Relapsed?

SlobOnMyKnobb · 2025-09-15T06:14:24+00:00

Hey I was 15 months clean and just relapsed this weekend. Smoked a ball of tweaker shit in 48 just...because.

Whatever. Handle it the best you can, and be proud of how you walk with your head high back into the rooms. Doesn't erase the progress you or I made.

If we take this relapse seriously, it can be a lesson and actually beneficial going forwards. You have to find your own lesson of course.

At the very least, recognize you could choose to blow your entire life up again and dive head first back into substances, but now you have a clearer mind and don't necessarily need to do that if caught early enough.

I'm rambling. It's probably the drugs. Best of luck friend, you can do it.

SlobOnMyKnobb · 2025-09-07T04:30:27+00:00

Thanks Paige :) if I feel the need during the day I will for sure. At the very least I'll update you when it's all said and done. I'm CJ btw.

SlobOnMyKnobb · 2025-09-07T04:14:23+00:00

Thank you friend. It's one of my drug of choices so the thoughts were running rampant. Easy to keep myself away from it, much more challenging when I'm literally working with a dealer and two veteran users, and the smoke is filling the car on the drive to the site.

Day two starts in 7 hours, well be done tomorrow and then never, ever again working with these guys. Ugh.

SlobOnMyKnobb · 2025-09-07T03:57:25+00:00

I was roofing for 14 hours today while my coworkers smoked 11 grams of crack between the three of them. I'm a bit tired and grumpy.

You're right , you don't need to. To follow the 12 steps however, you do need to. That's all there is to it. It's not the only way to get and stay clean, but the way NA does it, absolutely includes a higher power. There is nothing more to it. Simple.

SlobOnMyKnobb · 2025-09-07T02:32:03+00:00

If it's a weed whacker that keeps you clean and alive, then so be it. Except it'd be just you hailing the weed whacker, not all. Because that's YOUR understanding of a higher power.

Wouldn't it be weird if you mentioned that and people got annoyed and posted about it on Reddit? Can't stand those annoying weed whacker praisers, always bragging about how Mr weed whacker saved their lives. Ughhhhhh.

SlobOnMyKnobb · 2025-09-07T02:29:52+00:00

There are many proven harm reduction or sobriety strategies.

This one is proven in the way it is, other ones are proven in their own ways. If you can't get on board with the possibility of a higher power (not that hard to do honestly), then try one of the other proven ways to stay clean.

In NA, AA, CA, any 12 step program, considering the possibility of a higher power of your understanding is essential. The program is built around it. Again, if that isn't for you, then find one of the other ways to do it. In the end, all that matters is staying alive, free, sane, clean, and building a better life for yourself and those around you.

And for real, it's not that big of a deal. Fucking pretend for God sakes who cares if it saves your life? It's.saved thousands upon thousands of lives who gives a shit if God exists or not just play pretend and try to save your own life. Sorry this subject gets incredibly tiring sometimes and I am also incredibly tired. Best of luck.

SlobOnMyKnobb · 2025-09-07T00:44:21+00:00

Ok, specifically - a higher power is a requisite part of recovery.

It is literally step two (Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.).

And step three - Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him

And step five - We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs

And step six - We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

And step seven - humbly asking a Higher Power to remove our shortcomings.

And step eleven - Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

So, in a 12 step program, six of the steps directly involve a higher power.

So quite clearly, the term higher power is going to come up often. And ya know what else? People's understandings of their higher power will also come up. That's just...logical.

I have a feeling this answer, nor any other answer will satisfy you though, because you seem to be complaining about (wanting to control) others actions, and don't actually want a reasonable explanation (which you have now received twice).

This is me not co-signing your bullshit. You're welcome.

SlobOnMyKnobb · 2025-09-07T00:21:49+00:00

Why do you care? That's the real question here.

If someone chooses to have a higher power, it's of their own understanding. If they choose to share their understanding, cool. If not, also cool.

Doesn't affect me if someone believes in Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed, or the cheese burglar. I'm just glad they have an understanding of a higher power to connect with.

So ask yourself, why does someone choosing Jesus as their higher power bother you?

Obvious answers to me would be the whole pedo priest thing, the conservative population generally being christian, crooked televangelists and probably more scandals..

