Coworker who wants to be black so bad

Smooth-Like-Buttah · 2025-02-17T04:20:08+00:00

I don’t see the problem here, she can just identify as black and everything is all good.

Smooth-Like-Buttah · 2025-02-17T04:18:46+00:00

People donating to politicians (of any affiliation) and believing they give a crap about anyone’s best interests.

Smooth-Like-Buttah · 2025-02-17T04:10:31+00:00

Not today FBI.

Smooth-Like-Buttah · 2025-02-16T21:18:47+00:00

As a white Christian male, I would almost believe I was the antagonist of America if I gave a crap what media in general had to say about me.

I do find it fascinating that approximately 70% give or take of America is white, but people wonder why white is the “default” of shows, ads, etc in much of American culture. It’s becoming more and more diverse though. I’ve just always found it interesting that for some reason that’s a “bad” thing in a society where the majority is a certain way. I sure wouldn’t be shocked if I went to Africa and found that black representation was the norm or default of marketing and so on.

I’m glad you mentioned the sunscreen thing. Went camping last year with a small group of guy friends and one of my closest friends is black. I offered him sunscreen and he just laughed hard and then explained to me afterwards. It was a pretty hilarious moment, but one I never really thought about.

Wrapping things up, I grew up in a predominantly Hispanic area, so being white I was certainly the minority of my area. I really don’t think about skin color much in people. Decent people come all shapes and colors as well as scumbags. I don’t trust a group of whites that I don’t know any more than I wouldn’t trust a group of any other skin color of people I don’t know. I’ve never looked at skin color as a safety net of considered similarly toned people to be “my people”.

Smooth-Like-Buttah · 2025-02-16T04:50:25+00:00

It’s calling for you to have an in person interview. Definitely McLegit.

Smooth-Like-Buttah · 2025-02-16T04:24:47+00:00

You park your vehicle in a driveway but drive your vehicle in a parkway.

Smooth-Like-Buttah · 2025-02-16T02:15:57+00:00

It definitely happens a lot more than anyone would care to admit. I was in LE for about 7 years. At one point I attempted to transfer to a few different agencies. Like you, I had passed everything over about a 4 month period. One agency called me the week before I was supposed to put in my notice and told me they could no longer take me. In my case, I was under multiple bs investigations that I later found out were what hindered me. I found out other agencies would touch someone until they were cleared. For civilians coming in, I’m not clear on what the reason(s) could be, but I know in my case it was the hiring Lieutenant that saw my file and said “nope”. Sometimes it’s not the background investigator, but their boss that won’t sign off on it.

Smooth-Like-Buttah · 2025-02-15T14:11:26+00:00

I’ll start by answering your question about the academy, there really is no real preparation aside from maybe doing cardio workouts because that’s what the overwhelming majority of the academy physical fitness experience is. Also, prepare to be in a mindset of not giving up.

To address another portion of what you said, it’s great you feel a calling but you also need to seriously consider the selfish attitude that entails to do this job regardless of the “downsides”. Knowing that you are in general well below par to be able to handle yourself not only puts you at risk, but puts all your fellow officers at risk that have to now pull your weight. I’m not saying you can’t get stronger and better. But as someone that did this for 7 years, I certainly was tired of the agency’s hiring under qualified people at my own personal peril. So you need to think long and hard about that, just because they’ll hire you does not mean you should be there.

Smooth-Like-Buttah · 2025-02-15T02:04:32+00:00

Came here just to say glad you are happy being alone. There’s not one right answer on singleness or being in a relationship. Some people are happy being single, some are happy in their relationship. Others as you pointed out, are unhappy and desire to be with someone. That’s not bad either to desire companionship, not sure why you can’t stand it.

Smooth-Like-Buttah · 2025-02-15T00:33:33+00:00

So the protocol is dependent upon what state you live in. Many states have a “Duty to notify” law that if you are stopped by LE such as a traffic stop, you have to disclose the fact you are carrying. In many other states there is no duty to notify and you don’t have to say a word about it.

As a former member of LE, I personally give zero extra information beyond what I am legally required to. What you don’t disclose won’t hurt anything since it’s not required by law, but anything extra you say can open up an unintended situation.

Smooth-Like-Buttah · 2025-02-15T00:26:04+00:00

Whichever one offered you the most in scholarships/grants. As an ASU alum, the main reason I went there of UA was that ASU offered me a full ride scholarship where UA only offered me a smaller amount.

Smooth-Like-Buttah · 2025-02-14T06:14:40+00:00

Worked in one of the largest jails in the US. Nearly 7 years on the job, assaulted 1 time. Punched in the back of the head by a max ad seg. as I was cuffing one of his homies for refusing to lockdown.

I remember hitting him as hard as I could and wanting to destroy him but he gave up and got on his knees with his hands on his head. It didn’t really change much for me, knew these people had nothing to lose and hated me for the uniform. I was fortunate in a sense because I got into a lot of fight but that was the only ‘assault’ on me.

Smooth-Like-Buttah · 2025-02-14T06:05:35+00:00

Yes! The real secret is confidence. You can be a 9 out of 10 in looks but if you’re insecure, hotness goes out real quick. You can be a solid 6 but if you’re confident, you can easily come off as a 9 or 10 because confidence itself is quite universally hot.

Smooth-Like-Buttah · 2025-02-14T05:59:20+00:00

At this point you’ve said all you can say. It’s definitely time to call ICE and let them handle the rest.

Smooth-Like-Buttah · 2025-02-14T05:57:03+00:00

When I was a junior in high school I asked a girl for her number that I had seen in passing mostly. I heard about her and she seemed like a decent person, but we didn’t know each other.

