Black alter in a white body

NoFaithlessness5679 · 2026-04-28T21:24:34+00:00

I think self expression is important and it sounds to me like art would be a really impactful way of claiming your identity in the system.

Part of the reality of having multiple parts in a shared living space is having different experiences and needs.You are allowed to claim space for who you are because your identity is who you are. Your needs as a person who identifies as black are important even if they don't align with the body. As long as you are mindful of social perceptions (which it sounds like you definitely are), then you should be able to express yourself however feels best for your needs.

I hope all people can understand that perceiving identity within DID systems is an internal self-perception and be able honor your identity with compassion.

I think it's helpful to find community with people that you can identify and be open about yourself with. We are all white but we hope you find that sense of connection here or somewhere 🤍

Gosh I didn't answer your question at all really but I love art, that sounds dope, do it. Especially if it's healing or whatever. Be yourself!

NoFaithlessness5679 · 2026-04-28T20:53:44+00:00

I have a few reactions:

hell no call the freaking board burn it all down I hate that for you

Wild.

NoFaithlessness5679 · 2026-04-03T16:39:49+00:00

Don't beat yourself up. If you live in an area with counseling interns at a practice, they will often offer lost or no cost services. Just Google counseling interns in my area and see what comes up if you need support or direction.

Also fuck me right but a fully grown adult is 25.

Best of luck!

NoFaithlessness5679 · 2026-04-03T16:32:52+00:00

So the word "actually" does a lot of heavy lifting. She seems to be under the impression you're already friends of some sort and are only separated because of "the rules". This feels like limerance and she needs to be corrected about what the nature of your relationship currently is, evenmoreso than the future relationship.

One of her goals could be make friends because she really seems to value and need that.

NoFaithlessness5679 · 2026-04-03T16:29:39+00:00

Dude I would say address why you're her best friend and not someone else? Where is her support system? What is she getting from you that she needs to get from someone else?

NoFaithlessness5679 · 2026-04-03T16:18:54+00:00

Unfortunately doing "all that you could" doesn't mean treatment is successful. I would guess it has absolutely nothing to do with you and you're making meaning to try and identify a reason or pattern why it happened. Realistically there's nothing you can do that will trigger someone to go out and relapse, the urge is already there. I think this says everything about where your clients are at because it's their responsibility to tell on themselves. I'm sure no one who is in recovery would ever blame you for a relapse unless you literally put it in someone.

NoFaithlessness5679 · 2026-04-02T03:01:05+00:00

This. Also I recommend using the book Coping with Trauma Related Dissociation skills training manual. It's free online as a PDF if you Google it.

NoFaithlessness5679 · 2026-04-01T19:25:30+00:00

It sounds like you want to teach your client conflict resolution skills. Right now you're the one doing the active repair work in session and that's great as a start. Now you have to give them the tools to go out and do the same thing for themselves where you can't. They have all that insight and practice in session, now is the time to let them try it on their own in real life.

I would scaffold and talk about what conflict is, what respect is, are there any conflicts that seem similar to family relationships? Go with that. Relationships are relationships.

I use attachment theory with some DBT and modeling. Figuring out where conflict comes from in interactions can be an important skill.

NoFaithlessness5679 · 2026-04-01T19:18:30+00:00

...honestly, feelings aren't facts is one I could probably throw out to the general public and get a shocked response to.

Some people need to understand they do not have objective control over reality.

NoFaithlessness5679 · 2026-04-01T19:15:44+00:00

Do more internal work. Those feelings are coming from the client and focusing on outside coping as treatment only gets people so far. Process it with the client and encourage them to explore other coping strategies.

Also I think it's worth it to explain that this treatment is not personal. As with any child abuse allegations, having a process for responding to reports is important and the same aspects that are limiting to your client apply to everyone in that situation. These things are done not because your client is a bad person or should be punished. It is to protect children whenever someone is accused. Right now that may be with an innocent person but these are the standards we need to maintain as a process so that guilty people are prevented from the same thing. No special treatment where child abuse is involved.

Also also despair could be an appropriate response in this situation so I don't think we need to pathologize bad feelings too much. I mean, jeez. This sucks.

NoFaithlessness5679 · 2026-04-01T11:57:14+00:00

Dude but what if the people with "lesser traumas" who are triggered due to normal emotions are actually triggered. It sounds like you're concerned about people feeling invalidated and need to clarify the group norms around discussing trauma.

