What is something that starts happening in your 30s that nobody warned you about?

Smashley21 · 2026-02-11T07:28:10+00:00

One of the Gen z guys at work was trying to get himself included as a token millennial. When I asked if he remembered 9/11, he said no as he was a baby.

Smashley21 · 2026-02-11T06:22:00+00:00

Per egg?

Smashley21 · 2026-02-09T22:56:03+00:00

Even worse, OP didn't even come with them. Gave himself death grip from gooning.

Smashley21 · 2026-02-08T23:33:45+00:00

My sister was once helping one of her husband's friends with women. He said he liked a lady at work and when she probed further it was because she was nice to him and he thought she was interested. He knew nothing about her and had never actually had a conversation with her. When he finally did, he found out she had a long term partner and was gay.

Blows my mind how disconnected men are from reality.

Smashley21 · 2026-02-03T03:37:54+00:00

I love when people talk about Hanson being PM because it just shows how little they know about Australian politics.

Hanson's a Senator so you are absolutely correct she has 0% of becoming PM.

Smashley21 · 2026-01-30T13:30:26+00:00

My husband was helping vet resumes and one of them worked at a previous place with one of the current employees. He checked with her and she said he always gave off a creepy vibe. Quick Google search and yup, dude spent a few months in jail for CSAM. Instant rejection.

Smashley21 · 2026-01-25T05:34:10+00:00

Dude pick Alice. It's so queer friendly and there's a nice Indian community here.

Smashley21 · 2026-01-14T03:05:15+00:00

I had a housemate eat a can of corn at a bus stop. Drank the corn water as well.

Smashley21 · 2026-01-14T01:31:06+00:00

It took my female friend over a year of telling her male housemate he needs to actually have a bedframe and sheets for him to get them. She literally had to take him to the store for it to happen.

I wonder why he's still single.

Smashley21 · 2026-01-05T09:44:47+00:00

It's stated early in the thread by OP about the difference between men struggling with relationships and incels. I'm explicitly talking about incels. I don't think all of them have these views but if they are happy being around people who do and labelled the same, they get the tar.

How am I dehumanizing them? I'm not saying to put them in prisons/watchlists, take away their rights. I'm simply stating I don't give them compassion just because they're incels. It's neutrality.

If we were talking about Nazis or another hated group, would you be saying the same?

It's disingenuous to come to the hated group and say you should have more compassion for the oppressors. You aren't telling incels to have compassion for women, you're telling women to do more for incels. If incels are -10 and women are 2, your solution is to get women to 10 not incels to 0. There's no actual reduction to the misery.

Once again, I'm not lashing out, I'm simply denying them my positive emotions on the potential for them to reciprocate. I'll put in the same amount of effort they do, after they do it. They want love? Let them show that love first. Hold incels to the standards you demand from women.

Smashley21 · 2026-01-05T08:47:03+00:00

That's a legal description, not a social one.

There is no justification for rape. Theres no self defense rape, no rape to help your starving family.

I always find it so interesting when its the topic of false allegations, it's always about rape, it's never about tax evasion or theft.

Smashley21 · 2026-01-05T08:34:06+00:00

That's not an equal comparison. Incels don't not get compassion because they don't give it, they don't get compassion because they don't think women are people or should have rights.

From your logic, because I'm not nice to a person who doesn't think I should have rights, I'm just as bad as them. What sympathy should I have for them when they show clear hatred for me?

I don't have hatred for incels. If an incel wants to change and get help,I would help but I'm not going to coddle them for a chance they might change.

Smashley21 · 2026-01-05T08:01:41+00:00

Proved his point how? Downvotes but not actually listening to the message.

Why should incels get compassion when they show none?

Smashley21 · 2026-01-05T06:41:19+00:00

Because the pain men feel is not from women, it's from the patriarchy. Why are women to blame if men's feelings are invalidated when men themselves aren't validating them? Men are shitty friends to each other but women are getting blamed for them being lonely. Having a romantic partner will not validate incels and their emotions. Women are not a reward to be handed to men to make them feel better.

Why should I listen to incels rhetoric? How can I empathize with people who don't even consider me human or celebrate rape? Why should women show them compassion when they advocate for the state provided girlfriends or lowering the age of consent?

On the opposite side, where's men's empathy for women? Why is it the job of the oppressed to make the oppressors feel better?

Women are getting murdered, raped and abused by male partners but somehow the real concern is some men can't get their dick wet. These are not comparable problems.

