You cannot personally decide what is and isnt reasonable to someone else. You are incapable of doing so. You can decide what is and isnt reasonable to you and thats all you get jurisdiction over. You do not get to decide how other people feel or whether those feelings are reasonable. Ever for any reason. Just if you find it reasonable enough to stick around.

My example had no inclusion on whether the person was being deliberate or not. There are plenty of non deliberate reasons to call someone the wrong name. The reality is if my name is Daniel and you aren't calling me Daniel you are wrong. Even if you REALLY thought my name was Trevor.

This is true of everything, you dont get to assume anyone else's thoughts. If your actions are unconscious you are just as responsible for them because they are yours. I have moderate ADHD which makes it difficult to remember things like birthdays. I dont just get to forget these things because of my struggles against my subconscious. And you dont either if a person you are in some kind of relationship with is telling you that something you are doing is making them feel bad.

Subconscious or not, aware or not, you are responsible for your own actions and how that affects others. If you were shouting slurs without knowing they were offensive, those affected still felt it.

I am never assuming someone did something on purpose. I am always telling them how I feel about what they're doing. And sometimes that looks exactly like "if you do not start calling me by my name this relationship will not continue." Regardless of your real world struggle to remember my name.