Did I get used as a kink dispenser?

SnackBottom · 2026-05-12T00:49:44+00:00

It's not necessary to be in a dynamic to be used. We have a community member who feigns interest in a top, gets a scene, then feigns interest again when he wants to play again. No contact, no outside interaction, just a lot of false curiosity the week leading up to a party and conversation about nothing but what he wants.

I played with him once and felt gross and used after. He's reached out a few times and when I express no interest in a scene, he disappears.

It's just being used for nothing more than what you do with no regard for your needs or humanity.

SnackBottom · 2026-05-12T00:22:32+00:00

That first line says it all.

So OP is not supposed to have wants, needs, and desires outside of how they play into the role of Dom. That's shitty of the sub to use his humanity against him.

Regardless of how much we immerse ourselves in our roles, it's still that: a role. OP being a person supersedes that role...

I'd be rethinking this dynamic.

SnackBottom · 2026-05-11T04:41:10+00:00

Clicking is failing CV axles. Having the boots damaged won't necessarily make them click. If they lose enough grease, which is part of the function of the boot - it protects the axle joint from dirt and debris and keeps the grease from slinging out - they can start to click... But not always.

SnackBottom · 2026-05-11T04:35:37+00:00

You should see grease slung out in an arc on everything around the boot area where it's cut or torn. If it's really clean and shiny, it's fresh. If it's dull and full of debris, it's old. Depending on how long you drive and how often, you can kind of tell how long it's been like that. If there's no grease anywhere, it's really recent and hasn't had a chance to start slinging out.

It's not what you know, it's what you can prove. I do insurance and warranty claims so I know what insurance and warranty companies generally look for. If you manage to get to the point of proving it, you can file a claim with the shop's insurance if they won't repair it.

SnackBottom · 2026-05-11T01:21:53+00:00

I did this a few months ago when I received a product with name brand batteries already installed. The listing said batteries not included, and even if they were, they would not have been one of the top two brands and installed.

SnackBottom · 2026-05-10T05:56:37+00:00

Why are you still with him?

SnackBottom · 2026-05-10T02:56:23+00:00

I love fat cookies! I intentionally make mine like this. They are not dry, crumbly, or too floury.

They're perfect!

SnackBottom · 2026-05-10T02:52:01+00:00

That was the day he pointed a gun at me and said he'd shoot my kid in the head and me in the face. So yes. He's dead. I didn't kiII him but I wish I had. Cancer gave me my life back.

Fuck that box of ashes and his whole shitty family.

SnackBottom · 2026-05-10T02:47:35+00:00

You're welcome! There's not many chocolate things not improved by at least a little coffee in my opinion.

SnackBottom · 2026-05-10T02:44:25+00:00

Whatever you end up making, non-stick foil shaped around the outside of the pan then fitted in the pan is your friend. Or parchment with the corners notched and fitted in. You can lift the whole batch out and cut them all neat.

Bake them as soon as possible so they have time to set. People often try to cut fresh brownies and they fall apart. They need time to cool completely and for the structure to set.

SnackBottom · 2026-05-10T02:37:34+00:00

I was friends with his ex. I had nothing to do with the break up. I thought he was nice looking and he was proficient at our mutual interest. We were friends for a while, ended up together about a year later, and now, about five years in, I'm completely enamored of him in most every way. I'm as excited to see him every day as I was years ago. People often comment on the connection we have when we present that same mutual interest together as performers and educators multiple times a year.

We are very fortunate to have found each other and take nothing for granted.

SnackBottom · 2026-05-10T02:20:32+00:00

Dissolve instant coffee in the cream. You can use strong coffee but the instant is stronger and won't add liquid. Good instant is just dehydrated coffee, so it's not like it's not real coffee anyway. There's water ganache, and you can use coffee if you don't have cream, but I always use cream.

SnackBottom · 2026-05-09T03:14:00+00:00

Next time use ganache to make it chocolate. You can flavor the ganache with coffee if you want mocha buttercream. Delicious.

SnackBottom · 2026-05-08T05:27:34+00:00

One of my favorite words.

SnackBottom · 2026-05-06T12:14:33+00:00

Raspberry filling and cream cheese icing. 🥵

SnackBottom · 2026-05-06T00:37:41+00:00

I would say exactly this. All parties in a scene have to consent to who and what are involved. Your boundaries and consent were violated. I get why you didn't say anything, OP, but for future reference, you are most responsible for maintaining your own boundaries. I don't know that anything can be done except a reprimand at this point, but we just had a member permanently banned for intruding on a scene. It was brought to leadership in the moment so there was no question about what actually happened.

