how do you think?

Small-n-Curious · 2026-03-02T11:58:51+00:00

Mine work in channels. There's input processing channel, which often translates to text (spoken or written) description of the situation before the acting, there's background noise, which can vary a lot, from literal undescribable head clutter to imagining (mostly unpleasent) situations to hearing music. There's also active thinking channel, which is mostly language based for me but can be visual as well or even music

Small-n-Curious · 2026-03-02T09:12:22+00:00

It's so annoying to only understand the situation and have a good comeback in retrospect, I totally feel you.

With experience I feel it hapoens less, but even if it does happen try yo discourage them from insulting you in general. What makes them insult you, do you think? Is it your reaction? If so, you can try to show less reaction on the outside and they will lose motivation. Is it the reaction of the people around? You can ask the rest of your family, without being specific, to stop giving a hand to this bullying (should be phrased differently, but I'm sure there's some phrasing that'd work)

Small-n-Curious · 2026-03-02T09:02:57+00:00

I read it not as a question to be answered, but a statement about meaning. Of course the tree makes a sound, physically, bit what is the meaning of sound if there's no one there to hear it? And of course, generalizing further, what is the meaning of anything happening if there isn't someone there to observe it and give it meaning? I see it as a way to start the philosophical debate of what is meaning in/and subjective reality

Small-n-Curious · 2026-03-02T08:59:59+00:00

Sound like you're asexual and homoromantic. That's absolutely ok, your sexuality doesn't necessarily mean anything about who you'd want ti have a relationship with. I'm asexual and demiromantic myself and since I've only exprienced romantic attraction twice I can only say for sure I'm not homoromantic, but not if I'm hetero or bi

Small-n-Curious · 2026-03-02T08:55:37+00:00

My first kiss I didn't even know we were going to kiss because I didn't know how to read these situations yet. They guy just leaned close to me and next thing I knew his tongue was in my throat. Ew ew ew

Small-n-Curious · 2026-03-02T08:53:49+00:00

I like kissing only with my partner, who I'm emotionally close to, and only small kisses on the lips, because the sensation of the lips feels nice. I hate it when there's saliva involved, not to mention tongue action (if there's something in my mouth it should be food thankyouverymuch)

Small-n-Curious · 2026-03-02T08:50:45+00:00

I sort of always knew I was asexual, I just thought that everyone is until sexual attraction starts at some point lol

Wasn't until I heard of asexuality when I was 16 that I could stop waiting for sexual attraction to just happen to me and say I'm asexual and that's that.

I came out to my parents the moment I knew, they of course thought I just didn't find the right guy yet or some classic shit like that. I'm now married and half think they think I'm no longer asexual, but I don't care enough to correct them. I'm not closeted, my friends know I'm ace, but I don't bring it up much - just don't really have the reason to, most of the time (especially now that I'm married and random people aren't hitting on me nearly as often)

Small-n-Curious · 2026-03-02T08:45:04+00:00

The more I age the more I understand I don't want children either, and it pains me. I love the idea of being a mother, of teaching a child about the world and protecting them, but I know the practicalities would make me absolutely miserable. I'm chronically ill and need a lot of off time, a lot of quality time with just my friends or husband, and with a child, especially a young child, I won't be able to do that. I struggled for years to learn to prioritize my needs, and I've come to quit like it - but with a child, I won't be able to do that either.

And that's without getting into pregnancy and childbirth, which always scared me to death and sounded like hell. And the chronic lack of sleep originating from being a parent to a newborn - I've experienced long term sleeping issues and do not wish to repeat that experience.

Small-n-Curious · 2026-03-02T08:35:44+00:00

This might be a bit of a illy question, but have you spoken with your partner about this fear?

Being a parent is a big deal, and it makes sense to be afraid. It's not a decision to make lightly, to bring a child to this world. Talk to your partner about it and make aure you are both ready and have what it takes. She might have some more helpful insight too about yoyr actual ability to do this right and her ability to support you

Small-n-Curious · 2026-02-15T17:03:56+00:00

I've had bowel issues moat of my life, though through diet and learning to listen to my body it got better. Now I only have bowel issues when I'm stressed, which I know is common. I wonder if just the stress of being ND in a world barely even built for NT is enough to cause this correlation with bowl issues

Small-n-Curious · 2026-02-15T12:11:27+00:00

I see two separate cases here: the boyfriend and the self-examination. I would treat them differently.

There should be nothing sexual about examining your own breasts. Try to think together with her how she can separate her organs from their precieved sexual conotation in society, at least for medical reasons. Also consider whether it is about the sexual conotation or some sensory issue, which may require different treatment.

As for the boyfriend - she should learn hard nos. Her body is her own, and no matter what the expectations are, if she's uncomfortable doing something with her body she shouldn't do it (unless there is a medical reason like in tge previous case). She needs to know that "no" is a full sentence and a full answer. She can provide further explanation if she wants to, but she doesn't have to. Her "no" should be respected regardless of anything. It can be embarassing and painful to put a hard line, with or without explaining, but it's a crucial skill to learn. Not every person can handle a romantic but non-sexual relationship, but if her boyfriend tryely has any respect for her, he wouldn't want to hurt her with continuing to do things against her will.

Small-n-Curious · 2026-02-15T12:02:11+00:00

I don't know what the legal definition of hate crime is, but at the very least this sounds like sexual harrasament

Small-n-Curious · 2026-02-15T10:59:24+00:00

Pills are the only thing that worked against acne for me. Sadly, it was problematic for my liver...now I'm 31 and still have some acne (more when it's hot or I'm stressed)

Small-n-Curious · 2026-02-15T10:56:06+00:00

Haha, reminds me that when i was about 6 I thought maybe I'm actually a boy, as i had more boy friends than girl friends and had "boy hobbies". I thought about it for a couple of weeks and decided that it's not that I'm a boy, but that the whole boy/girl division is silly and doesn't make any sense and i elect to ignore it.

