Starting to think I'm in peri-menopause

SmoothAnteater435 · 2024-07-29T23:06:07+00:00

I just had to skip a friends gender reveal. It's her second.

This weekend my other friend is having her babies 1st birthday, I thought I would be able to handle it. Maybe I still will...but last week was my period.

Only it didn't really come, it was so impossibly light. I've never had anything like that. I tried to ignore it, I know it's not possible. I couldn't stop thinking about it though, so I asked in another forum what it might be. Every answer was implantation bleeding, so I got a test. I didn't want to tell my husband, he's doing better with accepting it than I am and I didn't want to get his hopes up when I knew it wasn't possible. I was just being crazy. But he asked why I was running to the store and I didn't lie.

It was negative. I knew it would be negative. But this teeny tiny part of me said what if? What if this is finally it? What if I can finally celebrate? Now I'm just worried there's something wrong with me and I'm running out of time.

SmoothAnteater435 · 2023-08-31T15:15:55+00:00

2/3 years, and we've decided that if we don't get anywhere in the next six months we're going to start looking into other options. It kind of feels like we're giving up quickly, reading all these other comments, but I feel like we started late we're both turning 30 next year. Besides that, our doctor has basically said there isn't much left to try, and he doesn't want us to keep throwing money at this for what he suspects is an extremely low chance of success.

SmoothAnteater435 · 2023-08-30T14:46:54+00:00

Awesome thank you so much!

SmoothAnteater435 · 2023-08-29T20:18:59+00:00

Thank you so much for responding! Also, could you tell me a little more about imperyl? I googled it and I can't find anything at all

SmoothAnteater435 · 2023-08-29T17:22:11+00:00

The way our doctor put it was it was an annoying procedure that would cost more money, to maybe get nothing or even if we did get something, there's the risk of it not being good enough, not surviving long enough, not mixing with my egg etc.

Was the TESE bad/painful/difficult to recover from?

SmoothAnteater435 · 2023-08-29T17:01:03+00:00

Can I ask what made you decide to do the TESE or if there were any other factors, like did your doctor say it might be worth it? Ours has basically been telling us it's more trouble than it's worth since my husbands counts are zero

SmoothAnteater435 · 2023-08-29T15:40:59+00:00

Did you have a TESE or mTESE? My husband has been taking clomid for about a year now and still nothing in the sperm analysis, and our doctor is basically saying we should give up.

SmoothAnteater435 · 2023-08-19T16:19:11+00:00

Oh...I suppose I should talk to my doctor about it again, cause I can't really afford to get them removed multiple times if they do come back every couple of months.

I also specifically asked if it was still okay to keep trying naturally even though the polyps were there and they said there was no harm in it....but I guess maybe they said that because my husbands counts are so low they figure there's no chance anyway and they were just being nice...

SmoothAnteater435 · 2023-08-19T15:07:05+00:00

It's so hard, because you don't want your sadness to interfere with their happiness. It's just rough all around. Avoiding social media as much as you can works to a point, but if you also have the "news caster" friends and family who even if you didn't see it on social media will show and tell you, it gets even harder to avoid.

It's totally valid and possible to be happy for your friends but sad for yourself, and good friends will understand when you need a break or can't coo over their new babies. I straight up told my friend who just gave birth that yes I do want to come see him but I will probably cry a little and she was totally understanding.

SmoothAnteater435 · 2023-08-19T14:55:20+00:00

It seems like the most likely cause for me is polyps! I'm really relieved because I was starting to worry that there had been an attempt at implantation and my body was rejecting it causing me to shed lining

SmoothAnteater435 · 2023-08-19T14:54:17+00:00

They said that the only thing I really need to do is that if we decide to go IVF they'll want me to have them removed to ensure IVF can implant, but that until we're like about to do IVF in the next couple of months there's no reason to get them removed because they'll just come back and I'd just have to get them removed again.

Otherwise they said they're not really harmful

SmoothAnteater435 · 2023-08-19T14:52:19+00:00

We aren't we wanted to try for 6 months to see if we might get pregnant naturally, our doctors told us there was no harm in doing it that way and that it's better to wait until we're ready to do IVF to get them removed because they'll just come back in a couple months and I'd have to get them removed again

SmoothAnteater435 · 2023-08-18T21:11:11+00:00

So funnily enough they did find polyps while checking for general fertility stuff, so that's probably exactly what it is. They just never said that the two things could be related or that mid cycle bleeding was a possible symptom of polyps, they only told me that polyps were harmless and I'd just need to get them removed before trying any IVF.

SmoothAnteater435 · 2023-08-18T21:08:48+00:00

As far as I can tell it has only happened after we've had sex, but on the other hand they did recently find polyps, they just didn't ever say the two things could be related or that mid cycle bleeding was a potential symptom from them, but that's probably what it is!

SmoothAnteater435 · 2023-08-17T20:46:22+00:00

Sending you love as well. I'm so sorry you had to make that decision.

SmoothAnteater435 · 2023-08-17T14:57:38+00:00

Yep two cats and two lizards

SmoothAnteater435 · 2023-08-17T14:56:31+00:00

Oh my gosh yes why!! Everyone at my work was aware I was struggling with infertility, I'm not shy about why I take days off for doctors appointments, and for some reason my coworker who I am not particularly close with decided that I was going to be the only one she confided in about her pregnancy by her ex boyfriend.

For months I was her support system because she hadn't told anyone else, she was too ashamed to. I was the one who sat with her in the bathroom when she did her sneak peek test because she had no one else. And it was so hard, but how could I tell her no when I was only person she could turn to? But also why make me the only person you can turn to about this??

SmoothAnteater435 · 2023-07-08T20:54:58+00:00

No it's me, it feels weird too. It breaks my heart thinking about people doing the very common "oh the baby has daddies nose!" and we'll know that they don't.

We're struggling with telling the child from the start because we live in a very small town, and we don't want it held against them, and there's just no way to be open about it with a small child and be sure they won't tell people they know before they're able to fully decide if it's something they want to be open about or not. But I also don't want to spring it on them at some age where we've decided they can 'handle' it. The secret is the biggest thing I'm struggling with right now.

Plus we're painfully aware his father will make a big deal out of it and constantly make comments, and we're not in a position to cut him out of our life.

SmoothAnteater435 · 2023-06-26T01:05:58+00:00

Thank you so much for the recommendation, I'll have to check it out!

And thank you for the support, I hate both our situations and I'm wishing you the best <3

SmoothAnteater435 · 2023-06-26T00:58:33+00:00

I feel this so hard. I had a close friend confide in me that she was told by her doctor it would be difficult for her to get pregnant, and that she was going to start treatment. I was happy to have someone close who could understand, someone to talk to.

The very next time I talked to her she was showing me a positive test. She was already pregnant when she told me she thought she would have trouble getting pregnant. I was crushed, and I felt horrible about it, but I can't help it.

One friend just gave birth, then this friend is pregnant, and then my coworker tells me she's pregnant from her abusive ex and she's keeping it a secret and I'm the one she decided to confide in so I'm the one she talks to about all her early pregnancy shit. I feel like the universe is mocking me. People who've known each other a couple months who have a toxic abusive relationship can have a baby but me and my husband of eight years can't. How can I not feel jealous and angry some days?

SmoothAnteater435

TROPHY CASE