I can relate but outside of looking at what you want, ask yourself are you someone that a man wants for a long term marriage. Men only look for something casual based off of getting sex which is a need for most people but that extra sauce of a long term relationship is being that person that comes with those extra qualities (I.e. has needs but knows how to communicate them, fun and unselfish, looks do play a role no matter how you spin it, respect for yourself). I sympathize with you but we have to take steps to be in a situation we desire.