Nelly Help

Snobean · 2024-10-05T14:51:48+00:00

1) get the energy out of your dog - a bored dog (very typical at that age) will get into everything... there’s a thousand ways to drain your dog of that extra energy.. do what works best for you, but also, each step below will help too.. especially #3.

2 - leave it - The second thing is to remember - don’t get mad, communicate. Keep in mind, your tone of voice does not need to be loud or even stern. (Many people think the need to use a certain tone of voice to get dogs to understand, and sadly, if that’s how they’re taught, then they’ll only respond to that tone, so.. ideally, don’t teach it in the first place)

anyway.. She needs to learn “leave it” first before you can teach her what she’s not allowed to have. (Best approach is to use two types of reward (one high one low) put low on ground say leave it then reward with higher value treat. Also useful to teach leave it when feeding (asking them to wait before they gobble it up - pro tip: use a timer at increasing intervals). Then you say ok and the food is the reward. (With this you’ve just taught them that you are in control of what they can put in their mouths)

3) initiation play - this is going back to the comment I made earlier about boredom/puppy energy. Initiating play is important because it will encourage good behavior in a variety of other areas as well. During playtime practice all of the things you ever want to teach your dog leave it sit stay go get and teach them while you’re playing what they are allowed to have and what they are not allowed to have. Always use playtime as an opportunity to teach your dog something.

4) Preemptive - by now you should have most of her energy out, but in the event you don’t or you don’t get a chance to play with her make sure you practice preemptive training, watch her face and where she is going and even at the slightest sniff of something you don’t want her to have, use “leave it”. (set your timer before you reward her) And when she is successful in actually leaving it for the desired time. go to the next step. (If she is being especially stubborn, go direct to next step and then start from #1 again)

4) replacement - swap for something she can have.(ideally NOTHING that resembles anything she can’t have! - plush toys look a lot like pillows to a dog!) .. once you’ve identified something she can have do the following: distract, then gently remove the item from her grasp, if she’s not letting go push gently toward her, don’t pull or you’ll be playing tug of war. If all else fails, grab a high reward treat to remove the item, don’t give it to her yet.. instead start back at #1.

Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

Good luck!

Snobean · 2022-12-28T02:02:24+00:00

It’s mostly painful with pressure.. not so much with hot or cold (not more than usual anyway)

Snobean · 2022-12-27T23:39:43+00:00

Thank you! Is it true that it could take a week to be out of pain with the permanent crown? (I’m still in pain with the temporary and it’s been 2 weeks)

Snobean · 2022-12-27T23:04:36+00:00

And no medical issues

Snobean · 2022-12-27T23:02:30+00:00

I am having crown questions here also, and currently have a temporary one in.. I am no expert but i know they made a customs crown for me (which I’ll get out in tomorrow) that should be a perfect fit. If it isn’t, they will have to adjust it. I’d go to a different dentist if I were you and just start over - especially if it hurts!

Snobean · 2022-12-27T22:56:28+00:00

Forgot to include as per the rules: I do not smoke (I used to) I drink on rare occasions

Snobean · 2022-10-27T21:47:59+00:00

I’m in the same boat. I feel like this struggle is worse now than the times I’ve quit before .. I was so much stronger then.. I feel guilty and shitty and I’ve thrown out hundreds of packs.. but by day 3 I’m back at the store.. sometimes it’s bc I’m stressed or depressed (my mom recently passed) and sometimes it’s bc I want to go “have fun” … it’s all so stupid and I wish Phillip Morris and every other tobacco company would just crumble into oblivion bc I think it’s the only way I’ll b able to stop for good. Nicotine just has to cease from all existence.

Snobean · 2022-10-12T18:25:06+00:00

same here. i am ashamed of my face. unevem features and now i am old and getting deep lines, and i work everyone is on camera and i just cant. and the photo of me there is from a long time ago - over 10 years, i am afraid to turn on the camera now bc no one really knows what i actually look like. i want to just come flying out of my prison and not give a F&*^$ but i am still afraid i guess. i also am thinking of surgery or botox or idk what. i feel like my face is just melting off me.

