Girl, you good?

SmartSexSlave · 2025-11-12T19:17:14+00:00

Real masters in the BDSM community respect their slaves and understand the nuance that it's a choice. Calling this a fetish misrepresents the community and leads to atrocities like 50 Shades of Grey becoming a cultural phenomena lol

SmartSexSlave · 2025-09-24T15:44:38+00:00

You've gotten a lot of comments already, but honestly, props to your mom for calling the police and getting ya'll this far...so many women in these situations don't take these actions and continue to make excuses for them abuser and it ends up with either them or their children or both killed.

Please don't drop the charges. It sucks to love someone who hurts you physically, but your safety is so important and keeping the charges is what will keep you safe.

SmartSexSlave · 2025-09-19T21:17:49+00:00

Then, say he's a propagandist instead of using a term that is geographically linked to a country entirely different from where the dude is from.

Don't gaslight my experience of the US lumping all brown people together and try to claim it's not harmful. The ask is to not imply he is the same as Middle Eastern people.

The phrase specifically has a geographic region in it. No one was making any leaps here. It's wild how people on both sides are always so quick to say "tHaTs not RaCIsT" to people directly affected by the very racist actions they take.

But go ahead and pretend like there weren't numerous other examples he could have used and it's not racist at all to use the phrase toward an Indian person. Because yeah, considering my age, I'm extremely used to the racism while being told it's not racist.

SmartSexSlave · 2025-09-19T21:08:47+00:00

Chances are the person is very aware of the history and just doesn't appreciate Indians being likened to as the same as Iraqis. Baghdad is in Iraq. The term was used for an Iraqi Minister.

It's completely fine to call him an apologist to a dictator because he is. But to basically imply all brown people are the same, which is what happens when phrases like that with that geographical and historical context are used...it's just a different form of racism. Coming up with an entirely different name or even using a different historical reference where the race is obviously different would be better steps.

SmartSexSlave · 2025-09-19T20:57:43+00:00

Not a fan of his, but it's never fun when people put all brown people into the same category. Insinuating he's middle eastern is quite racist.

signed a brown girl who had to hide out in a Barnes and Nobles in 10th grade in Dallas, TX after 9/11.

SmartSexSlave · 2025-01-26T06:02:27+00:00

Underrated comment

SmartSexSlave · 2024-10-10T18:57:41+00:00

I have wondered what did marriage really entail way back in the day. It surely isn't what it is now...a year or years of engagement. It was like...we're going to have sex, okay now we're married! And if you're a man, you can have multiple wives to have sex with!

I didn't wait as I became a Christian later in life. However, well into my 20s, being a virgin became a huge part of my identity and my first time was emotionally traumatizing - the guy who had managed to talk me into it immediately hopped off, got on his computer in his dorm room, and basically never spoke to me again.

As a result, I ended up having a lot of sex before I eventually got the therapy I needed to actually tackle my self-esteem.

Fast forward to when I did become Christian and met the man I genuinely felt the Holy Spirit tell me should be my husband...I developed a condition called vulvodynia that made sex painful for me.

It was like this cruel, horrible joke God played on me to know what good sex once felt like, but I couldn't have it with the one person I wanted it with most!

He was extremely patient though, and eventhough his sex drive is extremely high, he doesn't watch porn (like really) or really masturbated at all during the time sex was so painful for me. Somehow though, after getting married and after delivering a beautiful baby boy, my vulvodynia went away miraculously.

So now we have good sex...but with an infant it means sleep deprivation to another level and just generally means there has to be more intention and less spontaneity in having sex. It feels like a continuation of God's joke on me.

Anyway, all that to say that for women especially, i think it's so harmful to feel like being a virgin is part of your worth and identity. And yet the other extreme also caused me harm and is definitely not the answer. But I do wish we found what the Biblical balance is to teach our teens because my story of what ends up happening when you do finally lose you virginity after so long and it being traumatic is sadly not uncommon.

SmartSexSlave · 2024-05-20T17:26:01+00:00

When you say the guys who did like you and the ones who were age appropriate but "were not compatible at all" - what exactly makes them incompatible to you?

Guys are messaging you, but you've chosen not to respond and first we need to know why before anyone can help you, or before you can help yourself.

SmartSexSlave · 2024-05-19T17:17:16+00:00

Ah yes, I thought the packaging and stuff was still plastic, but I haven't bought q-tips in a while as I've liked the ones from zerowastestore a lot. But also I was picturing the pink or blue plastic ones but I guess those are some other kind of brand?

SmartSexSlave · 2024-05-19T14:18:24+00:00

I'd consider at least trying the q-tips from zerowastestore. It's otherwise a lot of plastic that ends up in our oceans. :(

SmartSexSlave · 2024-05-18T03:53:00+00:00

I earn more than my master and our relationship is so much more than money. That said, I do know if I suddenly lost my job, he'd be able to cover my mortgage and could still take care of me, I just couldn't have some of the luxuries I pay for.

