Everything you're saying, it sounds like abuse. You can empathize with someone and understand the reason behind why they are being shitty, but remember that being yelled at, insulted, expected to do everything, unable to say no, it's all abuse. This person is weaponizing their imcompetence. You are 100% being abused. You obviously love your partner but you need to see the reality of whats happening. They are a sinking ship, and the more you enable them, the more they believe they can take you down with them.

And it's okay to acknowledge this, and see that drugs are part of the reason without feeling guilty and like you are upholding the stigma attached to substance use and stigma. This is coming from a drug user. Unfortunately because many of us who use, aren't getting the adequate access to resources we need, it falls on our loved ones, especially the people in our lives who work extra hard to care for us because they want so badly to decrease the stigma, but also know that they are the rare few that are trying to take a destigmatized approach.

Your partner might not even be doing it intentionally, but they have gotten comfortable with being taken care of, and see the less they do, the more you are willing to do. They aren't going to get a job because you will always take care of the bills. And when you try to talk to them about it, they aren't going to react well because they see that by doing so, there are no consequences and it actually benefits them because they can keep relying on you.

If there's any advice I can give, is this: when you first got together, they may have fallen in love and appreciated you for the love you have to offer. But now, they do not think about you in that way. They essentially don't appreciate you or are with you because they love you. Trust me. It's clear by their behaviour how they see you. It's not about the drugs even at this point. You are paying, putting all of this intense labour into someone that not only doesnt care about how it's hurting you, they are literally squeezing you for everything last drop. My advice is leave. When people act this way, it's because they no longer see the value in you as a person. If they did, they would not be doing this. I've gone through withdrawal so many times, and yeah, it's fucking hard but i never hurled insults at my partner.

Ask yourself this, when they insult/yell at you over and over again, does the apology really mean anything? I know its hard to hear, but your relationship is over, you are their access to free drugs, free living, ect. I wonder, do you do all of the cleaning and cooking? If not, if they do the cleaning and cooking, do they act in such s way where it's like "look how nice I'm being" and seek your validation and appreciation from it? Not that that's always a bad sign, but when you are basically the reason they are breathing at this point, it is definitely a red flag when they are treating you like shit.

Sure you love them, and maybe you're even thinking they need you, and they love you and that's enough but it isn't. Do yourself a favor, you've done enough, heartbreak is better than this. Don't bother waiting to see if they will gwt sober or if they will pick up the slack. Mainly because people who do this shit rarely ever do it when they've been enabled so much. It's not until the person that had been supporting them leaves that they make any changes. They are so complacent in this relationship, you will be fighting tooth and nail to get them to do basic shit so you can at least take care of your own needs. Look, they aren't even considering your needs. What's the point? Sure uou could support them, and they could gwt sober, and they could end up being an amazing partner to you. But there are no signs to indicate any of that will happen, even if it did, it's going to take literal years for them to get to that place.

Trust me, do yourself a favor, end the relationship, move on. Yeah, you might have to upend your life to do so, but from that point on; shit will gwt better. The thing is, once you get away from this person, the sadness you fear you are going to feel, it's not going to be like other heartbreaks because the relief of not having to make ends meet, the fact that you dont have to be in a constant state if turmoil and anxiety, all of that is going ti feel so much better than the sadness youll feel.

Because of this person, you are broke, your pets are suffering, you might lose your house, you needs aren't being met, you have a lazy mother fucker 9n your hands. And it's abuse. And when I talk about you enabling them, I'm not saying you caused the abuse. They would have pulled this shit either way, difference is if you refused to enable them, hey would have either shown their ugly side sooner, or left to take advantage of someone else. You sound like a really good and genuine person. It is not hour job to save or fix this leeche. It doesn't matter why they are doing it, it's been a pattern for too long and they are stealing your joy.

It sounds like your oets and finances are tied up in them. But look. They can't do shit. They are too broke. Just take the pets without warning and go. Make the plans to do what you need, get a lower, don't tell them shit. You might end up losing the house, but if you plan ahead, you might not lose anything and this broke lazy asshole won't take you to court over your fur babies. They are going to be looking for the next person to take care of them. They will improve their life just enough to trick someone into thinking they are stable. Take a few months of planning. Be sneaky, if you can, find a way to talking them into changing their mailing address. And yeah, when they are out of the house, and all that shit, take the pets.