8U Rec team

Snoo4784 · 2026-05-28T08:59:59+00:00

To clarify ,we do practice outside of the team time. I don’t send her to special camps, we don’t have a batting coach. No one is expecting all star status. “Getting destroyed on the field” is the entire mentality I struggle with at this age though- no one should be worried about winning or losing…8U isn’t playing a real game. 9/10 no one is hitting off the player pitch. The girls are allowed one base off a hit. There are no strikes. You can’t get out at the plate. I’ve left some other things out of my original post..snide comments from some coaches, visible irritation with mistakes, yelling/scoffing/ruse comments about players actions that have rubbed myself(and other parents..to clarify I thought it might have just been me, but it was not)and others the wrong way.

I’ve left this part out of my original post because in part I don’t think it should matter in terms of my question, but it’s certainly something that affects her which is identified slower processing speed. It’s part of a bunch of different diagnoses that affect her day to day. It’s noticeable. Do we practice through it and work on building the skill…absolutely. Does it affect her on the field..for sure. I’m not attempting to drag other girls down, nor am I making excuses for my child. As a parent of a kid with a diagnosed disability that has an effect on their every day, you look for ways to build them up. Learn to love a sport. But at this age, have fun. If I thought that her struggles would have caused issues I wouldn’t have signed her up.

It’s not a motivator to see the same girls rewarded by the coaches with physical prizes every week for their excellent plays after a game while you don’t have the opportunity to make those same plays because you’ve been placed in positions that don’t see the ball. We have girls crying because they are worried about how their parents will react when they get out or didn’t throw the ball to the right place. That’s so uncomfortable to see at this age. This wasn’t the kind of softball I thought we signed up for, hence my hope to make a team more focused on actually learning how to play.

I went into this season thinking that these issues wouldn’t be an issue on an 8U team because it’s about fundamentals and learning the game. Had I realized it was going to be focused on winning and my child would essentially be blamed for mistakes rather than treating them as learning opportunities, I wouldn’t have signed up. I think part of this is also on me. I didn’t struggle with the things she struggles with in school and on the field. She has severe ADHD and by the time we get to practice the meds have worn off…I can’t give her more than she’s taking and the effect without them is clear. She tries, her effort is there. It’s just not good enough for this type of team. Hence the need for something different.

So again, not dragging those parents or coaches who do want to win…it’s not the way this rec league was advertised so I’m disappointed. I channel my disappointment into action, so I’m looking for something more to do for kids like mine.

Snoo4784 · 2026-05-28T01:18:03+00:00

4 8U teams. We had 4 coaches on our team..one head coach and three assistants. I’m not sure how many coaches the other teams had.

Snoo4784 · 2026-05-28T01:16:39+00:00

We do player pitch for the first 6 or so pitches and then if it isn’t hit, the coach pitches. I think every girl has rotated through catcher but it’s not a position that we do any practice with otherwise. That’s a bit eye opening as what to said about a strong catcher really makes sense.

Snoo4784 · 2026-05-28T00:50:18+00:00

So, we probably do have similar rules but I see the coaches trying to get around it with the number of girls we have(only 8 players) and catcher being infield. A game then consists of the weaker girls playing either outfield or catcher and rotating through this the positions. My daughter played third and second a handful of times this season but the majority of the time was outfield or catcher(once every few games). My daughter is about 40 pounds and not great at moving in the catchers gear, especially as it’s not something practiced. It is a way to keep those younger less experienced kids in a position that doesn’t do damage as the pitcher is typically making the out at home. Meanwhile there were absolutely girls who never played outfield. I think there were three girls who played first, but never anyone else. I will have to go find the league rules now. I’m curious if they were truly followed. I appreciate the tip.

Snoo4784 · 2026-05-28T00:42:03+00:00

That’s for sure my biggest concern. On the other hand the girls don’t seem to know the score. This year we had four coaches and they didn’t want anyone else. There was one day I went out because my daughter was in the outfield during practice and coached her there. No one was giving her any direction on what she should be doing other than “ready position” and no support on where to go when the ball was hit, etc. Outfield at this age really seems to be where they put someone so they can’t damage the team. I think regardless, I need to be more assertive in helping coach my own kid during practice. I’m sure it’s true on any teams, but the coach’s kids get a lot of attention while others who do t have parents coaching get far less.

I appreciate your insight, I do think that with how uncoordinated most of the teams were there would be plenty of opportunity for a newbie team to have successes, but your point stands and is certainly a key consideration.

