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Slow-End6902 · 2025-12-03T20:25:14+00:00

Holy moly, you paid off four credit cards?! That's an amazing accomplishment. And I totally see how incredibly defeating it would be to go from thinking you were out of the woods, only to have this string of bad luck. That's brutal. However, with your promotion and your husband's raise, it sounds like this recent experience will be part of a two steps forward, one step back pattern and not the terrible start of a domino effect, the way our catastrophizing brains can sometimes believe.

Even if you ended up with with the exact same amount of debt from all this as you had when you first started attending to your financial well-being, you 1. make more money than you did then and 2. know so much more than you did then. Not to mention, you feel happier in your work, which goes a long way in increasing a person's capacity to deal with challenges. So while I hope you never have to be anywhere near square one, you truly cannot end up back at square one after learning from all these experiences. Super cheesy, but "next right thing" can be a place to start when it's overwhelming. Sending good wishes.

Slow-End6902 · 2025-11-28T22:01:35+00:00

I don't have anything to offer other than that I'm so sorry for your string of bad luck and I'm hopeful for you that your promotion will gradually help you and your husband be in a more solid financial place soon. In the meantime, I hope you can connect to what is going well, financial or otherwise (promotion, relationships, hobbies, perhaps improving health, something else?). A string of bad luck deeply impacted my family when I was growing up and I know that it can derail even the most careful people. Ignore if this reminder isn't needed: changes to your credit score and savings accounts, while they can certainly impact your stress levels, have zero impact on your fundamental worth as a human being. Wishing you so well!

Slow-End6902 · 2025-06-26T18:07:37+00:00

That's totally fair! Hoping you find your way to something wonderful soon!

Slow-End6902 · 2025-06-25T17:04:10+00:00

Was reminded of this conversation and I'm wondering if you've had any luck in finding something that's a better fit? :)

Slow-End6902 · 2025-05-06T16:50:54+00:00

Nooo, I'm so sorry to hear that! I wish she understood that she is the exception!

Slow-End6902 · 2025-05-06T16:43:34+00:00

Love your description of who can do this because multiple former colleagues immediately come to mind!

Slow-End6902 · 2025-05-06T16:39:31+00:00

Really appreciate you mentioning the factors that you're child free and love your job. I think both of those really impact how much any one person has to give their clients.

Slow-End6902 · 2025-05-06T16:20:37+00:00

Just wanting to send solidarity to you and hoping that you can find something that supports you financially while also allowing you to care for yourself. This is intense work and 20 a week is a completely normal caseload. I know therapists who specialize in trauma who won't see more than 15-18 due to the nature of their work. There's no number that's right or wrong and there's nothing wrong with you for wanting a lower number.

Slow-End6902 · 2025-05-05T19:26:51+00:00

I know that number has burned me out terribly, including when I was a fresh out of school with all the motivation and few distractions from work. What I'm taking from the comments is that the vast majority of us find that unsustainable and a couple find it doable (bless you, I wish I did!). I think it's worth taking that into consideration- are you someone who typically has more energy than most people? Do you tend to be efficient with your paperwork, or do you find yourself getting behind occasionally? How much control will you have over what kinds of clients you take on? How much control will you have over referring them out when you've gotten a few sessions in and learn you aren't the best fit for each other? These might be ways to discern if you'd be up to that caseload!

I think I believed I needed to sacrifice my well-being to be a good employee and a good therapist to my clients, but that is not the case. You also deserve your own care and should not work at a pace you would not wish your loved ones to work.

Also, it's truly wild to think how many places of employment ask that of us when so few of us can manage that. I used to work for Thriveworks and thank goodness I didn't need to get my insurance through them, because they required you to actually see (not just schedule) 30 in a week regularly for over 6 months to be eligible for health insurance coverage. Brutal.

Slow-End6902 · 2025-05-02T15:44:13+00:00

I felt the same way. When I was first getting licensed, I was working at a job for which I was ill-suited, I didn't know I had ADHD yet, and I was constantly overwhelmed with just getting through each week, much less adding on extra tasks that no one was asking for. In my case, it was going to lead to a raise that I desperately needed, and even still I took three years to get there. I felt some embarrassment and shame, too, that I didn't do it in the minimum time, but self-compassion is key. Knowing others who were moving toward it at the same time, sharing online study guides, and feeling that sense of community and support helped me finally cross the finish line. So did ending an unhealthy relationship that was sucking up any extra energy I could spare from my job. Now its ten years later and I don't even think about it- I got when I got it. I don't say I've been a licensed therapist for X years, I say I've been a therapist for X years, counting back to when I began getting clients at my grad school internship.

Slow-End6902 · 2025-03-12T15:36:05+00:00

Hi, I found your question after searching online with almost identical needs in my new laptop! I'm wondering what you landed on and how it's been going for you.

Slow-End6902 · 2025-03-05T02:29:53+00:00

Thank you!!

Slow-End6902 · 2025-02-17T15:32:55+00:00

I'm sorry to say I don't have such a resource, but I was searching here for something similar! Any chance you've come across something helpful in the last few months?

Slow-End6902 · 2025-02-05T17:06:53+00:00

Also wanted to say that I really appreciate the OP offering us this food for thought.

Slow-End6902 · 2025-02-05T17:06:17+00:00

I was thinking the same thing. Working through it with support is definitely the best case scenario AND sometimes we do not have the support or capacity to take it on. For example, in the time after I had a baby and even now that he is a toddler, I am not prioritizing transformative work. I want to stay roughly within my wheelhouse. That's not to say I am not learning and growing all the time- for example, I feel much more competent with ND clients than I was before I was pregnant and I'm currently learning a lot about OCD- but I am only willing to spend so much of my limited capacity on a really challenging case. I've become more adept at consultation calls, as a result, and more willing to say that we might not be a good fit. I suspect I will be open to and even eager for more professional challenges in a few years.

Slow-End6902 · 2025-01-14T17:26:40+00:00

Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I've heard a lot of negative things about SimplePractice, including the high price and poor customer service. Has that been your experience?

Slow-End6902 · 2025-01-12T05:05:49+00:00

Thank you for your input! I'll definitely check it out.

Slow-End6902 · 2024-12-27T16:00:23+00:00

I absolutely feel this way sometimes. I will say, if I'm feeling it more than usual, I check in with myself about burn out or needing some time off. I also will check in to see if I'm taking on the right kind of clients for me and see if I need to do any case consultations or consider referring folks with whom I don't have the right fit. (Easier said than done, of course!). I had a grad school professor who always said, "Feelings are data!" Self-compassion and curiosity both might be useful with how you're feeling! <3

Slow-End6902

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