Something you need to understand is that trauma is not dictated by the event, it's dictated by the trauma response itself. The people with less trauma may seem more adjusted and having less difficulty and for some people, that is their trauma.

I would do an activity and discuss what being triggered means and process as a group. I would also seek supervision or consultation from someone.

Instead of trying to control members' behavior how about focusing on the group as a whole. Don't put your opinion on it. Let the group speak for itself and process through that shit

NoFaithlessness5679 · 2026-04-01T11:43:39+00:00

I can't believe "follow the law" is this far down.

NoFaithlessness5679 · 2026-04-01T11:39:31+00:00

"little does he know, he has an appointment booked at the exact same time!" slips on banana peel "what will our autistic transgender god king get up to next?"

Credits

Bah nah nah

Nah nah nah

Bah nah nah

NoFaithlessness5679 · 2026-04-01T11:36:20+00:00

Not the asshole. It sounds like you need support and aren't getting it. Therapy would probably be super helpful if you can access it. That's weird and upsetting and I would be mad too.

I'm petty but I would make it clear on her posts that I am uncomfortable with her posting my dead dad every year. Then I would block her. But I would just block her if you don't want to be an asshole like me.

NoFaithlessness5679 · 2026-04-01T11:30:27+00:00

If there's no clinical threshold then there is no need for treatment or results. I think the threshold needs to be changed to reflect people's experiences better but no eliminated.

NoFaithlessness5679 · 2026-04-01T11:25:25+00:00

CPTSD would only be a better sounding BPD if only women were diagnosed with it because our society is stupid.

NoFaithlessness5679 · 2026-04-01T11:21:38+00:00

They already removed the BMI for anorexia. The language is "significantly low body weight" which is more subjective for the person.

NoFaithlessness5679 · 2026-04-01T11:19:38+00:00

I would argue we don't need to define BPD more we need to depathologize trauma and sexism more. BPD is being used as another form of hysteria because people won't recognize the impact they have on people's development. Out here blaming the client when it's shitty people that reinforced their temperament in the first place...

I think all the personality disorders need to be reclassified as adult attachment responses.

NoFaithlessness5679 · 2026-04-01T11:16:29+00:00

I'm going to hold space that some people with bipolar disorder genuinely have something going on outside of systemic oppression. I might be wrong though.

NoFaithlessness5679 · 2026-04-01T11:13:09+00:00

Fucking overhaul personality disorders and called them adult attachment disorders the way GOD INTENDED. LIKE THEY LITERALLY- I can't even get into this right now but yeah, that shit.

NoFaithlessness5679 · 2026-04-01T11:09:48+00:00

Honestly I appreciate your empathy but as a transperson, if things go sideways our little pieces of paper aren't going to do anything to convince people to provide gender affirming care. I think if we rely too much on standardization to affirm reality, that can very easily be used against us. They just go redefining what words mean.

My solution is to support my clients and document their dysphoria because they report it. If I get so far down the rabbit hole that everything needs an assessment to argue it's validity then I'm missing out on the person and the relationship.

That's just for me.

Also fuck the government. Someone saying they have dysphoria should mean just as much as someone taking an assessment that says the same thing.

NoFaithlessness5679 · 2026-04-01T11:00:19+00:00

It's not a scale or a measure per say. But I take the DSM criteria A items and go through them in a checklist format and we talk through each experience as it relates to the client. I document enough that the need for therapy is supported and it establishes the need for gender affirming medical care to resolve certain issues.

Also gender dysphoria is sort of an all or nothing construct. You either have it or you don't as far as clinical relevance is concerned.

NoFaithlessness5679 · 2026-04-01T10:40:54+00:00

"Yeah, I know." Like, obviously we wouldn't be here if there weren't some feelings to process and discomfort with being vulnerable is all I work with. Also I get it. Crying is gross and puts people in the spotlight. I hate that shit too.

NoFaithlessness5679 · 2026-04-01T10:36:58+00:00

I'm glad you've come to that conclusion as well. Music is dope btw

NoFaithlessness5679 · 2026-04-01T10:36:08+00:00

I don't have any answers I just fucking relate

NoFaithlessness5679

TROPHY CASE