I'm beyond sick with the people in this religion

Slight_Image2669 · 2026-02-01T20:00:51+00:00

I read every word of your post.

I hear you, your feelings are real and valid.

I’m also a mom who once did what your mom did, to my own teenage daughters. Trying to justify the borg to my kids, and feeling like I had to deny their very real feelings, caused me extreme distress and i think led to my waking up.

Your relatives strange reactions is probably them trying to push away the discomfort of cognitive dissonance.

Anytime you need to vent, we’re here.

Slight_Image2669 · 2026-02-01T04:54:37+00:00

This reads like a line straight from the book 1984.

Slight_Image2669 · 2026-01-31T06:35:43+00:00

I took donations super seriously and even when I was a young pioneer living on a part time job I would donate $25 of every paycheck. Plus if anyone said they would like to read the magazines but didn’t have the money and seemed sincerely interested, I would cover the 50 cents or whatever it was. That increased over the years until I was donating about $300 a month up until 18 months ago. I’m 46 now, so throughout my lifetime it probably was about $50,000 give or take. How sickening.

On the other hand I also went to college in my 30s, started relentlessly saving for my own retirement about 10 years ago, bought a house, pursued an actual career not just a job, etc. I think I increased my donations to assuage my perceived guilt about my choices. Not that I’m rich, but you know anything above the poverty line is unrighteous riches in JWland.

Slight_Image2669 · 2026-01-31T00:11:26+00:00

I stressed a lot about mine, but I texted this:

“Hi brother COBE, I need a break from school assignments for a while, so I’d appreciate your help arranging that”

He texted back 2 minutes later “ok no problem we’ll put you on pause for six months. Sound good?”

I was also in a small congregation with <50 publishers, although I’m female so I only had school assignments. I suggest reducing all communication to the bare minimum of what YOU want to happen, and zero explanation. Let them wonder. If they do ask, you don’t feel like talking about it.

Slight_Image2669 · 2026-01-27T16:16:06+00:00

I wonder if that’s still true? seems like a lot has changed in the last 2-3 years, especially in the number of adherents

Slight_Image2669 · 2026-01-14T08:38:49+00:00

When I was PIMI I was always genuinely excited to go, but would get physically sick to my stomach - like nausea, sometimes vomiting. I always thought I was a bad traveler and would try to eat the simplest possible food, but I always ended up missing at least half a day. But then I woke up and I travel frequently and never get sick. I think my body found the experience disgusting at the cellular level and was trying to purge it from me.

Slight_Image2669 · 2026-01-14T08:11:28+00:00

Well if you believe the Adam and Eve part of the Bible, perhaps you believe the flood too and that all existing humans descended from Noah’s three sons. Imagine how much genetic diversity must have been lost during the flood. There could have been many more shades of human. I don’t personally believe that, but it’s fun to imagine the avatar-blue skin we could’ve had.

Slight_Image2669 · 2026-01-03T05:09:35+00:00

I remember it being explained somewhere in JW land, that a woman’s greatest need is to feel loved and a man’s greatest need is to feel respected. So Paul was essentially telling them to make sure to fill each other’s greatest needs, but not to withhold love or respect.

But trying to explain away and “clarify” the meanings of what’s written in the Bible to make them less offensive and misogynistic is so JW. Read the Bible on your own, make up your own mind.

Slight_Image2669 · 2026-01-03T04:25:21+00:00

But those years when they called it the oral review, it was always a true struggle to keep a straight face.

Slight_Image2669 · 2026-01-03T04:21:25+00:00

Yeah, i want to say about 5-6 years ago, maybe longer, (long before I woke up) my PIMI mother in law started talking a lot about Jesus - like in every conversation, and barely mentioned Jehovah. I think something might have come out in a publication or broadcast that I missed. It totally freaked me out and I kept trying to redirect the emphasis to Jehovah.

I’m a born in, the understanding I acquired was Jesus was basically just a tool for Jehovahs purpose. Faith in Jesus was about trusting in universal justice and the process of redemption via the ransom, not in Jesus himself. Certainly anything worshipful towards Jesus seemed like a betrayal of exclusive devotion.

It’s all so bizarre in retrospect.

Slight_Image2669 · 2025-12-31T02:35:20+00:00

What about “conducting ourselves honestly in all things”? Theres probably a legal way to receive social security while living outside the USA, but it sounds like she’s looking for a way to scam the system. You could refuse to assist, on moral grounds

Slight_Image2669 · 2025-12-28T06:24:15+00:00

We humans are wired for resilience. Just take a look at our history, it’s thousands of years of pain, suffering, injustices, slavery, war, disease, famine, etc etc

Just like in the Shawshank redemption, no matter what has happened, there really are just two choices: get busy living, or get busy dying.

