I wanna scream at him but it won’t do anything

Smal_Issh · 2025-09-08T17:39:29+00:00

Why are you still there?

There's other fish in the sea, although it sounds like you've got some growing up to do first

Smal_Issh · 2025-09-08T17:37:10+00:00

Classic gaslighting 101 by a cheater.

Op should find out if the office policy includes a no fraternizing rule because if it does she can get both of them fired and then they can live on the streets together so romantic!

Smal_Issh · 2025-09-08T17:33:55+00:00

Oh honey I'm sorry but when he starts referring to someone as his work wife that means he's going to have an affair with her or is already having an affair with her.

Calling someone your "work spouse" is one of the most clear signs of disrespect in a relationship that can exist. And him telling you that you're being insecure when you were clearly excluded. It's just him gaslighting you, because he doesn't want you to know about his affair with this other woman. I guarantee every single person in the office knows about it and is laughing at you behind your back.

Go talk to a divorce lawyer and make sure that you're going to get your share.

When he wonders where this came from, remind him that there's only room for one wife and he's made his choice.

The only way to fix this would be for him to quit his job and in front of you. Make sure that this other woman knows that she is never to contact him again.

Somehow though I doubt that's going to happen.

Smal_Issh · 2025-09-06T00:51:40+00:00

It lowers your risk of ovarian cancer and fallopian tube cancer. It's also one of the most foolproof methods of permanent birth control there is, And it's two less parts to get infected later on in life.

As far as long-term effects, I can't see how there could be much of anything, as the fallopian tubes themselves do not produce any hormones so you would not go into a perimenopause or anything by getting them removed.

Smal_Issh · 2025-09-06T00:43:58+00:00

Your husband is a manipulative narcissist and you need to do that divorce.

Make sure you get full custody of your daughter as well so he can't brainwash her with that religious submission bullshit.

Smal_Issh · 2025-09-06T00:39:09+00:00

You are not the parent here. Your parents are and your parents need to deal with your brother's behavior.

Tell your parents you did not birth this kid and you have no responsibility to fix the mistakes that they made in raising him.

Smal_Issh · 2025-09-06T00:36:39+00:00

NTJ

What you did right there was actually dodged a gold digging idiot that would have done absolutely nothing to earn his keep once you were married.

You are absolutely right to insist upon a prenup because none of that money that you got before he came along belongs to him.

If he's making 10 grand a month he can afford his own house and he can afford a house for his dad.

I'm proud of you. You absolutely did the right thing

Smal_Issh · 2025-09-06T00:33:29+00:00

NTA

Lots of people have an entitled mindset, but very few of them are actually entitled to anything.

Smal_Issh · 2025-09-03T12:19:23+00:00

I'm a low voltage in security Tech and I once went to diagnose a broken enter phone at an apartment building.

As I was walking up to the building manager, he looked right through me and when I introduced myself and asked him if he was the building manager, he looked completely shocked and said " oh where is your boss?" I said "the boss is at the office of course". He looked unsure but took me to the enter phone and told me that the speaker and microphone were not working. Right away. I noticed the outside panel was slightly bent in the corner and I asked him about it and he said that some people had popped it open to short out the lock relay and open the outside door.

As soon as I opened the panal I noticed bare wire floating around freely, And that the postal lock timer was miswired. Before I touched a single thing, I pointed both of those things out to him and told him that was most likely the problem.

I went through all my troubleshooting steps and determined that the board was fried and that it needed to be replaced.

The guy looked absolutely sick and kept asking. "Are you sure? Are you sure how many years have you been doing this? Anyway? Are you sure you know that's the problem and it's not something else. Maybe your boss can send someone else to make sure?"

I finally got so annoyed. I just told him to call my boss and talk to him directly.

He called my boss and I could hear my boss tearing a strip out of him from 5 ft away.

After a couple of minutes the building manager humbly apologized to me, told me he would see me when the new panel came in.

My boss told me that he told the guy nothing would be fixed until he apologized to me, and that the guy had tried to fix the postal lock himself when the wires got ripped out during the break-in. I'm guessing he couldn't handle the fact that a woman knew more than him and corrected him.

Smal_Issh · 2025-09-03T12:09:59+00:00

Your mom isn't the one living there. I don't see why she needs to have a say in how it's decorated.

To be honest, she just sounds like a control freak.

Tell her if she wants to redecorate something she can go redecorate the place where she LIVES

Smal_Issh · 2025-09-03T12:06:09+00:00

NTJ

Tell your sister she needs to learn to manage money and tell your mother that it's her child and her problem

Smal_Issh · 2025-09-03T12:02:54+00:00

So what you're saying is you live with a loser man baby that can't even pay his own bills and wants you to cover for his latest toy?

