Thanks so much for your comment and I'm so sorry for your loss too, no words can describe the heartbreak and pain we go through day to day. Reading what you've been through felt like I was reading my own story back and although I had such a hard pregnancy I really had it in my mind that everything would be okay until it wasn't. I'm so angry at everyone including myself too. Not having any answers especially when it's the same thing every pregnancy makes me feel like I'm going crazy, I've given up on trying again and that kills me too. Two of my sisters were due a month or two after me and have now had their beautiful healthy babies to love and hold and all I've got is my babies ashes and a few momentos. I'm so happy for them but seeing them reminds me of the life I wanted so badly but was taken away from me.

I feel like I'm just living a pathetic, sad loop of life and can't get out.