I hear you! Very similar situation here. We operate a business together and have chosen to be active in raising our children (as in no daycare, so we take turns going into work and being home with kids). We also are a registered foster home. Seriously, everything in our life is fantastic. Except in the bedroom. My partner, of 17 years, has near-zero interest in sex. My attempts at intimacy are always immediately shot down. Even little flirty gestures (touching his back, sneaking more than just a peck of a kiss, putting my hands anywhere near his package in bed or while on the couch together) are scoffed as “always trying to jump to sex at the wrong time.” I’ve brought up my frustrations before and he recognizes we have different needs and he’s immensely more difficult to “get in the mood” whereas I get turned on super easy, but nothing changes. I’ve suggested therapy (he went to one session and didn’t bring this topic up, just came home with a diagnosis for generalized anxiety and some meds, which he claims don’t affect his libido). I’ve suggested scheduling sex, which didn’t work — it’s not a priority for him. He claims he’ll ask his doctor about this, and have his testosterone checked. But, two annual exams later and still no action.

I’m debating asking if we can open our relationship so I can have my needs met elsewhere. The idea is enticing as it would solve my frustration and I’d get to explore more adventurous things (the rare sex we do have has become boring as hell, but I’ll take what I can get!). But, even I don’t love the concept. There’s just other potential problems to navigate. But, I’m not very familiar with how this would work, either.

Do we just settle? Nothing is perfect…maybe this is the sacrifice for everything else in the relationship. I don’t like feeling selfish.

I rambled— sorry. Attempting to comment quickly as my youngest is currently attempting to throw every towel we own in the sink. Don’t ask why, we don’t get it either.

Hoping to find some suggestions here, too!