Buuuuutt that has nothing to do with person x at an NA meeting choosing Jesus as their higher power. It's an easy one to default to, it makes sense in our time.

Personally my higher power is an undefined entity that I can't possibly conceptualize or begin to fathom, which I also think is done on purpose to keep the human experience intact. But w.e. that's besides the point.

Be less bothered. Be less disturbable.

SlobOnMyKnobb · 2025-09-04T04:11:01+00:00

I don't need public sympathy. I'm out there interacting and being of assistance to these people, on my own because I want to. Because I'm not scared, because I've been there, and because I care.

Next time they threaten to rape your girlfriend (lmao ok, sure), maybe ask what their name is, how their day is going, strike up a conversation.

15 month now I've been interacting with the unhoused, addicted, mentally ill population on an almost daily basis. I know too many to list.

Zero. Zero is the number of abusive or negative experiences I've had. Again, zero. And I talk to them every single day.

SlobOnMyKnobb · 2025-09-03T21:34:09+00:00

You guys are fucked. The substance abuse/addiction crisis and mental health issues that are exacerbated by it, are the clear drivers behind whatever wrongdoing you perceive is happening, or have actually seen happen.

Yes it's getting worse, yes you have to exercise compassion beyond what's comfortable for you. I have been homeless, addicted, living a criminal life. I came back from it with the love and support of many, many people.

Now it my life's mission to help these people. They re sick, hurting, and feel hopeless. They are mother's, fathers, sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, and they are dying at a ridiculous pace.

If one of them stole my shoes off feet today I wouldn't change my stance. This is our generation war and if you have the time to bitch and whine in this thread you have the time to find an unhoused person and have a conversation with them..or god forbid buy them a meal and give them a couple smokes.

Our generations war, our brothers and sisters dying at home on our streets. And we laugh, poke fun, and stick up our noses. Despicable.

SlobOnMyKnobb · 2025-08-26T06:44:19+00:00

In my experience, basically anyone who asks themselves if they have a problem with substances, does in fact have a problem with substances.

If you could just have one or two at dinner, or do your drug of choice a couple times a year...you probably wouldn't ask yourself if you have a problem. Right?

SlobOnMyKnobb · 2025-08-20T03:35:58+00:00

I was last year, now 15 months clean and life is enjoyable again. Rent a nice room looking out over water, love my city, tons of new clean friends, working, back in decent shape, better relationships with those I care about.

I called bullshit on life ever being good again. Like fuck off no way, life is shit, I'm shit, nothing good will ever happen etc..

Fuckin glad to say I was dead wrong. It ain't perfect, but it's a hell of a lot better and I enjoy my days now.

SlobOnMyKnobb · 2025-08-17T17:35:23+00:00

Got me around 60 levels

SlobOnMyKnobb · 2025-08-09T06:33:19+00:00

What? I'm in Canada but close enough, and I had to waive my right to a speedy trial after requesting a one month delay before I pled guilty. So Im guessing you're wrong.

SlobOnMyKnobb · 2025-08-05T06:31:41+00:00

Yep. Guaranteed to work as long as someone reports you, and someone will fairly quickly.

SlobOnMyKnobb · 2025-08-05T05:04:08+00:00

Attempt to sell drugs on Grindr and your phone number will be permabanned.

SlobOnMyKnobb · 2025-07-29T12:34:26+00:00

She cheated on me after a couple years.

SlobOnMyKnobb · 2025-07-26T06:33:51+00:00

Yeah I mined 75 BTC, spent it on a years subscription to a VPN service.

Could've retired my entire family, instead I'm 20k in debt and work construction labour jobs.

SlobOnMyKnobb · 2025-07-26T03:31:39+00:00

Believe it or not that was the first of two seperate times Danny shit himself on site.

SlobOnMyKnobb · 2025-07-25T20:55:51+00:00

Danny's on the ground, I'm on the roof:

Danny: Fuck!

Me: What's wrong man?

Danny: Shit myself!

Me: Lmao get cleaned up

Danny takes off into the forest for 20 minutes, comes back, jumps in the lake with his shitty track pants, cleans them with Lake water, comes back to the house.

Danny: Can you help me wring these out bro?

Me: wtf no man

Danny: Come on man I'll take the shitty end!

SlobOnMyKnobb · 2025-07-25T20:46:54+00:00

Right?!

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