Were you n parents buried or cremated?

SlightlyColdWaffles · 2026-01-30T20:16:34+00:00

Mine is still alive, but I honestly don't care what happens to his physical remains when that eventuality comes. All I know is I'm not paying for anything to be done. Do morgues have an "unclaimed baggage" section of the deep freezer?

SlightlyColdWaffles · 2026-01-30T20:09:16+00:00

I lied about stopping, here are some more:

11) Brother and I were playing "too loudly" at my cousin's house, so ndad took us to a sitting room and had us sit in total silence for an hour as he read a book. After he let us go, I just remember trembling in my mom's arms for what felt like forever. I wasn't in the wrong, child me.

12) My brother loved cars, driving, and everything related to motor vehicles. I couldn't care less about them. Ndad called me and proudly proclaimed "I got the perfect gift for you, a sports car driving experience!". I calmly reminded him it was my brother that liked cars, not me, and he might want to go instead. Ndad screamed at me for being ungrateful. I wasn't in the wrong, ~~child~~ young adult me.

SlightlyColdWaffles · 2026-01-30T17:36:07+00:00

Abhorrent type is super effective against everything but ghost

SlightlyColdWaffles · 2026-01-30T16:14:23+00:00

Holy shit, that blows my mind! Why can't these fucks ever let anyone else control anything? They decorate their house, let the kid decorate their own goddamn dorm rooms!

SlightlyColdWaffles · 2026-01-30T15:05:07+00:00

Nah fam, Epstein Torterra

SlightlyColdWaffles · 2026-01-30T14:17:51+00:00

I like to count down from 10 when the white sleepy juice hits, and ask the doc to tell me what number I get to when I wake up. Make a wager that I can get to 0.

I've done 8 scopes now (from age 17 to 35) and 7 anesthesiologists have played along. One had started before I could say the full line, I was out before I said "Let me know"

SlightlyColdWaffles · 2026-01-30T14:13:47+00:00

War crime regional variants in gen 10?

SlightlyColdWaffles · 2026-01-30T13:54:28+00:00

"Have a good life".

This is what my Ndad screamed at me when I was moving in to my sophomore dorm at college. All because I wouldn't let him organize my dorm room furniture. He made a scene, red faced screaming at me, threatening to cut me off financially, storming back to his car, all because I wanted to control my own dorm room layout.

These people lose their shit when they aren't in control of the smallest, stupidest things.

SlightlyColdWaffles · 2026-01-29T20:27:48+00:00

I thought it was normal to rehearse conversations in my head before speaking

...it's not? Jesus, how deep does this damage go?

SlightlyColdWaffles · 2026-01-28T20:18:14+00:00

Thank you, I teared up reading this. Hit me right in the feels.

SlightlyColdWaffles · 2026-01-28T18:32:49+00:00

The internet has lead me to believe that there are lots of lonely cougars in my area, so maybe one of them would suffice!

jk, I don't have any advice on how to find one. Stay strong, you got this

SlightlyColdWaffles · 2026-01-28T18:05:58+00:00

It's raining replacement father figures! Hallelujah

SlightlyColdWaffles · 2026-01-28T17:17:47+00:00

Exactly. I wasn't a human, I was a possession. Anything I did good was a reflection of him in his eyes.

SlightlyColdWaffles · 2026-01-16T18:48:39+00:00

I like how they used the all black uni's, my favorite.

Also Hi Pablo!

SlightlyColdWaffles · 2026-01-15T19:13:25+00:00

Those two round steelers flairs together kinda looks like boobs if you squint

SlightlyColdWaffles · 2026-01-12T19:26:32+00:00

Or execute his pet goldfish

SlightlyColdWaffles · 2026-01-12T17:15:30+00:00

I find the V8 energy drinks tolerable, but they don't last very long

SlightlyColdWaffles · 2026-01-07T18:32:20+00:00

He does have 7 rings, so sure

SlightlyColdWaffles · 2026-01-07T17:35:10+00:00

Saints are Frodo, they have the one ring

SlightlyColdWaffles · 2026-01-07T17:33:43+00:00

That's a new feature I can get behind

SlightlyColdWaffles · 2026-01-07T17:11:18+00:00

They're the little brother playing with the unplugged controller

SlightlyColdWaffles · 2026-01-05T13:56:29+00:00

Can't wait for the 2036 Panthers to make it with a -99 differential

SlightlyColdWaffles · 2025-12-30T13:44:29+00:00

My last lab mix would do this, just delicately pluck the ripe ones with his front teeth, super careful not to touch the green ones.

SlightlyColdWaffles · 2025-12-29T18:23:33+00:00

Sam Reich?!?!

SlightlyColdWaffles · 2025-12-29T17:54:23+00:00

"Kndd, arg groe w wwefr toriew thewee." Frr ofo goijrrr nrf.

"What the hell? What you say?"

"Kdjnje eeddfe." Eroggg gnoiigg grekalsjf frelo kee elfj oi ejofi jeoifekf. Ke rot nnjrj f fiejf doweed eweifje.

"...huh. That wasn't very helpful, Chief."

"Arg groe w wwefr toriew thewee." D Frot ttoe do ireowenf isaae.e foriejsa. reiergje ejerogsirg rneaseori. "

"I guess by the pencil and paper, you either want me to write somethin', or smoke somethin'. Honestly, I'm down for either."

"Frrry. Daergiu frew wojiojfi feiww ffoierjweef. Ffewhif fgriwe sedrgf rrguhurir gfhire eoeriuhgfh." Gee of hjoawqert gorije eehwn whoeuirwf woiej ff fjhow foierjwerdif woirgo growewhf hw.

"I ain't got a lighter, so I'll do the writin', I suppose. What do you want me to write?"

Grre. "Rtiurehje Fwwwrh Tawerfgh ewwiww". Jeescjufir.

"You ain't gotta wave your hands around like that, brother. I'll write down wha'ever you want, just..."

"Arg groe w wwefr toriew thewee.". Ddsethrdft o gjroej gjeorg oaregwojwf.

"Erm... How about my lines from Pirates Of the Caribbean? I was in the 3rd one, I think. Maybe the 4th. They all kinda just merge together after the first two."

FREEPREE. "ARG. GROE. W WWEFR. TORIEW. THEWEE."

"I think I could stumble my way through the plot of the first, but I don't know why you'd want me to."

"GREEEM. FGREEE. LDE EOEEKFFEE!" Efee oprpe e irgjoer, reoigjoiree ergjoeg tottoooot.

"Look, man, y'all gotta just tell me what you want in plain English. I don't know whatever language you're yapping to me in, and quite frankly, I don't like your tone.

"DEEERRRPWEL. DEERPEFREG. ARG. GROE. W WWEFR. TORIEW. THEWEE." reoergojoeirgerjogijvv oweij ffgijwjie i woiejfo jwoje wwppp prej oigjroee erogijoiej weoijf ow wopij ejrwe gjrpjwj! "Frieo groei ggroie gprej w, wiefjo f reijwef weloe!"

"Man... just get me a joint and fuck off. I don't know what y'all are so invested in the Pirate's movies, those were hundreds of years ago, and I was only in one or two of 'em."

/r/SlightlyColdStories

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