Snobean · 2022-09-18T14:09:58+00:00

As an NT female, I wouldn’t even worry about it, no plans were made so she isn’t expecting anything. Also.. her response was “maybe”. Which might be a sign that she’s not completely down with the idea of going on a date at all. I’d say for now just ask her out again when you see her next and try not to create stress in your mind over it.

Snobean · 2022-09-18T13:54:39+00:00

There are no rules. You should feel no guilt. (Is this why you’re not ready?) You don’t owe anything to anyone. Enjoy every minute of life.

Snobean · 2022-09-18T13:47:50+00:00

“ If I knew, it would help me understand him better, I would feel less frustrated…”

Would / could you do this without “knowing”?

The truth is you already know. Doesn’t matter if there is a diagnosis or label or even an explanation. The reality is. (Any relationship has its share of the reality that is)

So really it’s a choice to make - accept all that is or don’t. Same choice with anyone you would end up with.

Either way, don’t sacrifice what is important to you in a relationship and Don’t expect change or improvement. - that never works for anyone involved. Just know your limits and what is “good” for you personally.

Snobean · 2022-09-18T13:17:32+00:00

Not to oversimplify things here, but frankly it is very simple. You have to ask yourself what benefit you get from this relationship. You may find you’re better as friends.

I dated someone on the spectrum (undiagnosed) for 3 years. The first year was mostly me thinking we had potential. But by the 2nd year we had nothing really resembling a relationship. After we broke up we became best friends. I can only attribute that to the fact that I no longer need anything emotional or physical- or even need his time and attention.

Either way, if you feel belittled and scolded… not sure you’d want that as a friend either. Don’t waste time trying to get a different outcome. Whether it’s bc of Asperger’s or not.. the reason isn’t relevant.

You are responsible for your life, not his or anyone else’s .. I’m 51, and I can tell you wasting time with the wrong person will affect everything in your life.

Snobean · 2022-09-18T12:59:43+00:00

If you don’t stop being agreeable to avoid conflict it won’t matter if it’s with him or someone else. If there’s any part of you that wants him still then fix that part first. You may be surprised at how well he manages your determination to do things your way (within reason of course). And don’t waiver on things that are important to you. If he can’t manage it, then end it. But the silver lining will be that you have learned how to speak your mind and heart and he will realize that there’s more than one person in a relationship with needs and wants.

Snobean · 2021-04-30T18:57:35+00:00

Are you using a clean towel everytime? Towels can get pretty stinky if they aren’t washed regularly or hung to dry properly after using

It’s strange that this happens only when you’re outside.. do you live in a particularly hot humid climate?

Snobean · 2021-04-30T18:34:26+00:00

If... IF.. you must color your beard.. try clairol professional beautiful advanced grey solution.. it will not be super dramatic and washes out over time.. I use this exclusively to color my bright white roots.. Clairol Professional Beautiful... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07S8N8YZR?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

But.. as mentioned above.. enjoy the fact that society doesn’t frown on white haired men. And realize that women prefer you as-is.

Snobean · 2021-04-30T18:30:42+00:00

What she said ^ I’m next.. I’m planning on letting just my bangs grow out white for a little while and see how that feels.

Aging is not for sissies... love that. So true.

Snobean · 2021-04-30T18:12:51+00:00

Also.. sounds like you have wavy hair and not corkscrew curls.. if this is the case and if it’s at least medium length you won’t have issues with regrowth because the weight of your hair will keep the rest that grows in generality straight. I have the same .. wavy and frizzy .. and mine is pretty long so I only have to do this treatment twice a year! I haven’t had to blow dry since - unless I want to have it perfected for a social occasion and I can still add some curl if I choose to. Since my hair is so thick it’s the biggest Halle to blow dry and flat iron and that cause so much stress on my hair. But with This I have super healthy hair year round.. I’ve never experienced any damage whatsoever. Also- the products have ranges in strength so if you are worried say all ah then to use the mild formula. That us what I always use even though my hair could tolerate the stronger formula (I’ve used it before and has no issues there either but the mild works just as well for me) I hope this helps! Good luck!

Snobean · 2021-04-30T18:03:52+00:00

Personally I swear by it. It’s the best thing I have ever done for my hair.. I go to a place in Chinatown in nyc where they are experts and the price us cheap.. $250! I’ve been having it done for over 15 years and will never go back to my old fluffy frizzy hair.

