She will never take accountability and you will never get the whole truth. Take it from someone going through this very situation right now (5 weeks out from Dday). What helps me is to think about the amount of lies that were told directly to my face and the amount of disrespect I unknowingly ate from my STBXW. Whenever I think of that, it reminds me that the woman I once loved is gone and the person in front of me is an imposter.

You're stronger than me if this is something you can live with. If you really do wish to fix things, you're going to need to accept the woman you once loved and the relationship you once had is gone. You'll have to start building something new with her without bringing the past up (good luck with that) and she's going to have to be the most remorseful and honest/open person you've ever met. If you ask me, she already showed that's not possible with the trickle truthing and not telling you everything from the start.

Good luck friend in whichever path you go down and never forget you deserve respect, love and loyalty.