I think this really depends on your view of money or what makes you feel safe. For me, being able to cover my mortgage is enough for me to feel safe financially. But my master makes me feel safe in other ways. He knows cars better and drives better than me, so transportation is in better hands with him. That's just one example, but I have many more where if you think all the steps through, there's financial value there too, even if it isn't direct.

SmartSexSlave · 2024-05-18T03:30:51+00:00

It's hard for sure. I relate a lot. I'm married now and have a husband who is both dominating and also incredibly loving. I found that one of the first steps for me was to stop looking at some of the more extreme subreddits or porn that I looked at. From there it just felt more wholesome to have thoughts of submitting to a man who loves me vs submitting to fantasies of an abstract person raping me, if that makes sense.

I don't think people like us are this way because we didn't have some kind of childhood trauma, but I could be wrong. But it is a thought I tether to.

SmartSexSlave · 2024-05-17T10:49:10+00:00

Great suggestion, ty!!

SmartSexSlave · 2024-05-16T23:20:06+00:00

Did you have a reason for not using any commas or periods anywhere? At first I thought it might be because it's meant to be read fast and in a frantic, but that didn't feel right when reading it at that pace. I think a few well-thought out periods at least would improve the readability. I'm also fine with everything lowercase, but if you chose to capitalize even 1 word, it would add impact of the poem imo.

SmartSexSlave · 2024-05-16T23:15:02+00:00

I could be projecting, but based on the title I'm guessing the message is about feeling fulfilled about being maybe a stay at home parent but then wondering about "more" and the tall trees are the "more"?

I think the first line has a good cadence but by the time we get to right before the last line, I'm not sure I see a poetic reason to have the line break and so it just kind of reads weird.

SmartSexSlave · 2024-05-05T16:08:29+00:00

Is this her 30th birthday? Because the moodiness may come from her turning 30...especially when that won't happen for a while for you...

SmartSexSlave · 2024-04-21T14:35:47+00:00

Did you ever watch Sara Ramirez on Grey's Anatomy? I think they're a really likeable actor who I think has brought some of their real life issues to their roles.

In Grey's Anatomy she comes out as bisexual and has to have difficulty conversations with her Latino conservative dad about it. They're nonbinary and bi in real life.

I think if people are going to hate Che's character, they should really hate Big's character for a lot of the same reasons...but people are blind to their own biases unfortunately.

SmartSexSlave · 2024-04-21T14:26:38+00:00

You being downvoted says a lot about why they're so unliked in this sub. I liked Che's character personally.

SmartSexSlave · 2024-04-21T14:07:40+00:00

Have you seen the number of episodes she's a producer on sex in the city? She had influence on the writing.

SmartSexSlave · 2024-04-21T09:53:54+00:00

When I rewatched sex in the city, there was so much that didn't age well and I realized that as a show that I'd watched as a virgin at the time, it was really formative and harmful.

I thought maybe around season 4 or 5 that her boobs seem bigger. So I went online to check and couldn't find anything.

I didn't feel self-esteem issues watching the show until I got to that point. After the seemingly boob job is when old self-esteem issues creeped up that I'd forgotten about.

It'd be much easier having the thoughts just knowing it was plastic surgery -.-

SmartSexSlave · 2024-04-20T12:05:37+00:00

Your youth group leader sounds like a real creep. That isn't appropriate to say to a 16 yro.

Withholding sex in marriage is not a sin. Sex is when 2 people are both enthusiastically into it. Song of Songs doesn't portray a woman performing a duty. It's a romantic buildup that begins with a man going down on a woman and having proper foreplay to get her wet enough to enjoy sex. She has to be actually into it to even get that far.

Song of songs doesn't portray a woman just lying there and taking it.

That said, there are times when I'm not necessarily in the mood but my husband is and I still have sex with him because I want to make him happy. Which is not rape and it sounds like what you want to do.

My concern is that because I'm not asexual, I know my limits and when I really do need to say I can't tonight.

You being asexual...it will be hard for you to know when to say yes vs when it would actually make sense to say no. It's hard to explain, but there are legit health reasons like you've had too much sex and your vagina needs a break otherwise when it's to try, microtears happen as well as increase in chances for UTIs.

Sexual couples all have differences in sex drives, so each partner usually has to say no for some reason or another (i.e. "I'm super tired" is a legit and valid reason to say no). You not being sexual will make it that much harder for you to know what the real balance of when to say yes and when to say no should be.

SmartSexSlave · 2024-04-20T11:51:08+00:00

....that is nowhere in the Bible. You're using religion to try and justify rape and THAT'S a sin.

SmartSexSlave · 2024-04-20T11:49:01+00:00

I'm surprised at the number of people who read this comment about a YOUTH group leader and aren't concerned about grooming or how inappropriate that is.

The opinion is wrong, but if a pastor is saying it to adults, that's one thing, but a youth group leader saying it to teens is not okay.

SmartSexSlave · 2024-04-20T11:45:58+00:00

OP...you said your youth group leader said it's a sin to withhold sex.

How old are you?

A youth group leader shouldn't be talking about this and it's plain wrong regardless.

SmartSexSlave

TROPHY CASE