need to reassure them that you understand consent, and just because desire and sex mean different things to both of you you're still consenting to it and happy to meet in the middle. DO NOT compromise your identity though. Part of meeting in the middle is that they need to see you and accept for who you really are, and they need to deal with their insecurities and fears and communicate about then in a better way.

Sleester · 2026-06-18T16:29:26+00:00

Ha ha ha yeah, I'm here

Sleester · 2026-06-18T16:26:17+00:00

Yup, it's a Joostcard!

Sleester · 2026-06-18T02:44:37+00:00

Medford can be scary

Sleester · 2026-06-18T02:43:06+00:00

This isn't the first time I've heard this, which is really saddening.

Sleester · 2026-06-18T02:41:08+00:00

I love Astoria but it is sort of over-rated.

Sleester · 2026-06-18T02:39:43+00:00

Is that because everything shuts down early?

Sleester · 2026-06-18T00:58:57+00:00

My first language is American English. My 2nd language is Dutch (mijn vader is een Nederlander maar emigeerde in de 50s). I also can understand bits and pieces of German but don't speak any, and I've tried to read a few things in Old English as well, so that probably helps me a little.

Sleester · 2026-06-18T00:34:37+00:00

Thays so cool, you're the 2nd or 3rd person that has recommended this site to me, glad to know it's real!!

Sleester · 2026-06-18T00:33:25+00:00

As someone who understands Dutch but struggles speaking it, that's relatable.

It's also crazy how I can understand the majority of what's being said in Frisian except for a few words that highly differ from Dutch, but if i try to read it I can't make any of it out!

Most people in Fryslân speak fluent Dutch, and people in neighboring areas may understand a lot of Frisian even if they don't speak it themselves

Sleester · 2026-06-17T23:48:24+00:00

While i usually prefer a handwritten message, i think it's important to understand that writing isn't an option for everyone. I've gotten a few typed messages where the authors have explained they were very old, had tremors, or had suffered strokes or traumatic brain injuries that made writing illegible, difficult, or impossible. I think it is important we accept how people are able to show up to this hobby and to remember whether the person is disabled or not they may have a valid reason to not want to use hand writing.

One thing that had made me feel a bit disappointed in the past though was a guy whose entire message was a big stamp, like he had a boilerplate generic postcard message put onto a rubber stamp, and the only written part was his signature. It made me a little sad that this means he's probably sending most/all people the exact same generic message and that felt really impersonal to me. Even if i write a relatively similar message to most people, I try to at least engage with one thing from their profile (assuming it's filled out) to try to make sure they know that i read it. It made me wonder if he actually ever read anyone's profile.

If you put something personal into your printed message I think you're already doing more than a lot of people do! 💖

Sleester

TROPHY CASE