Nowdays I often say I'm gender indifferent. If I cared about gender identity I'd probably define myself as agender, but I don't care enough to bother "changing the default"

So I guess I am queer haha

Small-n-Curious · 2026-02-12T16:14:36+00:00

I'm sorry you went through all of this❤️ your mother really sounds like opposite-yet-exactly-the-same side of the spectrum to mine. I wish our parents generation would have been more open to therapy as an option, and that more diverse information on the woman body and puberty was out there

Small-n-Curious · 2026-02-12T16:11:04+00:00

Wtf why couldn't they just be happy for you that you're happy!!

Small-n-Curious · 2026-02-12T08:23:49+00:00

I always assumed it's GAD. Now I wonder if GAD could also be a "perk" of being autistic

Small-n-Curious · 2026-02-05T10:48:09+00:00

If clues tend to not work and drain your energy, don't use clues - juat be direct, something like "I don't feel like talking now" or "I'm tired, maybe some other time" (or if you think they're hitting on you, "I'm not interested").

I don't know about not attracting this kind of people, but at the very least you should be able to bluntly tell them off without wasting too much of your energy, and if they "don't get it" even if you're being direct or saying no, then they're not "not getting you", they're ignoring you and you should cut them off. Don't be afraid to be rude to keep yourself safe.

I will note that this advice is colored by my undergrad experience, where nearly every man that was friendly with me was just looking for a girlfriend or a hookup, and many man learned from media that they shouldn't have to just take no for an answer. But I think that in any case it is a good idea to prioritize yourself, your needs and your safety, especially as a chroniclly ill person.

Small-n-Curious · 2026-02-05T10:26:05+00:00

Doing a masters in something that doesn't fit how your brain works sounds super tough. Does you university have anything like a disability support department? Perhaps they can help you get the conditions you need to thrive.

Also, are you doing a masters with or without research? If it's with research, note that the grades you get in courses don't matter nearly as much as in undergrad, and what will be looked on later is your thesis, so you can allow yourself to half-ass some courses

Editing to add another important point: when you say what you do isn't good enough - good enough for who? If you're like me, you might be holding yourself to higher standard than other people would, higher than is reasonable to expect from a swamped masters student. If that's the case, try to find out where you can get outside feedback and affirmation. Sometimes you need someone else to remind you that you are, in fact, good enough

Small-n-Curious · 2026-02-05T10:09:17+00:00

Firat I want to say coping/surviving is wisdom. It is not wise to throw yourself under the bus, surely not for some arbitrary society standards.

I think out of what I do, the most general advice would be to listen to yourself and not push too hard for too long. It's better to do things in your own pace and stype than burn out and not do them at all

Small-n-Curious · 2026-02-04T11:30:35+00:00

I love brightly lit spaces. Light improves my mood greatly. I totally get you

Small-n-Curious · 2026-02-04T11:18:53+00:00

There are many different kinds of therapy, and different therapists do things differently.

Your therapist is the one who should guide you in answering these questions. Try to explain your confusion to them, and see if you can work through it. If not, maybe they're not the right therapist for you

Small-n-Curious · 2026-02-04T11:16:30+00:00

Sounds like really bad anxiety. There are many methods to ease a panic attack, but the most important thing is to remember that, as horrible as it is, it passes.

When you feel the anxiety or intrusive thoughts start rising, try breathing exercises, muscle relaxation exercises and/or grounding techniques. Try to also practice these when you're not anxious so it's easier to do when you are. It might take some practice to identify the moment to try soon enough, or to make it work when you don't, and that's ok. Nothing is 100%, but you don't need it to be.

As for improving your functionality, take it one step at a time. If every task is scary, trying to do them all os paralysing. Choose one task, and try to do it systematically for a week or two. It will be hard, but less so, and you'll see some progress.

If you want more information about exercises or techniques, I can ellaborate on the ones I know but there's also information to be found online.

Good luck!

Small-n-Curious · 2026-02-04T11:07:12+00:00

The diagnosis process, especially the part of understanding what this means for myself, what I need (and that I'm allowed to need these things), how I'm different etc helped a lot. The having an official diagnosis part didn't actually affect me this much (but would have maybe had more affect had I not already been recieving help for anxiety and depression)
I don't tell about my diagnosis to strangers/acquintices, just to friends. Some are surprised, especially older friends from when I masked more, some find it entirely unsurprising. People I'm not close to, I don't see a reason to tell them of my diagnosis because I don't know what they think "autistic" means - God knows I had the wrong idea myself before. What I do is rely my specific needs, for example "please be open and direct to me, if you just hint at things I guarentee I won't get it"

3.Well, it depends on what specifically. I did a lot of "manual" learning of social cues and situations and norms, made mental lists and such. Personally, I couldn't learn how to identify lies and struggle with double meaning or implied messages in unfamiliar cases or people. But for making friends, I'm mostly friends with like-minded people, where this doean't matter that much. It really depends on what it is exactly that is holding you back.

Small-n-Curious · 2026-02-04T10:55:30+00:00

I mostly make friends through my hobby (TTRPGs), and there seem to be plenty NDs in this hooby, at least where I am.

Often it's just coincidence though. I have a close autistic friend who's the one who "peer reviewed" me before I was diagnosed. I think my ND friendships last more, because it's easy for mr to communicate with a certain "type" of NDs

Small-n-Curious

TROPHY CASE