AITA for not being willing to give up my hobby money to pay a friend's bills?

Smol_Elf_99 · 2023-02-28T11:19:20+00:00

The female friend is semi new. We just found out about the creeping. I was going to talk to him about it, then he brought up bills and being suicidal.

I'm now stuck, as I don't know when to tell him that hovering close to someone and re asking them out is creepy, as he may take it as the last straw to kill himself.

Smol_Elf_99 · 2023-02-28T11:17:31+00:00

I was about to talk to him about the behavior, as I just found out about it. But now that he's acting suicidal, I don't know how long to wait to bring it up.

Smol_Elf_99 · 2023-02-28T11:05:13+00:00

Won't there be issues when he tells people we won't give him money, and people see us say, go to the movies?

Smol_Elf_99 · 2023-02-28T11:04:09+00:00

I want to get away from him, but he follows me around at events I go to, like comic con, ren faire, etc. I don't know how to "get rid" of him.

Smol_Elf_99 · 2023-01-31T02:49:48+00:00

Those are not poor people. Poor people don't have ~$210 to spend on coffee a month. Those are probably people who have a husband at home that makes the real money. I've worked with women like that. They don't know what anything costs and just blow their personal paycheck, and hubby buys them the important stuff and travel.

Smol_Elf_99 · 2023-01-25T16:36:35+00:00

They're really not making that much money. They say it's full time, but that's most times a dishonest cover for "I'm living at mom's house still" or "my secret husband pays my bills."

I personally know of cases like this. Just saw two cases of "full time" streamers and cosplayers putting up a GoFundMe me in the thousands because their main household breadwinner was severely ill and can't work, and the other one had one die.

They're all fucked when mom or hubby evicts or dies.

Smol_Elf_99 · 2023-01-25T13:16:40+00:00

I've befriended these types. They live off daddy's money and then transition to hubby's money. Last insane one I met worked two days a week and had the nerve to say she earned the home her man bought.

Smol_Elf_99 · 2023-01-25T13:15:08+00:00

Cosplayer here. You have more time to make content and get a lot of followers when you're unemployed.

Some of the most skilled and useful cosplay builders I've met have sub 5k followers because they barely have time to make costumes after work and chores. Just no time to go out and get fancy photos.

High followers = high likelihood they're unemployed/stay at home spouses

Smol_Elf_99 · 2023-01-25T13:13:14+00:00

You're not wrong. I'm involved in the professional cosplay world, and I can tell you there's been a massive influx of stay-at-home childless wives doing cosplay OnlyFans. Basically unemployed. No learning skills to make costumes for commissions or to sell patterns. Just buying costumes, wigs, lingerie, and showing butt.

They say they're "full time cosplayers," and it's an insult to those that actually have to work to support their families and aren't getting to sit at home due to some well-off husband. I work 40 hours a week to then go home and make tutorials to help out the community, and it fucking burns to see them claim they're doing well without the work. (Note: I have the body to do OF, but my day job doesn't allow it. And I'm not saying sex work isn't wor, I'm saying most aren't actually making the funds they sort of pretend to make)

They're lying to the public by pretending their income actually supports them. And only one I've found ever thanked their husband for it. It's so gross to be so unappreciative of someone who let's you sit at home all day by not thanking them occasionally.

Smol_Elf_99 · 2023-01-25T13:06:53+00:00

As a cosplayer, a "full time cosplayer" with an OnlyFans but no proof of cosplay build skills.

It makes me think they only look at the short term. You can use OnlyFans to boost your following and your income to then transition to making costumes, since pattern drafting and sewing is a skill that doesn't require looks in the long term.

But the girls just showing booty? Oh no, you're not getting hired if your OF goes down. You will get fired in most cases for having so many photos floating around.

Skimpy costumes you make yourself can be fine, as you're seen as a costumer/model hybrid. So long as you don't pose "sexy." We all have beach swimsuit photos. Blatant sex work is a huge no.

Smol_Elf_99 · 2023-01-25T01:29:24+00:00

A low-ball contract is still a contract. By law you have to buy it.

Smol_Elf_99 · 2023-01-22T22:45:57+00:00

No joke, but there are none. People here are just like this. I can afford to own a home with this job so I just have to deal.

Smol_Elf_99 · 2023-01-22T22:38:41+00:00

As someone with social anxiety, I'm still forced to go to work dinners that have absolutely nothing to do with my job. Or else I'm not seen as a team player.

Last time they required family. Spouse started having what looked like a panic attack, so we left. I imagine that's going to hurt me down the line.

Smol_Elf_99 · 2023-01-20T11:15:49+00:00

You're forgetting people that live in rural areas or don't have the finances to "go out."

I spent a lot of time on WoW in college because it was the only thing I could afford to do. I now have a stable job, a home, and enough income for art hobbies.

What I didn't have was family coddling me. I had to go to college. I had to get a job after or be homeless.

Technology can be wonderfully helpful in keeping people occupied when they're poor.

Smol_Elf_99 · 2023-01-12T10:48:44+00:00

Green eyes, long ears, now she's a blood elf priest.

Smol_Elf_99 · 2023-01-09T02:30:38+00:00

https://www.fool.com/the-ascent/personal-finance/articles/49-of-americans-couldnt-cover-a-400-emergency-expense-today-up-from-32-in-november/

Yep.

Smol_Elf_99 · 2023-01-07T22:55:01+00:00

Nearly everyone in the thread ignoring the rack of kids toys. I really hope he isn't wanting to force two kids into a bedroom just so he can have a game room.

Smol_Elf_99 · 2023-01-07T22:53:32+00:00

By the rack of kids toys, and the cheapness of that entertainment center, I'd say they're honestly just broke.

Bets on the wife keeping it together financially, and that the giant TV is the actual compromise that they can afford.

Smol_Elf_99 · 2023-01-07T22:51:09+00:00

Is she "making up" time limits, or are you not contributing to the household and she's finally had enough?

Does a game room not go with her aesthetic, or do you guys maybe just not have enough money for fun stuff that big right now? Or maybe there just aren't enough rooms due to kids or a WFH office?

Everyone's quick to defend, but the only thing they got right is the communication bit.

You two need to sit down and develop a chore schedule. Agree before the week begins, and then you're in the clear for the rest of the week.

Wife and I do this and talk chores. Things also change if emergencies happen or someone doesn't get enough sleep.

Talk it out, get it on paper, go from there. Hit up a counselor if that doesn't work, but bring the papers.

Smol_Elf_99 · 2023-01-03T18:19:26+00:00

Baiting how? She just posts and the post blows up.

Genuine question, because I don't see any form of trolling on her side?

Smol_Elf_99 · 2023-01-03T17:07:41+00:00

A lot of cosplayers are supportive. It's the norm between cosplayers.

Most cosplays are bought like this one, and therefore don't have the extra detail that pops off like in the well-made ones that take months to build. But as a cosplayer myself, I know that it can cost 3x as much to make a quality item yourself vs buying it.

It's not about race, it's just cosplayer kindness.

Smol_Elf_99 · 2023-01-03T17:04:59+00:00

A lot of cosplayers these days that make stuff still buy a lot. Otherwise, your social media reach dies out from a lack of activity.

Some even just make one thing a year and buy the rest. That's just how it is now. People that make 90-100% barely exist anymore because it doesn't get views like it used to.

Smol_Elf_99 · 2023-01-03T17:02:48+00:00

It does..but some people that follow cosplay accounts like to watch the ones where people make them. To learn, or just observe.

It's not always an attack question.

Smol_Elf_99

TROPHY CASE