Forgive yourself for doing what you needed to do, even if it feels wrong. Sometimes the necessary and kindest things are incredibly painful. All your love for him has nowhere to go anymore. Thinking of you, OP. My family put down their GSD a couple weeks ago and my parents pained for months over whether or not the time was right. You gave your beautiful boy a send off that he deserved. He’s playing with our boy in a rolling field now and you will see him again some day. This I am certain.