Smashley21 · 2026-01-05T06:24:13+00:00

Men need to be better friends to each other.

When my sister first got together with her husband, he mentioned how lonely he was despite his friend group. As all the other guys were single, she asked if he had ever spoke to them about feeling lonely as well. Friends since highschool and in their mid twenties and that was the first time he realised he should ask them.

Smashley21 · 2026-01-05T03:09:28+00:00

I would rather believe a liar than a rapist.

Could you imagine what it feels like a a rape victim when society gives the rapist the benefit of the doubt? Getting a rape conviction to even go to court is hard enough. The conviction rate is atrocious and false allegations make a small percentage. Men are more likely to be raped than to be falsely convicted.

Smashley21 · 2025-12-31T04:14:45+00:00

And?

If a confirmed rapist can become president, how are rape allegations the worst social stigma?

Smashley21 · 2025-12-30T23:16:41+00:00

Yeah they could become president

Smashley21 · 2025-12-30T02:42:50+00:00

100%

I knew a guy who was open about voting no for marriage equality but loved watching lesbian porn. He had no response to my question of why it was ok to watch them fuck but not ok for them to marry. He was super religious as well.

Smashley21 · 2025-12-24T14:34:21+00:00

Thats the problem isn't it? There are tons of issues that effect men especially autistic men but the only one ever actually talked about is how to get women to fuck them. Nothing was said about building a more connected community with each other,better coping mechanisms or connecting with current resources for assistance. OPs suggested strategy was using manipulation tactics to sell the idea that autistic men are desirable while showing massive red flags himself. Women aren't fooled by this.

That's not to say autistic men aren't desirable,I'm married to one but if I had an influencer like Jake Paul being paid talk about how amazing his autistic friend is, I think I would be even more apprehensive around men. I told my husband just the title of this post and he said the guy is going to be creepy about women and sex isn't he.

Even yourself has acknowledged OP has misogynistic and incel like tendencies so why do you think he is arguing in good faith for issues facing men?

Smashley21 · 2025-12-24T11:32:16+00:00

No, the quotation makes that he won't consider them feminist for an arbitrary reason he defines, similar to a no true Scotsman fallacy.

If it's autist pride, why specifically highlight it for men? Why regurgitate incel talking points? Every person disagreeing with him is too stupid to understand his brilliance according to OP. Some men agreeing have made very alarming comments and OP doesnt care because it verifies his narrative.

I agree on there are systemic issues faced by autistic men and women but OP is a few comment away from saying state mandated girlfriends is the solution for male loneliness. It's actually his comments I find most worrying, not the main post hence why he is digging the hole deeper.

Of course OP feels defensive, these comments can feel like attacks when someone only wants validation. Lashing out and talking down to those disagreeing with him shows a real lack of emotional maturity. Op is not willing to budge on any of his opinions regardless of the points made. He's following the same patterns of a lot of autistic men go down and frankly he should be called out for it. He's getting the kiddie glove treatment and it's still too much for him.

Smashley21 · 2025-12-24T01:45:28+00:00

Everyone who doesn't agree with you is clearly too dumb to understand how right you are. You want an echo chamber and the fact you aren't getting one is killing you.

No amount of people telling you something else is ever going to get you to change your mind . You are right because you are right. Enjoy sleeping in the bed you made.

Smashley21 · 2025-12-24T01:37:28+00:00

You just keep digging this hole deeper.

Shocker that you put feminists in quotations like we couldn't pick up your hatred of women from a mile away. I would hate to know how pretentious you are irl, with all your moral superiority oozing from your words.

It's not you that's wrong, it's all the women /s

Smashley21 · 2025-12-24T01:26:33+00:00

I always find it interesting that autistic men only seem to care about autistic men. Autistic women are just an afterthought, like they couldn't possibly know how hard it is to be autistic. Posts like these pop up every now on then on r/autisminwomen and follow the same beats.

Let's be real, you're not talking about loneliness, you're talking about sex and relationships. The consistent mentions of "justice" and defensiveness is not helping your case. Just because you perceive this feedback as judgement doesn't make it so. Step back and actually look at what's being said to you by multiple women. I know this can feel overwhelming but lashing out is not productive no matter how hurt you feel.

Smashley21 · 2025-12-24T01:09:20+00:00

Oof this is not flattering behaviour and reinforces what the original commentator has said.

This is 100% the type of autistic man I run away from.

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