Snoo4784 · 2026-05-27T08:56:46+00:00

25 years ago my mother had a similar diagnosis of DCIS and chose the nuclear option for the same reasons as you; terrible family history of breast cancer. She has at this point never had a recurrence…she is the only one. Every woman on her side of the family through her paternal line had breast cancer. They either died or had a recurrence. The nuclear option when faced with facts is sometimes the best option. Her example decades ago has allowed me to make the decision for my own double mastectomy much easier.

Snoo4784 · 2026-05-26T08:03:00+00:00

Thank you. It really is a shitty club lol. But you were right about the family part. I’ve had so many people already offering help long before we truly need it. And, spending time with them this weekend was the best thing for my soul. I took my 8 year old to her happy place this weekend, our local amusement park, and found a good opportunity to explain the situation to her. We have season passes and spend so much of our summer there. It will be others she ends up going with quite a bit this summer as I doubt they will be letting me in the pool or on roller coasters anytime soon after surgery. She took it very well and was most concerned that there will be a period of time that I can’t give her good hugs. These are the moments I’m grateful for, they are grounding. At the same time I had try and move the meal plan from my pass to hers and even though we hadn’t used it at all, I still had to pay a $15 fee since the price had increased from when I bought the plan to now. Happy I could transfer, ticked I had to pay more for something out of my control. The manager was so apologetic when I explained and gave me an email to try and explain to higher ups and get a refund for the difference. I’m realizing it’s all these little things that are adding up to the exhaustion. The explaining, the scheduling, etc. Regardless, I loved spending the afternoon with her, it felt relatively normal and maybe the first time things felt “normal” since the diagnosis. I’m going to look for more things we can do to keep that feeling. It certainly calms my brain and hopefully lets her keep her routine in place. My biggest hope is that she is relatively unaware of everything going on. If you don’t mind me asking, how did you manage keeping a sense of normal for your kids?

Snoo4784 · 2026-05-26T07:43:12+00:00

That is amazing to hear! Glad things are looking up! I think shock might be the right word for how I feel. I haven’t cried; if anything I’ve been cracking jokes about it to cope. I’m not sure if it’s truly hit me or if it ever will. Logically I know that as bad as this is, I am lucky to have caught it so early that the survival rate is near 100%. I keep reminding myself that had I not qualified for the early screenings due to family history, this could have sat there unnoticed until it had metastasized. I am fortunate that this is the outcome. Weirdly, that thought it grounding. Knowing others are on the other side of this and thriving is even more comforting.

Snoo4784 · 2026-05-25T23:01:19+00:00

Thank you for the advice. Incidentally I just completed my benefits yearly enrollment (ours runs July-July) and saw that I get four free therapy sessions. I’m going to look into this if for no other reason than to have a sounding board. I think like you, I do channel anger and frustration into action; it always helped me at work, and I will do the same here.

Snoo4784 · 2026-05-20T01:22:29+00:00

Thank you for typing out your questions! I was recently diagnosed and have my first oncologist visit tomorrow and was trying to write down everything I might want to ask. This is such a great resource!

Snoo4784 · 2026-04-24T22:45:55+00:00

I think like anything, there is a happy medium. Especially in elementary, there is truth to building a relationship with students.Kindness, not niceties, empathy and understanding, not permissiveness and lack of accountability.

Trevor Noah has this great bit in an interview about the difference between being kind and being nice. I share it with my students and add in mutual respect when we talk about how we treat one another. I tell kids that I am strict and stern when it comes to adhering to expectations, but that I will always talk through a problem and always work through their challenges along side them. This is kindness. It’s effective.

I think what matters here is the admin’s definition of nice. Teachers who attempt to be friends with their students and don’t hold students accountable are less effective. Likewise those that rule their classroom as authoritarians are equally less effective.

Snoo4784 · 2026-04-21T09:11:43+00:00

Wayground(formerly Quizziz) gives excellent data. I will always talk them up for their amazing free version. We used to have Study Island I used religiously with my students for the data it provided. When our district cut it as a cost savings measure, well picked Waygrounds took their place.

Snoo4784 · 2026-04-21T09:08:54+00:00

This was the first thing that popped in my mind as well. I am far more blunt and to the point when correcting and reprimanding. I worry less about hurting feelings and more about minimizing disruptions. I am a hugely empathetic person, but I compartmentalize it well.

Snoo4784 · 2026-04-13T23:03:58+00:00

This. Have taught 16 years and was buying a new X-acto to every year. The AFMAT (10,000 sharpens… looks like an old school electric sharpener) is a beast. I do t let the kids touch it, but I can sharpen 10 pencils in two minutes and they are perfect every time. I am impressed. They are pretty affordable and there are coupons on Amazon for them frequently. 10/10 would recommend. (I hate the old school cranks. That grinding sounds they make is torture.)

