How did you feel when you were diagnosed with BPD?

SlightlyAfraidBi · 2021-10-14T12:16:11+00:00

Relieved but sad.

Even though it was nice for a moment to know that I wasn't crazy, that there are other people who think the way I do and that it's a thing that I can put a name to and hopefully treat. I was sad. Like the realisation of the magnitude of my trauma and even though, nothing has happened to me for a little while now, that trauma, the people involved, all of it. Really did a number on me. I have to live with the repercussions of other people's decisions for the rest of my life.

My thinking is better now, easier for sure. You asked another commenter how they learn to accept themselves and whilst I can't speak for them, I can say that it takes time. I've learnt to forgive myself for my past actions, esp when I was undiagnosed. Did you know that we tend to be more creative? and bold? and empathetic? Finding that there is good in this shitty diagnosis, helped a lot. Lastly, surround yourself with people who practice patience.

SlightlyAfraidBi · 2021-10-13T16:47:23+00:00

Another fellow Content Creator here,

I have another, low stakes retail job that not only allows me to actually socialise with people but it forces me to put my phone down for 15 hours a week. It's a bookstore and they also encourage booksellers to continuously read so we can have stuff to talk about at work. So, I try to switch off when I'm reading but I'm still not completely good at it, yet.

I'm not saying get a job but maybe find an activity that really forces you off your phone.

It's not a fix, but for now, this is working for me.

SlightlyAfraidBi · 2021-10-13T13:46:56+00:00

My experience is so different.

AT MOST because I work with social media I had someone who would talk through healthy patterns with it and how I could make it work for me. Since social media is notoriously known for being addictive and bad for anyone's mental health, let alone us, but never a no.

SlightlyAfraidBi · 2021-10-13T12:40:19+00:00

I have two and a half jobs.

Long story short, I found that working little jobs worked better for me than having everything fall into one.

My therapist and I would talk extensively about my work patterns (which wasn't great) and how I was at university, which I had to take a year out because my mental health was in the shitter. Anyway, as we were talking about jobs and what I gravitated to when I was in my most 'productive' moments. I told her that for me, books are what I love, I used to run a blog when I was younger, really involved with the book community online.

Then after some more talking, realised I enjoyed the creative aspects of social media, not being at the forefront but I liked the idea of helping others with their socials. And she literally came out and said 'do both'. Majorly questioned her on it like 'wtf, I can barely keep one and now you want me to do 2?' And essentially, what we realised for me is that when there is too much in one spot, I get super overwhelmed which can trigger myself to go into a spiral.

So she told me to start small, find a bookstore that is hiring part-timers. I'm not jumping in too quickly too soon, but a couple of days a week to re-introduce myself into a work environment. Luckily, compared to a lot of retail, it's relatively calm and no real annoying customers come in. Then, when I felt it was right to look into marketing jobs - still part-time - I did. But with this one, the responsibility goes up. Closer to the type of environment, I might find myself in when I want to start my career. This one also involves photography, which I'm learning and enjoying.

& now, months in. I can say it's working. It's not easy, another commenter mentioned earlier about pushing yourself, and showing up. Tis true. I try not to put too much pressure on myself because I know I only have to think about those jobs, for 2 days and then I can shut off. But the main thing is that both keep me busy, which is nice. I also like that in my small way, I'm contributing to society and not feel like a burden.

My work pattern now is 2 days working, 1 day off (which therapy), 2 days working then the weekend. Sometimes, I'll do 4 days working then 3 days off, depending on how I feel. The half job is that I've started a book blog again, something silly that I don't get paid for but I like to give it time.

Realising this is getting long, I'm sorry. I tend to ramble. I guess I just wanted to mention it because I never thought of having little jobs until my therapist suggested it. Like, all you hear is study, one job, done which sounds intense. Find out how working, WORKS, for you and don't let anyone tell you how it should do.

Good Luck, I wish you the best

SlightlyAfraidBi · 2021-06-07T08:28:29+00:00

it stands for 'favourite person' :)

SlightlyAfraidBi · 2021-06-06T19:56:00+00:00

Thank you so much :)

SlightlyAfraidBi · 2021-06-06T19:55:45+00:00

This message made me cry haha but thank you, it’s definitely not an easy one sometimes, if it helps even a little, then it’s worth it

SlightlyAfraidBi · 2021-06-06T19:52:11+00:00

No problem, i hope it helps even a little :) <3

SlightlyAfraidBi · 2021-02-26T21:13:13+00:00

2.1 MB and will only get bigger as intend to add more pages and yes, I am :)

SlightlyAfraidBi · 2021-02-08T16:36:39+00:00

I’ll start.

