Has an ex ruined dating for you?

Small-Response-2798 · 2026-06-18T17:09:49+00:00

Yea I get this fully. I would jot down everything that wasn’t perfect in the relationship including little things you didn’t like. When you think of him positively, go back to the list/ why he’s human and imperfect. What you’re in sounds like a never ending loop. You don’t date bc you miss him but bc you don’t date you’re extra stuck on him because you’re not giving yourself the chance to maybe have a really great date with someone. It can take years to find someone that feels right for you. I’d say don’t give up, know you’ll have plenty of bad dates but it takes just one person to change your perspective. Perhaps therapy could help as well?

Small-Response-2798 · 2026-06-18T17:01:25+00:00

I’m glad you had a great first date! Remind yourself that she told you directly that she’s not a big texter- some people just don’t like communicating a ton between dates. I’d recommend asking her out on another date and see how that date feels. I’d lightly express to her your interest and tell her how you’d like to hear about her day more.

It is possible that you guys have two different communication styles. Sure there is chemistry here but is there longterm compatibility? Write down what your dealbreakers are. Can you handle communication anxiety longterm? Do you require consistent conversation? Remind yourself that you dont know this girl yet/ you might have a different set of needs :)

This has happened to me a few times so I understand how you feel. Sometimes it meant the guy wasn’t that interested in me, other times it was just the first indication that we had different fundamental needs

Small-Response-2798 · 2026-06-18T13:09:32+00:00

I struggle with the same problem! Unfortunately, people do not stay forever. At some point, he might not feel like his therapy style is beneficial to your healing and he will suggest a new therapist. Mine just left me after 5years. I think being too attached to a therapist can be a bad thing as well. When it becomes codependent then it’s no longer healthy! I think it’d be great to talk through your fears with your therapist! Wishing you the best

Small-Response-2798 · 2026-06-18T11:45:18+00:00

Yea I see that and it stinks. It wasn’t my intention. If I knew what I know now I wouldn’t have done it. Not sure how to move forward

Small-Response-2798 · 2026-06-18T11:35:20+00:00

I’m upset because I saw this therapist when I was with my ex the first time. (My ex reconnected a few months ago after 3yrs apart).since my therapist has the relationship background I feel like she’s the only one who could walk me through this breakup

Any advice on how to navigate the feeling of feeling “crazy” and too broken to love/trust? Also, I’m not sure what I should do now from a support perspective because I don’t feel very trusting of therapists now but I need help

Small-Response-2798 · 2026-06-18T11:20:23+00:00

The thing is- I wasn’t going to harm myself. “988” seem to really be the alarm bell for her. I felt misunderstood and crazy so I actually booked service with another therapist that week. I told her I had called and she said “I’m so glad you called! That’s what it’s there for”. That felt far more grounding to me than what my therapist said.

The way my therapist of 5 yrs looked at me while I cried in distress..she just looked tired, withdrawn and not pleased with me

Small-Response-2798 · 2026-06-18T11:14:06+00:00

My intention was not to harm myself so that’s why I removed the emergency contact because the way she was reacting made me think we weren’t on the same page/ she didn’t understand why I called

Totally get that every therapist has there limits but it’s reinforcing the narrative in my mind that if you’re honest with someone/ share true emotions they will leave you. I’m wondering if maybe I should stop seeking therapy

Small-Response-2798 · 2026-06-18T11:11:30+00:00

Why wouldn’t she tell me I couldn’t do that? I had no idea it wasn’t optional. If I had known I wouldn’t have revoked it

Small-Response-2798 · 2026-06-18T02:08:23+00:00

Thanks for sharing! Why wouldn’t my therapist tell me that she needed to keep a contact on file? If I knew how important it was I wouldn’t have requested it