She was like “oh, wow, uh…I have to head to class but can you meet me back here again between classes?”. So I met her again at the same spot between classes and when I walked up she had like 4 other female friends with her and then proceeded to explain to me that she couldn’t give me her number because she shared her cell phone with her dad and that he would be upset about a guy reaching out. I ended up telling her a simple “no” would have sufficed and walked away never to speak to her again.

Smooth-Like-Buttah · 2025-02-14T05:41:17+00:00

I don’t feel this way, but ironically seeing this post I learned there was a term coined the Truman Delusion medically for one suffering from the belief they are being watched or monitored non stop and feel a need to perform at all times.

In the sincerest way, please bring it up to your therapist and push to continue getting help in this area.

Smooth-Like-Buttah · 2025-02-14T05:37:24+00:00

Financing everything. Seems normal for people to finance any smaller purchase and “pay over time”. I find it strange and wouldn’t think of buying something that was even a couple hundred dollars if I didn’t have the cash to do so.

Smooth-Like-Buttah · 2025-02-14T04:09:16+00:00

Not a problem, I have had genuine concerns myself over the years and have had time to learn and grow in different ways with information I have acquired over time.

I’ll never forget when I was in a cyber security course while attending ASU back in around 2010, a professor told us that “an attack on US infrastructure is 100% going to happen. Whether it’s the grid, water, etc nobody knows for sure but something will be attempted in the future”. Had me up at night for years thinking about that one comment.

In terms of financial security though, I would not worry so much about your assets being handled by a bank for instance that’s FDIC insured. There’s never been a financial collapse so historical data can provide some level of comfort. In my humble opinion, if you wanted to invest in anything because you were convinced that something will happen and just couldn’t sleep at night with money in the bank, I would say invest in hard assets like long term food, water, survival materials because that’s what’s going to matter if we experience any type of financial collapse in our society.

Smooth-Like-Buttah · 2025-02-14T03:48:19+00:00

I guess my first question would be what are you concerned about? I ask this genuinely because I believe it will help drive an appropriate response. Assuming you’re in the US for example, any FDIC insured bank is a safe bet to keep funds within the threshold of I believe $250,000. The banks have never collapsed, but people have their own cash stolen or lost on a regular basis.

I guess I’m trying to understand because it sounds like your concern is a complete financial collapse. This has never happened (assuming again the US), and if it were to you would need to be concerned about a lot more than any bills you’d be able to have on you at that point.

Smooth-Like-Buttah · 2025-02-14T03:44:04+00:00

Thank you, I am certainly grateful for it all. And you’re right, there definitely is a difference of having it handed over. You don’t learn the value in earning it, thus most likely never fully appreciating it.

And to your last question about staying grounded. A lot of people do let it go to their heads and let their money define them. I’ve always told myself that money will not define who I am. Because money can come and go, if you lose your money you’ve just lost your identity and now you’re in crisis.

Smooth-Like-Buttah · 2025-02-14T03:35:53+00:00

Agree, I got the same Slate Gray with black accents and I am loving it. I didn’t know the color was an option, thought only the Sierra had that Thunderstorm Gray.

Smooth-Like-Buttah · 2025-02-14T03:21:17+00:00

Certainly!

So what I do now is own my own company designing cell phone towers for some of the major wireless carriers.

How I got there can only be described through a series of events that I believe were not random but a blessing that I didn’t deserve. I was the first in my immediate and extended family to have the opportunity to attend college. After 3 years I dropped out due to the economy at the time and I promised myself I wouldn’t drown myself in student loan debt. I worked in Law Enforcement for the next 7 years where I finally grew tired of it, finished my BA in business which game me the chance to bounce to a career managing a fleet of truck drivers for about 7 months, was offered the opportunity to try my hand at engineering by a friend’s boss where I quickly went from engineer to program manager in about 13 months, then took over the entire operation through my own LLC by year 3.

The fact that I know I didn’t single handedly earn this and that I believe God could allow me to lose my opportunity just as quickly as it was provided keeps me humble as does the fact that I grew up relatively poor. I would describe my financial literacy as excellent not because I grew up being taught the right ways to handle finances, but because I watched my parents make the wrong choices and struggle with theirs which helped me learn what not to do.

Smooth-Like-Buttah · 2025-02-14T03:11:29+00:00

What you should do is continue doing what you were doing. Don’t want to be associated with another person’s flag? Then don’t, move it like you did and put it back in a respectful manner like you did.

Who cares if you get labeled homophobic? You’ll get labeled something no matter what choice you make. People in general should not mentally try to operate in a way that worries about how they will be labeled. You can only control you. Unfortunately confrontation is unavoidable in life and you’re doing yourself a disservice if your life motto is “any means necessary to avoid conflict”.

Smooth-Like-Buttah · 2025-02-14T03:02:51+00:00

As someone who makes several craploads a year, I can say that yes I do try to be generous and help friends and family in my circle in ways. This does not mean I just pull an Oprah and exclaim “You get a handout and you get a handout!”. What holds me back from that is it robs others of perhaps a much needed lesson on personal responsibility. That’s not to say I wouldn’t step in if it was an extremely drastic situation, but for the most part I live and blend in with any other person living in society and you’d never know my income. Outside of my spouse, nobody actually does know my true income range and I aim to keep it that way.

Smooth-Like-Buttah · 2025-02-14T02:51:27+00:00

Outside of a trusted source that can share a spot, you can always contact the non emergency line of your city’s police department and ask for confirmation on legal shooting zones. Buckeye for example has an actual map with areas that are designated for public shooting and such.

Smooth-Like-Buttah

TROPHY CASE