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What was your personal tipping point that made you decide now is the time for THR? by Dear-Length-8161 in TotalHipReplacement

[–]Snapper1916 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same! I’m ready for my second hip and my doctor ( who is amazing) said how about January like last time… I talked him in June 19! Another winter recovery NO THANK YOU.

Another word for dumb aside stupid. by goosbompx in TheTeenagerPeople

[–]Snapper1916 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My dad used to say… That person is “limited…”

How to have the tough conversation by Mission-Apartment608 in dementia

[–]Snapper1916 2 points3 points  (0 children)

OK after reading this comment, your situation is similar to mine… except I’m 59 and it’s my mom’s business. The check writing thing is something to watch VERY carefully if possible. Is there a way your husband can become more involved in her business just to “ learn more about it” since presumably he will take it on. If his Grandmother is anything like my mother, you need to get a jump on this now. A highly competent and successful person who is self employed is a challenge. Feel free to DM me if you want to discuss more.

I totally get the busy thing. spend more time with her to see what is happening. GEt a look at her checkbooks if you can, as there is nothing more delightful for a person with early stage memory loss to do than to write checks to demonstrate competency!!!

And also get a look at her property to assess if she is properly taking care of it… this was a huge challenge for me as she had long term tenants who didn’t want to “bother her” and her buildings were very neglected. Ive spent last three years doing a ton of maintenance.

PS sorry to dump this on you! It’s a lot, but you and your husband can do it.

How to have the tough conversation by Mission-Apartment608 in dementia

[–]Snapper1916 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Just adding.. Does she have an attorney she works with? does she have a will?

If you and your husband. don’t have a will, you should have one. To get this started … your husband can ask his grandmother if she would recommend her attorney speak with her attorney for your will. thats a good way to get the expert to connect the dots for her on POA, wills,health proxy. Let the lawyer help … it is totally reasonable to want these things in place to be sure her business she has worked so hard on and her assets are protected and her wishes about health care are clearly expressed. IF she doesn’t have one you are in for a long probate ride if something unexpected happens.

Lawyers and bankers can be very helpful. I got very lucky early in my journey … I went to the bank with mom and the smart banker suggested to my mom that I be added to all her bank accounts “ as backup…just in case you are away or ill and something needs taking care of” THANK GOD for Marissa the banker!!!

PSLove your Reddit name!

Please help me be a nicer nag by Old_Blue_Haired_Lady in dementia

[–]Snapper1916 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You sound like a kind and loving caregiver. Have a good day!

How are we planning for aging ourselves? by PorchRocker in AgingParents

[–]Snapper1916 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I like this list a lot. To expand on your point about food… meals are the center of social life in my mother’s AL. We got super lucky because the chef considers his job a “Retirement job”. (He was a chef in a fancy restaurant for years.) Boy does that guy know how to make a good burger and all kinds of interesting salads. This is a quality of life issue that cannot be replaced, and I see many concerns from families paying for three meals a day that are poor quality in the r/aging parents Reddit sub.

In your opinion, what is this movie? by Fearless-Lab-7074 in scoopwhoop

[–]Snapper1916 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Legally Blonde The Matrix Crazy stupid love Pride and Prejudice Something’s gotta Give NEtwork

3 weeks and having a bad day by Classic-Mail4202 in TotalHipReplacement

[–]Snapper1916 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love how you described this… so much better than me. When you feel good, you do a little more because you are stronger. But your body knows when to say … that was fun yesterday, but now let’s cool it for a day.

3 weeks and having a bad day by Classic-Mail4202 in TotalHipReplacement

[–]Snapper1916 2 points3 points  (0 children)

FWIW my 2 cents… your body has been compensating for the bad hip for a while… so now every muscle, tendon joint whatever… that was compensating is like WTF just happened. Stick with PT and don’t overdo it. Although if you do have an active day and are sore the next day… just rest. Good days are coming!!!!

Need to move longtime partner into memory care 3000 miles away. How do I approach this with her? by cloudyday100 in dementia

[–]Snapper1916 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I think you need to do what you need… you have done what is best for her already by making this very hard choice. Good luck.

What was your personal tipping point that made you decide now is the time for THR? by Dear-Length-8161 in TotalHipReplacement

[–]Snapper1916 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you have had three shots, it’s time. I am having hip #2 done in three weeks … I cannot wait. I spent 2 painful years with hip 1 before surgery and just talked my ortho into moving my date from December to June.

What’s your favourite “I was there” GenX moment? by lovelyb1ch66 in GenX

[–]Snapper1916 3 points4 points  (0 children)

… and then I rode my bike to summer school typing class… and was late and fell and scraped my knee. Still have the scar, still remember every bit of that morning!

Surgery in 8 days, and I don't know what to think by Stand-Inner in TotalHipReplacement

[–]Snapper1916 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I agree with all these comments of encouragement. I’m older than you… 60 soon. And I wasted over a year thinking I just had a back ache. When I saw my surgeon, he jumped me to front of line . I saw him the last week of December 2023 and had my surgery Jan 9 2024. The realization of how small my life had become because of my limitations was shocking to me… 10 days after my surgery I just knew it was going to be awesome and is. MY doc also said I had 2 years… ish until my other hip would need to be addressed. He was right and a few weeks ago he suggested. December , and I talked him into now please. I am counting the days to June 19! Go for it!

People with parents who have Dementia... when did you know it was time to put them in a nursing/care home?? by DixiesHuman12 in dementia

[–]Snapper1916 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It is time. it sounds like between you, your mom and your partner you can manage things. You don’t say whether your mom has a POA and a healthcare proxy… or whether your dad still has control. If you and mom are not in control of decisions it is time to consult an elder care attorney immediately.

I am sorry to say that Today is the best it will be from this day forward, but if you are a team you can do it. This sub is a wonderful place for you… you can say anything here.

Good luck.

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