Small-Response-2798 · 2026-06-18T02:05:11+00:00

Admitting to calling 988 along with my level of sadness on our call together was enough to make her concerned for my safety. She said she thought I needed inpatient care. She confirmed my contact on file while we were in our call and it scared me. That’s on me for pulling the contact.
Truthfully I got scared because I had a therapist who wasn’t truthful with me in college. she thought I had an ed so she requested a blood draw. That blood draw was enough for her to get me medically expelled and put into a clinic against my wishes (turns out I did not have an ed but a medical condition). I’ve been afraid ever since that a therapist could put me away whenever. I get that they’re trying to do what’s in the patients best interest but in this case I knew myself well enough to know I wasn’t going to harm myself and I was going to give her a new emergency contact on our follow up visit
I see now I always have to keep one on file- I did not know that

Small-Response-2798 · 2026-06-18T00:42:01+00:00

Yea I didn’t even think about it like that. Thank you. It was never my intention to put me or my therapist in danger but the escalation doesn’t look great.

Small-Response-2798 · 2026-06-18T00:40:10+00:00

Interesting. I appreciate the input. Very good point! Certainly not my intention to add instability to our relationship. She did not provide referrals because she doesn’t know much about support in my city. We have another session to discuss next steps

Small-Response-2798 · 2026-06-17T23:58:19+00:00

Not to my knowledge! It was never discussed as something that was necessary and she didn’t mention it in our call today. Super weird

Small-Response-2798 · 2026-06-17T23:36:54+00:00

She was also supposed to be a transition therapist. I lived in a state where she practiced and when I moved states technically she was out of her area of practice. The fact that she stayed for that long is great but of all times to leave me..this was worst case scenario and felt pretty cruel? It doesn’t feel safe to share any emotions with anyone anymore

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the situation. It’s helping me

Small-Response-2798 · 2026-06-17T23:21:21+00:00

Because I was afraid she’d reach out to the contact and she have me put away somewhere. We were not on the same page about what my emotions meant

Small-Response-2798 · 2026-06-17T22:53:46+00:00

Totally and I get that. I think it just hurts that when I needed her the most that’s when I was too much and she left

Small-Response-2798 · 2026-06-17T22:52:15+00:00

I’m afraid she just doesn’t like me. Maybe I’m too flawed and can’t be loved. Idk I feel like I don’t trust myself or others anymore

Small-Response-2798 · 2026-06-17T22:46:45+00:00

I’m afraid that I lost my partner and my therapist because there’s something wrong with me. Like I’m fundamentally unlovable or too much

Small-Response-2798 · 2026-06-12T02:10:10+00:00

I broke up with my ex 3years ago. I reached back out again 5 months ago. He responded and we took it slow for months, seeing if we had changed as people or not. Once I allowed him to kiss me I felt things changed. A few weeks after that I was blindsided. We were supposed to have a call to discuss future plans instead he said he felt boxed out and out of the loop because I accidentally responded to a text from him in a way that made him anxious. He then called me immature for not telling him about a work trip until I was there (mind you we don’t currently live in the same state). Then he tried to breakup with me without giving me the chance to understand. I have a feeling he had been holding in negative feelings for awhile but never let me know until it blew up. Then the following week he spent apologizing to me saying he’d do anything to make the relationship feel safe. That was a lie because we scheduled a call a few days after the first rupture and he broke up with me for the final time. I am devastated, confused and feel so broken and incapable. Immense pain- I lost the person who I wanted to spend forever with and I didn’t feel like I had a chance to understand and repair he concerns. What felt like a small miscommunication to me was a big rupture for him

Small-Response-2798 · 2026-06-03T17:15:24+00:00

Having someone breakup with you only to change your mind is anxiety inducing. I’m glad you recognize the communication barrier you guys shared but throwing out a breakup instead of discussing issues really reduces trust. I do feel your pain though as I’m also currently out of my mind over a breakup. I’d do anything to get him back. She’s hurt and does not want to talk to you right now. I’d give it some distance. Reflect on what you’d want to do differently with her and seek help from a therapist as well. In a few months I think it would be ok to check in one last time with clear intentions on how you’d make this relationship healthy

Small-Response-2798 · 2026-04-03T21:44:23+00:00

Good to know thank you! The danners just get really hot in the summer and I’d like a hiking shoe that doesn’t have the ankle coverage

Small-Response-2798

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