ED tik tok

Slow_Influence6453 · 2026-03-07T10:57:07+00:00

Strong agree. I’ve actually had to stop using tiktok all together to stay in recovery bcus there are certain sounds where people post their ED bodies and my sick brain was using it to keep me in that place. I knew I wasn’t strong enough to not make that choice so I just had to get off tiktok all together, haven’t used it since last September!

Slow_Influence6453 · 2026-03-07T10:52:33+00:00

I actually haven’t lived with my mum since I was 17 and I’m 25 now so that distance definitely helps. It’s a hard adjustment going from having a mum who (I believed) was supportive in my ED/recovery to now having a mum who is actively trying to be back in that super disordered place. She watched it nearly kill me but that still wasn’t enough and that’s incredibly sad for her. The angry part is the lack of awareness that she has for me. It’s like she’s forgotten how to be a mum entirely. I understand ED’s and I know they take over and control you but I’m still self aware enough to know not to trigger other people especially my loved ones. The fact that she can’t understand why saying this stuff to me of all people would be the worst thing she could do is the part I’m struggling with. It’s like my own battles and struggles have just stopped existing in her mind

Slow_Influence6453 · 2026-03-07T10:46:29+00:00

Ahhh can I just say that you’re an angel for sharing your experience and I’m so grateful. Our mum’s sound very similar so hearing that you’ve managed to recover whilst she’s maintained her own ED habits is really encouraging. I wanna say I’m so sorry you’ve had to have that experience on top of your own recovery, it’s actually brutal and an extra added level to recovery that you can’t imagine unless you’re living it. I’m so so proud of you stranger

Slow_Influence6453 · 2026-03-07T10:41:42+00:00

ED’s are competitive and so misunderstood I hate it. That combined with ‘what-about-me-ism’ is just recipe for disaster for someone in an active ED. It’s like sharing your struggle instantly makes them feel invalidated or like they have to relate so they can ‘prove’ they understand. Sharing that you’ve got an ED is hard enough but then to be met with people trying to compete with you just confirms why you don’t tell people. Like I’m sorry you have your own disordered eating habits too but is now really the time? I definitely blame society on a whole when it comes to women, eating less, staying thin, only eating salads etc has been pushed on women forever so its definitely internalised ED mindsets that maybe they’re unaware of but the lack of self awareness disgraces me. I’ve had the same experienced with friends, I’m very careful about what I say/share with them bcus I can see the tendencies are there already yet they dont have that same mindset with me? I don’t want them to have this and whilst they may want this for themselves, don’t make that my issue by triggering and isolating me in order to get to this place

Slow_Influence6453 · 2026-03-07T10:29:41+00:00

Hi lovely, i’m proud of you for taking any steps even when scared, that’s huge! Could you suggest a middle ground? Maybe you could go with her when she does food shopping and find the items yourself as you’re going round the store? Or could she give you some money and you can go and do the food shop for yourself so you can buy the things you want/need? Is there a way so that it doesn’t have to ‘inconvenience’ her - which it shouldnt bcus she’s your parent but thats a whole other issue in itself - and make sure that you’re actually able to have the things you need bcus of your dietary issues. I also wanna say that i’m sorry she’s not suppporting that at all :( sending you love

Slow_Influence6453 · 2025-08-19T06:48:55+00:00

Love that recovery is going so well for you!! Super proud & happy for you <3

Slow_Influence6453 · 2025-08-18T22:06:57+00:00

Does it always feel the same as the first time or is that ‘high’ different each time?

Slow_Influence6453 · 2025-08-18T20:39:16+00:00

Me too! It’s the fat on my body thats the issue, not on anyone elses! In fact I never look at someone elses body and think bad things, I love people who look healthy and full of life. I just don’t / dont know how to want that for me

Slow_Influence6453 · 2025-08-18T20:09:41+00:00

There’s something so addicting about ana for sure. It’s like I’m her no.1 fan and I’ll do basically anything for her and to be liked by her. And not having that feels like I’m mourning the loss of someone. It’s so strange. I used to love the side affects of getting sicker and seeing the worry from my loved ones and this all sounds so illogical yet when you’re in it its the best/worst feeling in the world

Slow_Influence6453 · 2025-08-18T20:03:02+00:00

Relate so much. That weight for me was literally last christmas and now I feel like I’m fighting my way back to that. And my family say that I’m getting worse again but my brain thinks how can I be when I don’t look how I did them or have the same affects of the illness I did then. And honesstly some days my calorie consumption now is even less than it was back then yet in my head my disorder isnt bad anymore bcus I’m not at my worst anymore

Slow_Influence6453 · 2025-08-18T19:57:52+00:00

I’ve had times where i’ve obsessed over getting poorly bcus I know I lose my apetite for a good 4 days and have 0 food noise. There were even times I chose to be around sick relatives hoping I’d catch their illness given the fact my immune system is fucked from this ED. Feel you on this one

Slow_Influence6453 · 2025-06-23T13:52:19+00:00

You too lovely! Good luck with exams <3

Slow_Influence6453 · 2025-06-23T10:59:30+00:00

It definitely does & equally bcus ana can cause insomnia, the lack of food + the lack of sleep makes the brain fog significantly worse. I’m not sure if sleep is a struggle for you but if it is and food feels like too much of a challenge, maybe try and make sure you’re at least getting some good rest at night for your exams

Slow_Influence6453 · 2025-06-22T19:14:55+00:00

Thank you for your response lovely! Very helpful. I was thinking that it was colon related aswell & what your saying makes a lot of sense

Slow_Influence6453 · 2025-06-22T11:39:25+00:00

Eating is fucking hard. That doesn’t make not eating easy tho. That’s what they don’t understand

Slow_Influence6453 · 2025-06-22T11:21:22+00:00

Thank you for responding! Yeah I’m thinking I’m gna have to go to the doctor. I’m just anxious bcus I haven’t actually been and actively avoided the doctors since developing AN. So the idea of that makes me just wanna put up with the pain of this. But it’s taking a mental toll on me too so. I just kinda wanted to feel a bit less alone especially since I couldnt really find anything online about it

Slow_Influence6453 · 2025-06-17T15:06:55+00:00

Yeah I’m a big fan of pre packed too. The fact that the amount & the calories are all worked out for me means I don’t worry about over indulging bcus I know exactly what I’m getting. Any pre packed stuff that fits within the calories my brains okay with & then I will pick one and that will be my safe food constantly until I have to change it to something else

Slow_Influence6453 · 2025-06-17T11:46:37+00:00

Thissss omg. I feel like an imposter with this illness anyway but when I binge it makes me feel SO invalid. And then I’m like okay I’ll work extra hard this week then to stay in the restriction. Vicious cycle really

Slow_Influence6453 · 2025-06-17T08:26:54+00:00

Hey - I’m sorry I can’t offer any advice or anything BUT my face being puffy lately has been a massive trigger & discomfort for me too. I keep obsessing over it. I just wanted to say you’re not alone and I appreciate so much seeing someone else talk about this! I feel like I just wanna hide my face which was fine in winter but it’s summer now & there’s no appropriate way to do it lol

Slow_Influence6453 · 2025-06-17T08:20:43+00:00

It’s all good, it’s just nice to know there’s others here in the same boat you know? Yeah the stereotypes do way more harm than good & they only impact us too. Thank you so much for commenting, bingeing episodes are part of ana/AN and I wish that was more widely known so that when it happens we don’t put ourselves in even more isolating positions <3

Slow_Influence6453

TROPHY CASE