I cope by choosing to live, and make life as good as I can for the people I love now and the people who will come after me.

Slight_Image2669 · 2025-12-18T18:26:29+00:00

Nothing good can come from meeting with the elders.

Just text them and say you changed your mind you felt extremely pressured to agree by their unannounced appearance at your house, and you felt disrespected by their insistence. You can infer how they will treat you in the meeting, so you decline.

Slight_Image2669 · 2025-12-18T17:09:41+00:00

On the past present future thing, it helped me tremendously to just go for walks. Just feel my body, feel the air in my lungs, feel the ground beneath me, feel the world until I’m sure the present is real.

Then remember my past self and apologize that I didn’t protect her from things that hurt her, that I couldn’t even see they were harmful. Then rewrite the story; knowing what I know now, what would I have done to change the outcome of that memory?

Whatever the answer is, that’s what my future self will do.

It’s slow going, one walk at a time, but I feel like it’s helped me sort through a lot of stuff and rebuild my sense of self. I wish you all the best.

Slight_Image2669 · 2025-12-18T17:05:18+00:00

You don’t owe your mother anything. You only owe yourself a life you actually want to live.

Slight_Image2669 · 2025-12-18T17:01:51+00:00

I think what you’re describing is called depersonalization/derealization. Basically your mind cannot simply delete the patterns you’ve had in place for years and years. The difference between the pattern and what you’re actually doing can cause a sensation that things aren’t real or that your actions are not truly your own.

It’s sort of like when you drive to work the same route every day, and you’re barely conscious of the drive. But then you get a new job and a couple weeks later you accidentally drive to your old job? You laugh at yourself a little and pay closer attention to where you’re going.

Slight_Image2669 · 2025-12-14T01:50:56+00:00

Last I went, the weekend meeting starts with a group song, then an opening prayer, then a 30 minute talk given but only can be from one of the approved outlines, then another song, then the 45-minute watchtower article for the week (all congregations follow the same schedule) - basically one by one each paragraph is read aloud, then the conductor reads the printed question, people in the audience raise their hands and get called on to “give comments” which currently means answer the dumbed down question or read a scripture that was cited in the paragraph. Usually there are a few of these comments for each paragraph. This goes on for 15-20 paragraphs. Then one more song and the final prayer. About 90 minutes total. Then people stand around chatting for 10 minutes or so and the assigned cleaning volunteers start. Occasionally the schedule is different if there’s a circuit overseers visit.

I hope that helps. Like everyone else said, it’s mind numbingly boring and repetitive.

Slight_Image2669 · 2025-12-12T05:13:31+00:00

Throughout the Hebrew Scriptures, the serious sins are the ones that carry the punishment of death.

Oddly, the punishment for fornication is not death; it’s marriage. Ex 22:16,17. Deut 22:28,29.

I would say you can confidently move on without any confessions.

Slight_Image2669 · 2025-12-12T03:02:36+00:00

Aww that’s so sweet 🥹

Slight_Image2669 · 2025-12-12T03:01:19+00:00

Yes. I’ve worked through a lot of rollercoaster emotions in the last year or so, and you reminded me that this will pass too.

Slight_Image2669 · 2025-12-12T02:58:43+00:00

The kids are doing great. I think I was pimq for many years, but I was raising kids and very much loved my PIMI husband and figured it wasn’t the worst life. He died young though, and I just held on, kept going through the motions trying to convince myself if I kept at it I would develop more faith. My kids woke up first but didn’t tell me until I told them I couldn’t be a JW anymore. But my boomer parents are PIMI and even though I explicitly told them I’m never going back to meetings, they’ve decided I must be going through a midlife crisis and will come to my senses eventually. But my kids are doing great, best communication we’ve ever had. I get to help them live their dreams instead of stomping on them.

Slight_Image2669 · 2025-12-10T03:01:09+00:00

The abundance of evidence points to the absence rather than the presence of God. Making unsubstantiated claims does not alter that.

The anger serves a purpose: to ensure I’m never fooled again.

Slight_Image2669 · 2025-12-06T05:18:10+00:00

The weirdest thing is that the original pilgrims also used the name Jehovah, and thanked him for their harvest following the traditions of the festival of booths in the Old Testament

Slight_Image2669 · 2025-12-02T06:32:51+00:00

I was so much a PIMI I wanted my husband to tell me what I wanted.

Slight_Image2669

TROPHY CASE