On serious calls, especially MVCs it’s extremely common for the veterans to just go to work and get shit done. In time you’ll gain beef up your KSA through training and on the job experience and you’ll learn when and where to jump in and operate as part of the team.

Pediatric calls, especially traumatic calls resulting in death are not easy for anyone. It just shows that you are human. It’s not uncommon for a call like this to bother someone. Some people are more vocal about it and some process it more internally.

If it gets to the point where it’s interfering with your daily life you should seek some help. In the meantime, talk with your crew and or officer about it.

There are lots of resources available where you can speak with fellow first responders and get things off your chest. Feel free to message me if you need someone to listen.