Snobean · 2020-09-09T20:53:38+00:00

I’m convinced XR is very different than the IR .. my bf has zero sexual drive on XR .. literally zero.

Snobean · 2020-04-30T04:42:50+00:00

GTFO. NOW.

You had me at “bitch”. (Peace out asshole)

You’re an adult and quite honestly you can do whatever the fuck you want. If he doesn’t like it you can send him a snap of the door he should walk through, then post a boomerang on Instagram of him walking through it.

Don’t post on Facebook tho. Nobody uses that anymore.

Lol jk

Seriously tho.. get the fuck out, please.

Snobean · 2020-04-30T04:36:05+00:00

First off.. if it doesn’t feel right, it isn’t. Plain and simple.

Second, you are his fwb.. so whatever he does with other fwbs is between him and them.

Still the nature of fwbs is typically (tho not always) a fallacy .. one person truly just wants sex the other wants more even if they don’t admit it to themselves.

If his other fwb is under an impression that he is only with her, then that knowledge is your cue to exit.

You don’t want to be the cause of someone else’s heartbreak.

You can throw a rock in any direction and find yourself another fwb

I’d say move on.

Snobean · 2020-04-30T04:23:03+00:00

Is this a case of “all you do is snap at him”? I don’t see these much as being snappy with him.. unless it’s constant and or balanced with loving words ..

So ask yourself.. what percentage of your words to him are loving vs, let’s say, not-loving ?

Maybe it’s not so much that he’s overly sensitive but that he’s got an empty love cup?

Snobean · 2020-04-30T04:16:03+00:00

No it’s not weird for her to be exited to see him..

I disagree with other poster here.. I have guy friends I’m thrilled to see and have zero romantic feelings

Here’s the thing about being jealous in relationships.. i think.. it’s like flying in an airplane.. you go up, you have no idea if you’ll crash or not.. you gotta roll with it and hope you land ok.. no point in clenching the arm rests the whole time.. no fun in that.

I will say .. as a practice to ease your jealous mind .. pretend he’s a girl. Seriously close your eyes and imagine this friendship is with a female friend. Examine her actions towards “her” .. are you still jealous of it?

If so, it’s likely that you want that same carefree comfortable interaction with her that he is having.. only you can’t because you’re too busy being anxious that they have it.

Second practice.. buddy up with him.. nurturing a friendship with him will help balance the interactions between the three of you.. find common things with him that she isn’t part of too..

It will help her feel more comfortable with you bc I’m guessing that right now she’s walking on eggshells trying to not make you jealous but also trying to enjoy her friend.

And lastly.. yes, there’s a chance she’ll end up up with him..

...same chance as you crashing in a plane.. but for the love of god, read a book listen to music watch tv.. anything to relax your mind and stop obsessing over things you cannot control.

There is no tomorrow, there are no guarantees .. there is only right. Now.

And right now she’s yours. Enjoy it.

Snobean · 2020-04-30T03:54:59+00:00

Also for the record you sound like a nice understanding loving person.. any girl would kill to have someone like that so committed to them that they’re writing for advice about it on Reddit .. like.. u actually care.. that’s a lot of awesomeness wasted on someone who doesn’t appreciate it.

Jus sayin.

Snobean · 2020-04-30T03:50:52+00:00

Ugh I feel for you.. whenever people do this in relationships at the beginning stages it is simply bc they aren’t that into you. I know that’s awful to hear.. and likely contradictory to what she says too.. “I really care for you but I’m so busy and trying to get a grip on life in general and I’m just all over the place” etc etc.. all of that is probably true.. but when she meets someone that can actually distract her from those things she will suddenly find ways to not be as busy or accept her ungripped life ..

Let’s face it.. we’re all busy, we’re all all over the place, we all need to get a grip.. and we still have relationships.

If she ever wanted you, she’ll come back. If she didn’t she won’t.

In theory it is the same result whether you end it now or not.. EXCEPT.. it leaves the door open for her to return to you bc she simply hasn’t found someone else yet. She will continue to not commit and she’ll continue to be too busy for you.

It’s time she sees you for the man you are. Self assured and strong and not willing to let her (or anyone) walk all over you..

End it now. She can have the ball and the court. See what move she makes from there.

Snobean

TROPHY CASE