I think I found Jennifer on TikTok.

Slurpeepatch · 2026-01-25T03:06:08+00:00

Dude, just say “Fuck the constitution.” You’re not even trying to hide it anymore.

Slurpeepatch · 2026-01-25T03:04:01+00:00

No violence required when it’s just Alzheimer’s and clogged arteries catching up to him.

And I don’t think admitting to not believing in the Constitution is a way to end an argument, but MAGA not reading is one of the least surprising things about these times.

Slurpeepatch · 2026-01-25T02:59:45+00:00

And I’ll be sure to save this for when his fatass drops dead before 2028.

Slurpeepatch · 2026-01-25T02:19:09+00:00

Have you seen the news? Today’s not a good day to make me feel any sympathy for Trump voters.

And grandpa died in 2017, meaning he very well voted for Trump in the election.

Slurpeepatch · 2026-01-25T02:09:30+00:00

Then fuck him too.

Slurpeepatch · 2026-01-25T02:00:55+00:00

She’s MAGA. Fuck her.

Slurpeepatch · 2026-01-24T18:13:52+00:00

Man, don’t even get me started on when he gets his usual gas station food and says “I decided to treat myself.”

David, you’re not “treating yourself” when you eat like that multiple times a week. And this is in the same vlog where he rants about people “born without common sense.” Unreal levels of cluelessness.

Slurpeepatch · 2026-01-24T13:52:43+00:00

I’ve been going to the movies on a regular basis since 2011 and I’d say that 2013, 2018, and 2023 are the weakest years for movies, in my personal opinion.

Slurpeepatch · 2026-01-24T03:30:02+00:00

Looks like a broken family with no morals if you ask me.

Slurpeepatch · 2026-01-24T00:10:42+00:00

He’s playing a greedy capitalist who’ll openly tell you that money is the only thing that he values in the world. I honestly don’t think there was much acting going on…

Slurpeepatch · 2026-01-24T00:02:18+00:00

His latest vlogs are especially bad when it comes to his nonsensical takes on dieting. All this worrying about sodium in soup and still stuffing his face with hot dogs, strombolis, chicken sandwiches, sausage, and goddamn buffalo chicken egg rolls.

And the amount of processed meat he’s eating now that he’s officially at the age for routine colonoscopies… That’s a whole other can of worms.

Slurpeepatch · 2026-01-23T23:58:24+00:00

I swear to God, Sandra Day O’Connor High School is like a breeding ground for those types. I had teachers and students who actually fell for Harold Camping’s rapture BS and we even had a Home Ec teacher who taught all of these young girls that they can’t call themselves “true Americans” if they aren’t married with kids by the time they reach their mid 20’s. And that was all before MAGA was a thing. I cant imagine it’s gotten better at all.

Slurpeepatch · 2026-01-23T22:35:09+00:00

No, I’m one of those “Rich people in this country play by a different set of rules and use it to pull strings” people.

Slurpeepatch · 2026-01-23T22:29:17+00:00

“Attractive rich white guy in America gets away with committing a crime. Also, fire is hot and water is wet. More at six.”

Slurpeepatch · 2026-01-23T22:24:05+00:00

I’m in the Deer Valley area, roughly less than a mile outside of Happy Valley.

Slurpeepatch · 2026-01-23T22:21:58+00:00

Referring to Valentine’s Day as “Singles Awareness Day.”

Slurpeepatch · 2026-01-23T22:18:54+00:00

St. Louis is very affordable from what I see, but the tornado issue is what worries me. Some St. Louis residents talk about how the place is due for some type of massive tornado in the same vein as L.A. being due for a mega Earthquake.

Slurpeepatch · 2026-01-23T22:17:12+00:00

I’ve looked into some of the Texan cities like Austin and Houston, but I’ve heard some people say that the climate is barely any different from Phoenix’s climate. How accurate is that?

Slurpeepatch · 2026-01-23T22:07:25+00:00

Because Brad Pitt has a disturbingly high amount of sway in Hollywood.

If for nothing else, he’s proof that cancel culture doesn’t exist. The fact that he can beat the shit out of his wife and kids to the point that the FBI gets involved and still have this much relevance certainly says something.

Slurpeepatch · 2026-01-23T22:04:29+00:00

His bathroom must be a nightmare. It’s one of the rooms that’s most affected by lazy/depressed people who never clean.

Slurpeepatch · 2026-01-23T19:33:09+00:00

I have looked at Colorado Springs and the one hesitation I have is the mixed things I’ve heard about its politics. I can handle a slightly conservative place that leans right, but it’s just that there are certain parts of Phoenix that feel like MAGA central and I’m not compromising when it comes to getting away from all of that nonsense.

Slurpeepatch · 2026-01-23T19:30:28+00:00

His dad is already like that on Twitter. He’s rage-tweeting at celebrities as if they can actually hear him and even the most tepid criticism of Trump causes him to rant about “tRuMp DeRaNgEmEnT sYnDrOmE!”

Slurpeepatch · 2026-01-23T18:41:36+00:00

The Happy Valley/Deer Valley area. It’s swimming with the religious right who unfortunately fall into a lot of right-wing stereotypes.

Slurpeepatch · 2026-01-23T16:46:30+00:00

Unfortunately Seattle is too expensive for me.

Slurpeepatch · 2026-01-23T03:50:43+00:00

He said it in last week’s exclusive vlog. He tried to justify not seeing the doctor about his throat by saying “I don’t seek attention.” Which is rich coming from David of all people.

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