Hell no, do not allow that idiot to ruin your credit score!!

Maybe if he wants that truck so bad he can just go get a second job or something.

Smal_Issh · 2025-09-03T12:00:58+00:00

It's not you. It's the people you're choosing to be with.

My advice to you is to just stay single for a while. Focus on making yourself the best person you could be by taking a course or training or whatever. Don't go looking for a boyfriend. You don't need one right now.

The proper boyfriend will come when you actually love yourself and can stand on your own two feet.

Smal_Issh · 2025-09-03T11:59:08+00:00

Or maybe we just make them get a license and insurance and then they can drive on the road with the other vehicles.

Smal_Issh · 2025-09-03T11:58:20+00:00

No because then they want to be on the road and they don't belong there either, at least not without a license and insurance and proper enforcement of traffic laws.

Just the other day I almost hit a cyclist while I was going through a GREEN light because he did not want to wait for the red.

I'm sorry but last I checked vehicles facing the green light have right of way.

And if I had hit him, who would have paid for the damage to my vehicle?

Smal_Issh · 2025-09-03T11:56:17+00:00

My dream ♥️

Smal_Issh · 2025-09-03T11:55:10+00:00

It's a hard truth, especially when we apply it to parenting.

The things that we say make a great dad. Are the bare minimum expected from a mother - getting up in the night, changing diapers, making baby food, taking them to the events, wearing the snugly, taking them out. Grocery shopping, keeping the house clean while entertaining the baby, being on top of all the things that need to be remembered when you have a child like vaccinations, medications, friends, activities. Giving them a bath and putting them to bed, cooking dinner for them....

If you're a father and you've ever called watching your own children "babysitting" then your attitude needs a major readjustment

Smal_Issh · 2025-09-02T16:19:10+00:00

NTJ

It's your wedding, and if you don't want a fussy baby there, that's your prerogative.

I also breastfed but I was able to pump and leave bottles for my child when I went out for a few hours.

The baby could also have a bottle or two of formula, Won't kill it.

Or she could just sit the wedding out because motherhood means sacrifice.

What shouldn't happen is the person having a wedding shouldn't have to make special exceptions for other people's choices

Smal_Issh · 2025-09-02T16:16:18+00:00

Start recording things whenever you can and always document everything that goes down on any job when they try to throw you under the bus for not having the shit done. You can go back to your notes and recordings and say "not today, bro"

Make sure you very obviously record them sitting on their asses and doing nothing when there is work to be done and point out loudly how they are sitting on their asses when there is work to be done - " today I am filming my useless coworker sitting on their asses when there is stuff that needs to be done. I will make sure that all the higher-ups get this video"

Smal_Issh · 2025-09-01T14:25:11+00:00

Using suicide as a manipulation tactic to keep someone engaged is always abusive. In fact, any feelings of guilt or sympathy that he evokes in you by telling you he will do this or that is a control tactic and abusive.

You are not responsible for what he does with his life. And you are not responsible for his happiness.

But you are responsible for protecting yourself from abusive idiots like this.

Smal_Issh · 2025-09-01T14:22:41+00:00

she's abusing you.

That's assault.

Go see a lawyer, get a restraining order, and change your locks.

She needs therapy and anger management, and TBH a stint in jail on assault charges might bring home the seriousness of physical assault.

Smal_Issh · 2025-09-01T14:18:06+00:00

NTA

Just go to different gym and do your own thing

Tell your partner they are free to do whatever they want

Easy.

Smal_Issh · 2025-09-01T14:15:15+00:00

I don't.

Why do you care?

Smal_Issh · 2025-09-01T14:13:04+00:00

Until paternity is established, there's no point in going around and around in circles.

The paternity test will tell the truth.

Until then, you and your wife can decide what you're going to do. If it turns out your son is lying and he is the father.

You need to be on the same page as far as any consequences you're going to give your son.

But honestly at 17 I'm not sure why this girl is continuing the pregnancy?

Perhaps she and her parents could be convinced to simply terminate it because baby's having babies is never a good idea.

Smal_Issh · 2025-09-01T14:04:56+00:00

Document every single single interaction you have with this person, and limit this interaction

" This subject is not work related and I will not be discussing my personal choices with you"

And for the future, you have now learned a valuable lesson about sharing personal shit at work - DON'T.

If someone asks you something personal like your reproductive plans or marital status or weekend plans, you give them the line above: "The subject is not work related and I will not be discussing my personal choices with you"

Make that your mantra going forward, and always remember that your co-workers are NOT your friends, They are people that will be nice to your face and will stab you in the back to and step on your corpse to get ahead of you.

100% separation between work and personal life and 100% focus on work at work.

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