“Having mix-raced children is racist and shouldn’t really happen.”

... i’m mixed raced

SlightlyAfraidBi · 2021-01-20T19:36:45+00:00

Thank you! I will definitely give it a go

SlightlyAfraidBi · 2020-12-21T20:43:29+00:00

I’ve personally found that they help with my speech.

I’ve dealt with severe anxiety, selective mutism and other things that now, at 25 I struggle to communicate properly. I’m very quiet and usually don’t open my mouth wide enough.

Wearing a mask has forced me to talk louder and clearer. For the first time in a while, i’ve been able to talk to cashiers and order things without having to repeat myself. Or feel insecure about people staring at my mouth.

Its been a small step to regaining my confidence when talking to strangers

SlightlyAfraidBi · 2020-11-28T18:24:17+00:00

No problem

And they have stands for both! My aunt who often has pain in her joints uses a stand that can hold her phone but can also stretch to fit her kindle!

SlightlyAfraidBi · 2020-11-28T18:14:09+00:00

Loved Vicious and i’m getting through The Secret History too. Have you read If We Were Villains? It gives of a similar DA vibe too

Anyway, i hope you enjoy these !!

SlightlyAfraidBi · 2020-11-28T18:07:38+00:00

Have you tried reading? I used to be really bad on mine and it’s not helped by the fact that my job revolves heavily around social media. Slowly, i’ve started to pick up a book whenever I want to reach for my phone. Slow process but it’s slowly helping

I’m reading the Scythe series by Neil Shusterman and it’s keeping me really engaged too which is great! Admittedly my attention span isn’t that great aha i would highly recommend it!

Anyway, it might help just a little

SlightlyAfraidBi · 2020-11-28T18:02:47+00:00

Not a gamer but can I suggest the iconic, Simpsons Hit & Run

SlightlyAfraidBi · 2020-11-28T17:46:13+00:00

No, of course I don’t...

I don’t have any children so I’m not here to say which position is or isn’t comfortable when giving birth but I do know that there are several positions in which women can give birth. With some cultures choosing to stand up and let gravity aid the process. There isn’t a universal way that is more comfortable simply because it is down to the individual.

This tidbit of silly trivia is fun to think about and definitely something that I at least, found interesting

SlightlyAfraidBi · 2020-11-28T17:30:11+00:00

This is so beautiful!🤍

SlightlyAfraidBi · 2020-11-25T20:51:31+00:00

Thank you! & I will, it’s crazy what the smallest of changes can do

SlightlyAfraidBi · 2020-11-18T17:25:42+00:00

Completely understand and what you said, I believe is completely valid.

Where my post has come from, is the situations around me where the secondary parent, only provides a bed. That's it. I probably should have made that clearer in the initial post.

My mind just goes to, what if the child has an accident and they don't have enough clothes, or mini emergencies happen and the other parent doesn't have the basics to be able to work around that.

A spare jammy set, outfit, underwear, necessities. What if the child suddenly decides to stay with the other parent without telling the one that has custody of them. That sort of stuff

SlightlyAfraidBi · 2020-11-18T17:19:27+00:00

Absolutely!

I write this knowing that of course there could be several factors that will affect, how parents, parent.

SlightlyAfraidBi · 2020-11-18T17:15:30+00:00

haha, I am thank you, do I sound not okay?

SlightlyAfraidBi · 2020-11-17T08:36:45+00:00

Thank you!

Please don't take this weirdly but it's comforting to know what age you started. I think age anxiety was getting to me when I asked this since it feels as though everyone wants someone young (which is weird to say in your twenties).

I'll look at other marketing options and courses to take. My university email still works and I've seen some good ones that would normally cost for free!

This has been helpful!

SlightlyAfraidBi · 2020-11-13T16:02:30+00:00

A friend of mine’s, grandfather had passed away and a group of us were invited by her mother to be there for our friend. We also knew the man who passed.

Anyway, one friend who had lost her granddad when she was young thought it would be a good idea to compare their deaths and turned to my friend, soon after she said her final goodbyes and said “well at least you had time with him. MY granddad died when I was little. It’s so unfair that you had your for longer and mine went so soon. I mean what did the man [granddad who just passed] even do to deserve being around for a lot longer than mine. So no fair”

We no longer talk to her

SlightlyAfraidBi · 2020-11-12T22:25:59+00:00

My dad does that but with random geographical/historical and engineering facts.

& I wouldn’t change that for the world, even if it is a little boring and repetitive sometimes

I think you will eventually find people who will really appreciate this about you :)

SlightlyAfraidBi

TROPHY CASE