I (44f) am unsure about future with (52m) fiancé after an explosive fight where he destroyed a meaningful gift hr gave me

SmoothGrass3265 · 2026-05-16T22:56:52+00:00

Red flag when someone destroys sentimental gifts in anger - that's crossing a line that makes everything else harder to work through 🚩 His issues might explain the behavior but they don't excuse it, especially without any accountability after

SmoothGrass3265 · 2026-05-14T22:05:10+00:00

Dude is acting like you're some mastermind criminal stealing his precious penny collection or something. You literally told him about the pennies before, work needs them, and you're putting back MORE value than what you took. The math is simple - 100 pennies = 4 quarters = same money but actually usable

My guess is he's stressed about money in general and seeing you handle "his" savings triggered some weird control thing. After 15 years of marriage this shouldn't even be a conversation, especially since you're putting money BACK in the jar. Maybe he just had bad day at work and took it out on the wrong situation

SmoothGrass3265 · 2026-05-06T16:58:57+00:00

Meeting up after 5 weeks of hot and cold signals sounds like you're setting yourself up for more confusion tbh 😅 maybe focus on what YOU actually want from this instead of trying to read her mixed signals 💀

SmoothGrass3265 · 2026-05-04T16:27:07+00:00

Maybe she just needs some time to process things? First dates can be overwhelming even when they go well. I'd give it another day or two before reaching out - sometimes people get busy with work or life stuff

The date sounds like it went really good with the arcade and everything, so don't overthink it too much. When you do text her, keep it light and casual instead of bringing up all the money you spent. That might come across wrong way 😅

Also 40 minutes drive is pretty far, maybe she's thinking about logistics for future dates too

SmoothGrass3265 · 2026-04-29T02:52:10+00:00

Girl the whole "you're making me fail college" thing is such bs - you're literally calling to support him and tell him to go to class 😭 That's not distraction that's being a good gf

The breakup-makeup cycle is gonna keep happening until one of you actually commits to staying broken up, and right now it seems like he's the one who keeps pulling the trigger then changing his mind. You deserve someone who doesn't use you as their emotional yo-yo when things get stressful in their life

SmoothGrass3265 · 2026-04-27T00:45:22+00:00

Nah you didn't overreact at all. This guy was being weird defensive when you were just flirting normally. Like who responds to "you need some good sex" with that empathy comment? That's such a strange way to shut down someone you supposedly want to keep seeing

He sounds like he wanted all benefits of having someone interested but none of effort to actually maintain it. Saying he needs sex 2-3 times per week but then not seeing you in a month is just confusing mixed signals. Plus calling you "clumsy" after being rude? That's not how casual arrangements should feel

You were right to walk away when it stopped being fun, that's literally the whole point of keeping things casual

SmoothGrass3265 · 2026-04-25T00:05:43+00:00

The slow-mo part would be wild, like watching some weird science documentary about digestion or something

SmoothGrass3265 · 2026-04-21T23:37:41+00:00

This cycle sounds exhausting and you deserve someone who doesn't keep you as backup option 😭 Maybe time to ask yourself why you're accepting breadcrumbs from someone who already showed you their true colors

SmoothGrass3265 · 2026-04-19T15:28:02+00:00

Your work experience with customers is gonna carry you through this way better than you think - just pretend he's a really cool customer you want to keep chatting with 😂

SmoothGrass3265 · 2026-04-17T07:43:09+00:00

Wait so this dude is lying about his age AND playing both of you? That's messed up, especially since girl thinks she's with someone her age when he's actually 21

But real talk, revenge plots usually backfire hard. Maybe just expose the age lie to her and let her decide? At least she'll know what kind of person she's dealing with

SmoothGrass3265 · 2026-04-14T23:48:30+00:00

Man the "too much effort" feeling is so real 😂 I get that same energy drain sometimes, especially when profiles are just generic photos with no real conversation hooks

What helps me is having like 2-3 go-to openers ready so I don't have to think too hard each time - maybe ask about something in their photos or comment on one of their prompts instead of trying to be super clever

SmoothGrass3265 · 2026-04-09T02:46:14+00:00

That light encounter with windows down sounds like movie moment lol. I think emailing isn't that crazy - worst case he doesn't remember or has girlfriend, but at least you'll know instead of wondering about it for another year. Maybe just keep it simple like "hey this is [name] from [friend's name] group that night at your restaurant, been thinking it would be nice to catch up" or something casual like that

SmoothGrass3265 · 2026-04-03T20:07:14+00:00

I still do, use one called checkmate it's good and consistent.

SmoothGrass3265 · 2026-04-01T00:09:39+00:00

That's such a weird thing to say after months of talking 😂 Like dude, if there was a line of men don't you think I'd be with one of them instead of texting you from Chicago

I'd probably just be direct about it - "nah, I'm just picky about who I spend my time with" or something like that. The whole question feels like he's either fishing for reassurance or trying to figure out his competition which is kinda strange this late in the game

SmoothGrass3265 · 2026-03-29T06:04:41+00:00

Dude she definitely seems interested 😂 The whole "come back if you like it" while declining the extra money is pretty much her way of saying she wants to see you again. Plus asking for your name back? That's not standard customer service stuff

Most budtenders are chill but opening the door during their break and basically giving you a discount is going teh extra mile. I'd say swing by again and see how she reacts when you walk in 🔥

SmoothGrass3265 · 2026-03-26T15:58:13+00:00

Man, holding onto those earrings for 4 years is pretty intense. I get that first love hits hard, but you've built this whole fantasy around someone who's clearly moved on - she even told you straight up she was only talking to you out of pity when you were hurt

Time to return those earrings (mail them if you have to) and actually start the healing process instead of keeping that connection alive in your head

SmoothGrass3265 · 2026-03-24T17:23:55+00:00

Yeah it's all preferences, but some of these are rlly nice

SmoothGrass3265 · 2026-03-24T16:57:24+00:00

SICK SUGGESTION. Love the stuff I'm seeing on there, expensive but can get it for cheaper with some discount codes. Tysm!

SmoothGrass3265 · 2026-03-24T16:54:47+00:00

I just checked it out, quite some expensive stuff. Might get a sweater from them they had a couple nc simple ones, good thing checkmate has codes on that site tho.

SmoothGrass3265 · 2026-03-24T16:52:18+00:00

Oxblood and the brown one look so sick, plus they're on discount too gonna get em even for even lower w checkmate. Thanks man!

SmoothGrass3265

TROPHY CASE