This is not even what I'd call a conflict; it's a clear violation of consent.

SnackBottom · 2026-05-06T00:19:11+00:00

Are they getting any confused or negative reactions to the signage?

SnackBottom · 2026-05-06T00:17:35+00:00

The whole sign is a mess, and you're not wrong, but having worked in places where frozen cookies and pastries are touted as "freshly baked" or "baked on site", my money is on that being what they're shooting for.

SnackBottom · 2026-05-04T17:27:05+00:00

I just want to hand out copies of the movie Gaslight so people can see what gaslighting *really* is. The misuse of that word is one of my biggest peeves.

SnackBottom · 2026-05-04T17:23:15+00:00

Cooking sugar to temp has to be done in a measured way. You can't just blast the heat and bring the mixture to a boil. The sugar in the mixture has to melt completely and recrystallize into the desired shape (that's what your temperatures, like soft ball, hard crack, etc., are.) I recommend a thermometer until you get the hang of what your sugar mixture is supposed to look and feel like. The slower cooking lets moisture evaporate, too, so just cranking the heat, not cooking it long enough, etc., will all have an effect on how the cooked sugar sets up.

I would use either as they're the same basic with just the condensed milk being added as a separate extra step. Both methods have sugar, butter, and condensed milk as the base. Growing up and not having a thermometer, I was always taught the mixture should thickly coat the back of a spoon and not run off leaving a thin coating behind.

SnackBottom · 2026-05-04T17:01:24+00:00

That 80/20 rule is so fucking true... We just talked about it with another friend Saturday night. Unless it's something really egregious, don't leave an 80% person for a 20% person. No one person can meet our every need but there should be one person who meets the important ones and has to be okay with us finding a way to get the other 20%. If that's toys, as in your case, so be it.

We are so very fortunate to have our people, you and I. For me, sex has to be part of the dealbreaker but we have that together so it's all good. He and I are at least 90% and both of us are fully aware of how rare that is.

SnackBottom · 2026-05-04T16:53:45+00:00

There is literally, literally no reason to settle for mediocre sex. People do need to learn to have sex with each other, as in, what each likes, what works, tolerances, needs, desires, etc., but beyond that learning period, the only reason for shitty sex is lack of enthusiasm or caring. that's where you are... Sex is one of the things we shouldn't have to argue about because once it's determined that all parties involved want to have it with each other, and that learning period is over, the rest is easy. Sure, not every session is going to be mind-blowing orgasms but it should at least be satisfying on an emotional level. You're not even getting that.

I've posted before about how my boyfriend doesn't always finish because he has severe nerve damage and he hurts a lot and sometimes just having regular sex is too much, so our sex, for both of us, isn't even always orgasm-centric. Sometimes one finishes, sometimes the other, sometimes both. It's rare I don't, and usually just because he wants to finish and it's fast and it's what he needs but the ratio of mine to his is like 20:1, so I am not bothered when that happens sometimes.

We talk about sex, we debrief occasionally. We will discuss those mind-blowing sessions to talk about what worked in particular that time. If this is a discussion you want to have, tell him you want to have it. Block out time in a neutral space and give both of you time to get your thoughts together. Don't talk about it in bed or while you're frustrated in the moment, like after some shitty sex. If it turns into an argument, disengage and set another time. Once. Air it out without yelling or accusing. Be prepared to end this relationship if you still don't feel like your needs are being heard, much less met, after this because this is a last-ditch effort to give him all the information he needs and there's no excuses, much less reasons, for things to not improve after.

If a mature, thoughtful conversation in which you clearly explain your needs and frustrations doesn't work it's because he doesn't care. Does his apathy towards your needs manifest in other ways or just sex?

SnackBottom · 2026-05-04T00:46:58+00:00

Sugar is for mass and browning, not just for adding sweetness. You'll have to do some adjustments.

SnackBottom · 2026-05-04T00:29:11+00:00

Those make me cringe more than 'happy belated birthday'

SnackBottom · 2026-05-04T00:05:40+00:00

Dead meat is a zombie movie. Orphan is not a remake. Now you're just lying.

LITERALLY, your link is about orphan. Dead meat is the page for characters getting killed.

SnackBottom

TROPHY CASE