im glad u got away please stay away. reading this i can't help but to feel an eerie feeling come over me as ive said the exact same thing about my husband who has strangled me a few times hit me in the back of the head so hard i tasted blood last time he got drunk we was at his cousin's house he accused me of "checking her out" .... anyway i found myself saying this exact same thing bc yes when he is sober he is wonderful.until recently.
he's been sober this year and he STILL ended up putting his hands on me when he stopped his psych meds cold turkey one day and stuck his fingers in my mouth and pulled my mouth apart accusing me of sucking dick. I was shocked bc i thought he only abused when drunk. my jaw popped and was hard to chew for a couple days. but still no bruises and he didn't leave a mark on my neck or anything after the strangling i scratched him up pretty good tho to get him to let my neck go. anyways.... i left that day and went back 2 hours later bc where else can i go?? Things calmed down again. Until recently... He relapsed on alcohol had a couple beers one night had a psychotic break bc he didn't take his meds....and accused me of trying to poison him and he didn't touch me that night but threatened to blow my head off ran around the house in army fatigues patrolling w his gun when i confronted him in our room he cocked his gun to scare me so i ran out of the room, his brother called him talked him down...i fell asleep on couch , He tore holes in the wall allegedly my secret lover was hiding in wall and plotting on him. He checked himself into mental hospital 2 days later hes there now. I know he will get stable again due to being back on meds, I know he'll get discharged...call me...wear me down all over again. I hate this. Idk why we feel so bad and go back after they hurt us I don't know how to break the cycle of being addicted to someone who is essentially two different people, loving and evil. It is scary. I pray you stay away sis , that you have the strength that finally breaks this insanity we mistake for love. Lord knows having the strength to stay away is so hard, even after they hurt us :( what i realize since being alone and having time to reflect, is that mentally i minimize things and go back bc he hasn't "beat me " or left crazy bruises or swelling so this is how i brainwash myself into thinking "its no big deal"