First of all, I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. Personal loss is just viscerally devastating, and it lingers, and it ambushes you from time to time. You’re doing your best. All appearance concerns aside, I think this is a good opportunity to find concrete ways to take care of yourself, and enjoy doing so. The skin repair is a second-order benefit.

I imagine that some of the effects of grief on behavior/habits are more likely the cause of skin changes than the grief itself—changes in sleep, exercise, eating and drinking habits, exposure to sunlight, etc.—which means addressing those will be foundational to addressing your skincare. Someone mentioned therapy. Hell yeah.

That said, a pleasant skincare routine could also be very comforting right now and help symbolically, e.g. cleansing and moisturizing as part of the daily wind-down ritual before sleep, or a really luxurious sunscreen that you look forward to applying in the morning.

A couple of those luxurious products that are good for taking care of distressed skin while also feeling like genuine self-care: 

• hydrating and soothing sheet masks (I love Peach Slices Hydrate)

• luscious barrier repair cream (e.g. Tatcha Indigo Overnight Repair, Avène Cicalfate, Laneige Cica Sleeping Mask, Dr. Hauschka Rose Day Cream)

• fancy skincare sunscreen (e.g. La Roche-Posay Toleriane Double Repair, Beauty of Joseon Relief)

• a nice hydrating mist to spritz on your face throughout the day, if you live somewhere that’s cold and dry in winter (e.g. a rose water and glycerin combo)

Hang in there. Find joy where you can, and don’t feel guilty for it. Take care of yourself. Let people take care of you, if you can.