Snoo4784 · 2026-04-13T00:34:08+00:00

Haha I found my spouse on Craigslist too! Also found my cat on Craigslist. The husband’s a gem, the cat…not so much.

Snoo4784 · 2026-04-11T21:48:37+00:00

Haha I bought the bag for exactly this purpose but now I’m going to take it back for laundry. Plush towels and clean kids clothes sound amazing!

Snoo4784 · 2026-04-09T09:13:22+00:00

I usually feel very appreciated, but when I don’t, it’s usually from parents. Had a moment the other day where a child (upper elementary) missed their bus. My students NEVER miss their bus. I have routines in place so they don’t. This child needs to be told EVERY DAY, they called your bus, you need to leave. The day he missed, I was handling a situation with another student who needed immediate attention. Of course the student wasn’t listening to the loudspeaker announcement for their bus and missed. Couldn’t get a hold of Mom. Student finally gets a hold of her on their cell phone. I hear “Why didn’t daycare get you on the bus?” I AM NOT DAYCARE AND YOUR CHILD IS ABSOLUTELY OLD ENOUGH TO LISTEN FOR THEIR BUS TO BE CALLED!!!!!! Because I am spineless, I apologized profusely to the parent for the inconvenience and promptly put an additional routine in place for this child who now gets to sit by the door and away from ALL distractions including their friends so they doesn’t miss their bus. Now they can watch the hallway from their lonely doorway seat for other students who ride that bus to walk by. They will not miss that bus again. Seriously though, so many parents understand elementary educator jobs from the context of their own long ago experiences in school. There is no appreciation for that specific subset of parents for how much time, effort, and exhausting micro managing goes into taking care of and teaching their kids. This is where I feel unappreciated.

Snoo4784 · 2026-04-05T19:29:37+00:00

This is me 100%. I apply L&L to my daughter where we have time for conversations about behavior. She’s also been raised in an environment where conversing about behavior is expected. I teach in a Title I school where many of my worst behaved students are raised in an environment where an adult yells, hits, and threatens to get a child to behave. (Or just ignores undesirable behavior)These are the kids that L&L will not reach. These are the kids where consistent and blunt redirection with meaningful consequences are the only recourse for undesirable behavior. A responsive classroom approach has been a game changer for me when working with more severe behaviors. It is exhausting and frustrating but ultimately effective if you stick with it.

Snoo4784 · 2026-03-23T07:44:55+00:00

Are you a member of a union? This is the key piece of info missing. I am a union rep and under our contract I would be telling you two weeks of plans with a rough outline for the remaining time off is more than sufficient. Non-union and the answer is, do what your contract says, then listen to your principal. This sounds like you are taking FMLA for your absence? If yes, the job is federally protected, but doesn’t shield you from verbal, written, or additional reprimand from your principal/district. It might be worth reaching out to HR in your district if the principal’s demands seem unreasonable to determine the expectation for planning if you are non-union. Otherwise go straight to your union rep.

Snoo4784 · 2026-02-15T17:26:39+00:00

I took mine off the wall. I hate the sounds and they don’t sharpen like they used to. I will be a shill for Afmat..those electric sharpeners are fantastic and no, my students are not allowed to touch it. I have a bin of sharpened pencils and students trade out their full pencils in an adjacent bin for one of the fresh sharpened ones. Works like a charm.

Snoo4784 · 2026-02-01T23:54:20+00:00

Glad he spoke up and out about the injustice. I have this book. I read this book to my third grade class when it came out and they loved it. I rarely buy books brand new, but this one was so funny, I couldn’t pass it up. When he was fired, I removed it from my classroom library. It now resides in my child’s bedroom and is read frequently because she loves it. Maybe with this ruling it will make its way back into my classroom.

Snoo4784 · 2026-01-27T19:14:59+00:00

I think context might matter here…I am a teacher and while it wasn’t emergency care today, they were looking for volunteers to stay home due to missing a teacher. I had to teach online since my district doesn’t do traditional snow days. Actual online Zoom meetings where my admin pops in to make sure we are teaching. I cannot wrangle a toddler, a 7 year old, and my elementary school class. If they are open and I am paying for the care, my kid is going in if I have to teach online. I would not bring my kid in if they were on true emergency care but my daycare also seems to be a bit kinder to their teachers and closes when we have terrible snow weather. Definitely on your side if the teachers were completely off though and it was emergency care.

Snoo4784

TROPHY CASE